I try not to label my kids too much. I feel like so many people put children into a mold so early on in their lives, that no matter how their lives progress, they always are brought back to that label they were given as young children. My kids are 2 and 3. Everyday, I learn something new about them, and I try so hard to let them grow into the individuals that they will be. But, if I had to label them at this point in their lives, there are some interesting things I'm learning about both of them. Today I'll focus on TT. And the first word I'll label her as, is SENSITIVE.
TT is a sweet child in so many ways. She is the child who will come up to me, out of the blue, to give me a hug and say, "I love you so much." She will give her brother hugs throughout the day. She will cuddle, play with my hair, rub noses, and love on me. She is also uber sensitive, to the point where I don't think this is a 2-year old thing she will grow out of. (Perhaps I think that because her 30+ mama still hasn't grown out of her own sensitivity!) I try to parent to her sensitivity and embrace it. This girl loves strongly and hurts deeply. Just a couple examples. . .
The other night, I was reading TT a book. And in the book, there was the song
Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone
Oh where, oh where could he be
With ears cut short and a tail cut long
Oh where, oh where, could he be?
TT's bottom lip started quivering. I could see her trying to be strong. I asked her if she was alright, and the poor child started sobbing. "Mama! why are the dogs ears cut? Mama, where are the doggies' ears?" Oh my dear TT, she took this song quite literally, and after explaining it to her, she felt much better, and had to hug the book repeatedly and then had to sleep with the book. Lesson learned, I will change lyrics when needed.
Then there was church school today. The kids are gearing up for their Christmas program next Sunday, and the 2-year old class joins the larger group of older kids for 2 songs, and today was dress rehearsal. TT was SO proud of herself. She stood on the front riser, but then moved up a step to admire a 10-year old looking girl who was dressed as the Virgin Mary. TT was so proud. She felt like a big girl, I could tell. Then the older girl pushed her and told her she was standing in the wrong spot. I'm one of the teachers and I was watching this all play out. I watched TT try to be strong, but then the bottom lip was exposed, and she lost it. She missed the entire dress rehearsal and was so sad about it.
As a mother, I'm constantly thinking of ways to protect this young child's heart. I've always been one to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, and let me tell you, it's a burden to bear. And I think TT will be same way. She feels things very deeply. I must find a way to respect that about her at all times.
The other label I would put on TT, a label that I hope drops off sooner than later is NAUGHTY. I just can't think of a kinder way to say it.
TT has been in a hitting stage for. . . oh. . . about half of her life. I don't know what to do about it. T and I have tried everything. Timeouts, time ins, giving the person she hits the attention, giving TT more attention, and on a couple occassions, I slapped her hand back. I don't know what else to do. The girl hits sometimes, and it always causes me a lot of uncomfortableness.
Take today for example. Again, we are at church school. TT has taken a turn for the worse since the incident earlier with the older child pushing her. She's officially in a "mood." She and I go to the bathroom, and a couple minutes later, her cousin C, and her self-professed best friend, walks in with another teacher. TT screams and runs at her, and hits her in the head. I.WAS.MORTIFIED. I mean, if looks could kill, you should have seen the look this other teacher gave me. Oh, you know the look, "get control of your child. how could you let your child do this? what is wrong with your child. you SUCK at parenting." Yes! That look!!!
She only hits the other kids she loves the best. . . aka her big brother and her two cousins. She's never hit a random child. I guess that's a good thing, but it doesn't make me feel good that she takes out frustration on people she loves dearly. I don't know what to do about it.
I've also caught TT being naughty for attention. She'll dump a snack, pour her water on the floor, and purposely misbehave. I know she's 2, but I get frustrated by her determination sometimes.
I know my daughter is brilliant, and beautiful, and kind, and thoughtful, and all of those things. But, the mama in me DOES care about what others think, and when they don't know her and all they see is her hitting her very best friend/cousin, yes, it bothers me. And let's not even talk about when we go places and someone will come up admire her, and she'll yell no in their face. And let's not even talk about how recently I brought TT to the store to pick out a Christmas ornament, and she got frustrated at the register and threw her Cinderella ornament at the cashier and it shattered into a thousand pieces. Oh TT, what is going on in that head of yours?
I know TT best, and I know this child has a beautiful heart and a kind soul, and someday, I hope that translates to everyone else.
4 comments:
How verbal is she yet? When she's better able to answer that question with which you closed your post, things should get better.
I can't imagine that the hitting isn't a stage that she'll grow out of (hopefully quickly for your sake). I always doubt whether Emma hears and understands my reprimands when she does something wrong, but then I'll hear her reprimanding a doll or something and I think, hmm, maybe it does sink in, even if she continues whatever the bad behavior is.
As far as TT's sweet heart, that is something to definitely cherish. I wonder sometimes if Emma is the opposite. For example, I took her Elf on the Shelf away the other day because she was being bad and it didn't phase her one bit, despite her always loving the Elf up to that point. I told her how sad I was that "Holly" went away and asked her if she was sad...and she just said "no" and went on doing whatever she was doing.
Oy, fun times! And PS, I'm putting our Christmas cards in the mail today! I have yours hanging in our kitchen. Emma asked me who it was and I said, "that's my friend Leah and her sweet kids!"
I don't have any good ideas to share.....I guess 2 is just the age where they are learning how to control their emotions and acceptable ways to express frustration....TT is just learning, but I can imagine that would be very frustrating to you! That is very sweet that she has such a sensitive heart. Heather
It really is just a phase. It sucks that kids don't come with instruction books. The only thing you can do is deal with each situation to the best of your abilities. At the end of the day, she has her own little personality, and all you can do is try to help her use it to be good and nice. I think she will grow out of most of it with your continued correction. You just have to keep strong.
I think little girls are usually sensitive by nature. Its our motherly instinct to care. What a sweet little bug.
I love all of her snow pictures! I'm glad its you with the snow and not me. Although we're still running our AC down here. lol
Post a Comment