Making Strides

T and I leave in a couple of days, and we spent some time yesterday closing the loop on a few things. I talked to our MP yesterday (our social worker) and she will be mailing me a few copies of our completed homestudy. Now that our homestudy is complete, T and I can start applying to some grants. Most of the adoption grants we have found aren't for a huge sum of money, but every little bit helps, and I look forward to honing my grant writing skills.

The money aspect of adoption is always on my mind. Someone asked me a couple weeks ago, "Leah, are you sure you can afford to adopt?"

My first response wanted to be, "What an insensitive thing to say!"

But. . . the quick answer. . . No, I'm not sure I can afford it. I don't think most people have $25,000 sitting around in their checking account. And if you do, props to you. I certainly didn't have that kind of money sitting around. But I also know that I can't let that stop T and I from adopting a child. Money could always be used as an excuse as to not adopting, but I have this huge amount of trust that this is what T and I are supposed to do, and that somehow, it will all work out financially and otherwise.

I'm a huge fan of Little House on the Prairie. (Yes, I never claimed to be cool) I remember an episode where the Ingalls family was discussing money and not having enough of it. And they kept saying, "The Lord will provide."

That's how I feel. I'm trusting in something much bigger than myself. I know that when I hold my son for the first time, money will be the farthest thing from my mind.

When Will It Feel Real

T and I just hit our 3 months of when we started the adoption process. June 25th, we mailed in our adoption application. A joyous day in our lives. When we first handed in our application, our adoption agency told us that the paperwork process can take anywhere from 2 months to 6 months OR longer. When I remind myself about that timeline, I know T and I are in good shape. Our homestudy is complete (We are just waiting to get the final copy mailed to us), we are making a lot of process on our Dossier, and CIS has our I600A and we are waiting on approval.

For most expectant mothers, getting out of the first trimester is a wonderful thing. The risk of miscarriage goes down considerably, hopefully the first trimester pregnancy symptoms start to disappear some, and hopefully the energy level starts to return.

Although there are some similarities between a pregnancy and adoption, I imagine there are mostly differences. I've never experienced pregnancy, so I can only speak to adoption. I keep asking myself, "When will this feel real." "When will it feel like I'm actually going to be a Mom?" Besides this blog, my family, and my friends, I haven't really announced our adoption to many people. With pregnancy, the fact that a mother is expecting becomes obvious after a while. There is simply no way to hide the expanding belly. But with adoption, there isn't the weight gain. In fact, if anything, I've lost weight since beginning the adoption process. (Must be the happiness and contentment it gives me)

I know that I'm expecting in some ways. I mean, T and I will be parents. That is what the mounds of paperwork are for. That is why we keep getting our fingerprints taken, keep filling out financial information, keep writing checks to the agency. This is all so we will be parents.

Yet, it still doesn't feel real. I'm hoping once our Dossier is approved in our adoption country, and we are officially on the waitlist, that it will finally feel real. At that point, T and I will start making purchases for the baby. We'll start thinking about the nursery, and daycare, and things of that nature.

Days like this, it's hard to trust that at the end of this we will welcome our child home.

The Weekend

If you haven't entered the contest for a free blog giveaway yet, you can enter here. Don't miss your chance to get your blog made over by a really talented person. :-D

I had a good, full, and fast weekend. T and I were able to "practice" being parents for a night this weekend. We have two beautiful nieces and we always feel so blessed to be able to get to spend time with them. We had a lot of fun with them. We went to soccer try-outs, ordered pizza, watched Scooby-Doo, watch the girls pass out watching Scooby-Doo, and then we carried them up to bed. On Saturday while one of my nieces was playing soccer with her uncle T, I brought our other niece to my sister's baby shower. My sister is having a baby girl in a couple months. My niece had such a fun time at the shower, and I was once again reminded of her beautiful heart. At the end of the shower, everyone was sitting around talking about my sister's pregnancy, the swollen ankles, and all those pregnancy related topics that people discuss at showers, and my niece turned to me and said, "Auntie Leah, I can't wait until your baby comes home and I can play with him and he can be my cousin." It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, especially a 5 year old, and it completed melted my heart. My nieces, who are 5 and 8, are so aware of our adoption, and I know they will make the best big cousins ever. :-D Oh, and I told my nieces that they can help T and I name the baby. Let's just say they've thrown out some pretty interesting names so far. ;-)

Sunday was all about getting packed for our trip. We leave Friday. I've never had such a need to get away for a few days. I'm really looking forward to it. :-D

My Weekly Post of Bullets

At least once a week, I have too many thoughts running through my head to attempt to compose one coherent post. . . hence the bullets.

1. Our Dossier paperwork is going fairly well! Each day, I feel like I check one more thing off the list.

2. Sometimes, it feels like things can't go entirely smoothly. All of our Dossier paperwork must be notarized, and our agency told us to try to get a notary with a date of expiration as far out as possible. Well, I'm hearing from MN notaries, that all of their commissions expire January 31st, 2010. That is cutting it close! That means that the government where we are adopting from must review AND approve our Dossier by that date, or we'll have to resubmit documents. Too close for comfort!

4. T and I started an online, mandatory adoption class yesterday. When adopting internationally, it is required that parents have a minimum of 10 hours of adoption education. I've really enjoyed the onine class so far. I've learned SO much about what to expect, and part of the class is also listening to other people talk about their adoption experiences. The class is also trying to prepare us for the rollercoaster that is adoption.

5. I thought it was great that so many people suggested Ireland in yesterday's post as a place I should visit. Because guess what? That is where T and I are going next week! Can't wait. I booked these tickets so long ago, and so much has changed since then, that it feels like that was a different lifetime ago.

And finally. . . check back tomorrow for the latest and greatest raffle! I promise it's a good one!
:-D

The Passion Within Me

I'm not sure when the passion started. I'm also not sure why it started. But ever since I can remember, my biggest passion has been seeing the world.

Did it start by my urge for diversity in my hometown of rural MN? Did it start when I lived with exchange students from Norway in College? Did it start by my passion for foreign languages? I can't pinpoint the exact moment it started, but it's a burning passion in my life. I think it always will be.

I received my first passport when I was 21 years old. The only other country I had been to before that was Canada. Those were the pre 9/11 days, when we could travel to Canada with just a license or birth certificate, therefore I never had the need for a passport.

The circumstances around why I got a passport to begin with are a bit tragic, but at the same time, that "tragedy" is also the reason my life is the way it is now. Therefore, I'm glad it happened. Let's just say I applied for a passport for a very specific reason, and that reason didn't work out. One day in college, I went to check my mail like I did every day, and in my mailbox was my very first passport. I completely forgot I had even applied for a passport because it had been at least 2 months prior.

So, here I was. 21 years old, a passport in hand, a heart that needed mending, and no where to go. That changed quickly when an opportunity presented itself by my wonderful relative MG, who was living in Holland at the time with her family. My Grandma wanted to go visit MG in Holland, but didn't feel comfortable traveling there alone. NO PROBLEM. I agreed to travel with my Grandma there. My mom decided she wouldn't mind the vacation either, so she met my Grandma and I there.

I stayed a month, and it was a wonderful, healing, life changing trip! I spent many days in Amsterdam, where a few Norwegian friends met me from Norway. I also spent many days in other parts of Holland. Then a few of us took a ferry over the English Channel and spent a few days in London. I remember sitting on a bench in Hyde Park in London, and just people watching. The manerisms of people were different, the fashion was different, people in general were thinner, their disposition was different. I was enthralled with all of it. At night, I would go out on the town and engage locals in conversation. I was always amazed at how worldly these "foreigners" were. They knew details about America, yet I couldn't tell them anything about their country. I couldn't tell them who the president of Holland was? Or if they had a parliament? Yet these people knew so much about my country, and of the countries of the world.

That's when I realized how isolated I felt here in America. I was so focused learning about American history, that I didn't know about the history of the world. It was at that point I made it my goal to learn as much as possible about different countries. . . their culture, their politics, their people. Sometimes I wonder if there would be more world peace if more people had passports. Traveling has taught me so much about different countries and it's made me realize how many similarities we all have.

I left Holland and England a month later, and I felt like a new person. My life's passion was ignited, and I felt whole. My first trip abroad became the first of many. I couldn't get enough of it. For the first time in my life, I felt like a world citizen, instead of just an American citizen. Obviously, I will always identify myself as American, because that is what I am. But I am not just American. I am part of a much greater whole. And although I am very proud of who I am and where I am from, I do sometimes wonder if I was born in the wrong place? Or am living in the wrong era?

T and I dream about living abroad someday, but for now, I will quench my thirst with my travels. In a little over a week, T and I will depart for our next adventure. And when the monkey is with us, we look forward to travels as a whole family.

I leave you with some of my favorite travel pictures.

CANADA

ENGLAND

HOLLAND

ESTONIA

FINLAND

RUSSIA

PORTUGAL

NORWAY

SWEDEN

BELIZE

MEXICO

EGYPT

Is there anywhere you've ever wanted to travel to? Is there somewhere you've been that you would highly recommend?

Today is a new day

If you haven't entered this week's raffle, you can do so HERE. It is for a beautiful handmade vase made by one of my blog friends. It is really beautiful. :-D I'm really excited for this week's raffle that I will announce Friday. I'll give you a hint. . . It is only going to apply to people with blogs already. It's a great raffle though. . . being provided by another great blogger out there.

Today I got to work and had a nice email in my inbox. It's one of those forwards we all get sometimes. I don't know about you, but I only open them up half of the time. The other half, I don't bother. But this morning, I needed a pick me up, and decided to open the video. I'm so glad I did. There are important lessons in this video. Lessons that I need to be more aware of. Especially on days like today. A day where I drove to work in the dark. A day where I feel overwhelmed, and a day where I was having a hard time being thankful. Not anymore.

Check out this video.

http://www.stanthony-sacramento.org/multimedia/Take_a_10-30_minute_walk/index.html

Dossier

Over the weekend, T and I received our packet of our Dossier paperwork. The Dossier is required for international adoptions. . . Feel free to click here if you want a further explanation.

I'm not going to lie. . . the stack of papers overwhelmed me a bit. So many different things are required, such as financial history, the deed to our home, letters that Taher and I will write to the orphanage. Not only is that aspect a bit overwhelming, but also overwhelming is the fact that everything must be notarized. I'm wishing I had a friend who was a notary. Anyone, anyone? ;-)

T and I have a conference call with our agency this evening, and that will allow us to ask the questions we need to ask.

As overwhelming as this final stack of paperwork is, I also had the realization over the weekend of how much closer we are to being on that waiting list. We are getting really REALLY close! Once we are done with all of this paperwork, we'll send it to our agency, and then we'll just wait for the government to approve our I-600A, which is already in the works, but could take up to 90 days.

Everyone who has adopted has told me that the very hardest part of adoption is once you're on the waiting list. I'm not sure how I'll feel, but a part of me is thinking the waiting list will be "easy" because I won't have to worry about gathering paperwork, etc. Instead, T and I can start thinking about the baby's room and things like that. I guess we'll see. . . I mean, EVERYONE has told me the waitlist is the hardest part, so there must be truth to that.

In other news. . . AKA Twilight News. . . I spent my weekend reading. Literally, that's almost all I did. And I am now done with all 4 books. WOW. What a story. I was completely pulled in. I don't know what it is about good fiction that pulls me in, but I always have a few days of melancholy after reading good fiction, like I'm experiencing a loss or something. Even though I have a trip coming up in a couple of weeks that involves a long plane ride, I think I'll stick to non-fiction. I don't want to be melancholy on the trip! ;-)

And if you haven't signed up for this week's raffle, check it out HERE. It's a beautiful handmade vase. :-D

Blog Award

I have received this lovely blog award!

Thank you to Jenny from A Heritage From The Lord for giving me this wonderful award. :-D

1. Choose 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content and design.

2. Show the 7 winners' names and links on your blog.

Chelle at Baby Bean Mom
Emily at Our Little Buster
Elizabeth at Bits of Sunshine
Courtney at Dandies in the Sunshine
Michele at Life After Loss
Yaya at Yaya Stuff
Mandy at I love my Mist


3. List 10 honest things about yourself.

1. I realize I'm a MN girl whose roots are tied to Scandinavia, but I LOVE spicy food. My nose has to water. The hotter, the better!
2. I love school and education. This time of year, I'm always so nostalgic because fall represents back to school. I want to go back to school!
3. One of my greatest passions in life is traveling. For the past few years, T and I have tried to visit a new country every year. Some people buy bigger houses, faster cars, more clothes. . . we travel.
4. I hate when people drive slowly in the left lane of traffic, completely oblivous to the fact that they are really messing up traffic. And I'm not afraid to use my horn. Get over already!
5. I love studying foreign languages, and if I actually would pick one and stick to it, I may be fluent in another language right now. Instead, I switch every couple of years. So far, I've studied Spanish, Russian, and Arabic.
6. Bad grammar bugs me. I realize my grammar is far from perfect, but I at least know that "he don't" doesn't sound nearly as nice as "he doesn't."
7. In hindsight, I realize it's more important for me to live in a shack in my desirable neighborhood, than to live in a beautiful home in a not desirable neighborhood.
8. I hate my hair. HATE it. It's really fine, but really thick. Totally unmanageable, and not real pretty. I keep telling T I want to shave it all off. . . and I'm only half joking.
9. I have a great Mom and Dad. There isn't one bad thing I could say about them. To me, they are the best parents in the world and I know it.
10. Apparently, I have a MN accent. I'm working hard on getting rid of it. :-D

Gratitude

Nothing new on the adoption front today. T and I are anxiously awaiting our big packet from the referring agency with the list of all the paperwork we need to collect, notarize, and mail back. I'm hoping it's in tonight's mail!!!

I just wanted to take a moment to show my gratitude. When T and I announced our plans to adopt, we didn't know what to expect from people, but the outpouring of love has been very humbling. So many people have sent us kind notes, donated money, kept us in their thoughts and prayers, donated products to raffle off, spent their precious time working with us on fundraising ideas. The response has been amazing, and to be honest, I didn't expect any of it.

In the past few years, I've become highly synical of people in general. Everyone seems to be only looking out for #1. That is why I am truly humbled by the kindness (many times from complete strangers) that has been shown to us. The kindness from others makes me want to be a better person and do more for others. It makes me want to give back.

As of today, T and I have raised approximately $600.00 towards our adoption, and we couldn't have done with without all of you. That is $600 that we don't have to worry about coming up with. Depending on how you look at it, this covers our application fee to both agencies. It also nearly covers the I600A fee. We are truly grateful!

I look forward to having our monkey home with us, and then finding a cause and doing good for that cause. I can't wait until it isn't me on the receiving end. It's so much more fun to give.

In COMPLETELY unrelated news. . . I'm officially on the Twilight Series bandwagon. Not sure what took me so long. I think it was a lot of deliberate rebellion. But as of last night, I'm on the bandwagon! I rented Twilight (even though I've heard the books are SO much better). And there is no way I can wait until November 20th for New Moon to come out in theaters, so after work I may be making a stop at the local library. :-D Yay for distractions!

Social Worker Visit #2

On Thursday, Taher and I had a meeting with our Social Worker, MP, where we were able to read the homestudy report she wrote about us. It's weird reading someone else's perspective of your lives.

The report was about 10 pages, and spoke about our lives together, our marriage, our finances, our home, and things of that nature. Nothing MP wrote caught us off guard. It was all really positive things.

After reading the report and making a few grammatical corrections, we talked to MP about what the next steps are. Once she makes corrections to the report, she will then mail the report of to CIS. (Citizenship and Immigration Services. . . aka Homeland Security) They then will approve our homestudy and I600A. MP warned me that right now it's taking 1-2 months. That is actually less than CIS told me. CIS warned me that this could take 3 months.

After our meeting with MP, we went home and I checked my email. I had an email from our contact at our referring agency letting me know that she received our adoption agreement and that our Dossier paperwork is in the mail, and that we should receive it no later than Wednesday. This was GREAT news! The Dossier is really the final step before being on the official waitlist. It is a bunch of paperwork that needs to be certified and notarized that will be sent to our country of choice, and then translated into that language. It feels great to be able to start on that list.

All in all, it was a GREAT adoption week!!! I feel like progress was really made. The homestudy is nearly complete and we are finally working on the Dossier!!! :-D

In unrelated adoption news, this weekend I had the opportunity to go see our President speak live. In my opinion, it doesn't matter what you feel politically, seeing the President speak in person is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and one I surely wasn't going to miss. 17,000 other people had the same idea, but I was SO glad I went. It felt great to be a part of something. Throughout President Obama's speech, I kept thinking, someday I'l be able to tell the monkey that I was at Obama's speech. That makes me proud. :-D

Acceptance

Have you ever been dealt a situation in your life that you had absolutely no control over? A situation that by all means was unfair and undeserved? Have you ever gone through a "why me" moment?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been dealt a situation that I couldn't change. I mean, nothing that I could say or do would change it. Situations like this at times make life seem unbearable, but we humans are resilient. We learn, we grow, and we move on.

In my experience, the best thing for me was my moment of acceptance. It took a lot of tears and heartache to get there, but once it came, peace flowed throughout my body. Once acceptance came, I started smiling more and the tears were less.

There are some people in my life right now who have also been dealt situations that they have no control over. Sad, tragic, and underserving situations. It would be so easy to be angry and bitter, but instead these people are handling their situations with such grace, positivity, and love. I am amazed.

My hope for everyone is that you don't focus on the uncontrollable circumstances in your life. There are many things in your life that you can change, and that should be the focus. Try to look at the deeper meaning of the hand you've been dealt. Did you ever think that maybe you were dealt that hand because a higher power thought you could deal with it better than anyone else? My hope for you is that if you aren't already at your moment of acceptance, that you'll get there. Once you are there, you can focus your energy on moving on. Moving on isn't giving up. It's simply realizing that energy focused on something that you can't change is energy wasted.

"Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it."

Random Babbling

Do you ever wake up and have a hard time having a coherent thought? That is me today, so I think I will be writing in bullets. ;-)

But before I do that, I want to remind you that you have until Thursday, 5pm, to get your name into this week's raffle. It is two for one! So, for only $5.00, you could win two fabulous prizes! Click HERE for details.

• I finally heard back from our Social Worker yesterday, and she thinks there will be an easy solution to the whole paperwork and being a contractor scenario. I hope so, as I've been a little stressed about that.
• We mailed in our adoption agreement and a hefty sum of money to our referring agency yesterday. Feels good to be moving forward!
• Tomorrow evening Taher and I meet with our Social Worker at our agency. We will read the homestudy report she has written and offer suggestions. Once that is finalized, it will be mailed to CIS (Citizen and Immigration Services) and then we'll really be moving.
• We have made it our goal to be on the official waitlist no later than Christmas. Although I'd love to be on it sooner, this process takes longer than I was originally anticipating, especially working with two separate agencies.

Those are the main things going on in my life right now. Oh, and Taher and I are making plans for a trip we booked half a year ago. You know. . . before we started saving up for the adoption. But more on that another day.

The End of Summer

Summer in MN doesn't follow the calendar year. Instead, summer pretty much begins Memorial Day Weekend and ends after Labor Day Weekend. It's a much too short period of time, and it always goes too quickly. Although I love this home state of mine, I could do without the weather. My perfect climate would be 85 and sunny at all times. I don't like fall, I dislike winter even more, and I guess spring is okay. . . but only because it means summer is just over the horizon.

I had a wonderful summer, however short it was. Here are some highlights of my summer of 2009.

My baby brother graduated from college, and I couldn't be prouder of him and all of his accomplishments. He's really grown into an amazing young man.

Memorial Weekend! Nothing beats spending a weekend at the cabin with family to celebrate the unofficial start of summer. Best sunsets I've ever seen. . . and I've seen a lot of sunsets.

A wedding of a friend. I LOVE weddings. I love watching people make a commitment to one another, and I love that it brings friends together. The friend in the picture with me is on our adoption references.

Planting our garden. This is one of my favorite things to do with Taher. He always pics the greatest flowers.

Lazy evenings spent in the backyard with my little family. I sit and talk, and Taher grills, while our cat Sucar basks in the sun. Perfect summer evenings. :-D

Days hanging out in our city. We love to attend festivals, take pictures, people watch, and just hang out.

More weddings! If you didn't notice, I wore the same dress to 3 separate weddings. Shhh. . . What can I say. . . I loved the dress, and all the weddings were very different groups of people, so I thought I could get away with it. (And I could have if I didn't publicly out myself here)

My sister got married, and it was beautiful and perfect.


Last day at the dome because our hometown baseball team will be playing in a brand new, outdoor stadium next year! :-D

And of course just days spending time with loved ones. Nothing can beat days like that.

The summer came to a close with a perfect weekend spent at my favorite place in the world, our cabin. The weather was perfect, it was wonderful spending time with family, and of course I saw the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen.

The summer of 2009 will also be remembered as the summer Taher and I began the adoption process. That definitely puts a smile on my face. :-D

The End of a Decade

Today (Thursday) is my LAST day ever of my 20's. Yes, tomorrow I will be 30 years old! It's hard to believe, because just yesterday, I remember being 20. I was a naive sophomore in college when I turned 20. It's been a wonderful decade though. My most transformative decade. I've learned SO much, that I'm barely recognizable. I'm still me, but wiser. I'm still me, but with wider eyes and different outlooks. But I'm still me.

I learned so much during my 20's. SO MUCH.

I learned that a four year degree does not mean entitlement. I also learned that no matter how much I went into debt for that private school education, it was worth it. EVERY penny of it. I wouldn't change a thing.


I learned that goodbyes suck. I mean SUCK. The pain is unbelievable, and it's true, life will never be the same. But life will go on, and your friends will always be your friends, and they will always be there for you. . . Even if from a different continent.

I learned that no matter how difficult life gets, take some time for yourself. Because life WILL be hard sometimes. Take some time to sit in a park, be alone, and reflect.

I learned that part of my life truly began when I got a passport. I learned that Holland is awesome, and seeing the ocean for the first time is breathtaking. I also learned that salt water should not be swallowed.

I learned that our earth is huge. There is a lot of world out there. . . Outside the borders of the U.S. And I learned different viewpoints and that not everyone is dying to live in the United States. I also learned that going to Buckingham Palace does not guarantee that you get to see Prince William.

I learned that on a 10 hour flight to Finland, instead of drinking screwdrivers, one should probably drink water. . . AND REST.
I learned that Russia is an amazing place to visit. And that there are friends, who even though you haven't seen them in YEARS, will still drive 10 hours from Moscow to St. Petersburg to see you, because that is what friends do.
I learned that being proposed to by the person you want to spend your life with is one of the most amazing things in the world.


I learned that unconditional love exists. I learned that I'm never alone in life.

On a trip to Norway, I learned that just because my Grandma's Great Grandmother was Norwegian, it does not make me Norwegian. To be Norwegian you must be born there. Yes. . . That I learned.



I learned scheduling vacations without the destinations approved by the husband isn't always a good thing. I also learned that cruises aren't really my thing. But I also learned that seeing two countries I've never been to before (Mexico and Belize) is never a bad thing.


I learned that I could be a professional student. . . If I could afford it. I love learning.



When traveling to Egypt, I learned that humans have far more similarities than we do differences. I also learned that it's okay to be different. Life would be very boring if we were all the same.

I learned that it's okay to stand up for what you think is right. Disagreement on things isn't a bad thing.

I learned that dreams DO come true. Even when no one else gets your dream.

I learned that when life gets tough (and life WILL get tough) don't push people away. Lean on people, and be there when people need you to lean on.



I learned that life is really short. Enjoy it! Have fun! Smile! Don't take yourself too seriously. It's only life. . . afterall. ;-)



I learned that a girl growing up in rural MN, and a boy growing up in the city, can grow up, get married, and realize just how much they have in common with each other.

I learned that life is not about the destination, but all about the journey. I learned that I don't have one single regret about any of my 20's. I lived, learned, loved, and grew. I couldn't ask for anything more. That's not true. . . If I could ask for one thing, it would be that time would slow down a bit. But, I'm ready to move on to another decade. I know myself better than when I was 20.

What have you learned in your 20's? Not in your 20's yet? What do you hope to learn, see, and do?