My Lil Scarlett Susan is 8 Weeks Old Today!

Scarlett,

You have grown SO much in the past 8 weeks.

Your eyes now follow objects around and you love watching people.

You smile so big! Especially in the morning when you first wake up. The smile you give me when I peek down on you in the bassinet in the morning is absolutely priceless and makes my whole day!

You have been sleeping through the night for about 2 weeks now. You usually fall asleep between 8-9pm, and you usually wake up around 5-7am. YAY for us! :)

You like to stay awake during the day. You may take a couple short cat naps, but that is it. You fight sleep all the time during the day. Your mama must be too interesting. ;)

You and your Baba have a special place in the backyard to hang out when you're fussy. He adores you, and I can tell you adore him too.

You are a good little eater, and no matter how much I feed you, you always seem ready for more. Yet you remain just an itty bitty little thing. (You get weighed next week at the doc! Can't wait to hear what it is!)

You still wear some of your newborn outfits, but now the 0-3 month clothes are starting to fit. However, you have no waist apparently, so the jeans in 0-3 months are much too big. I guess you will just have to wear mostly dresses as anything with a waist just isn't working for you.

You tend to get overstimulated when you are in large crowds. You seem to prefer a quiet setting most of the time.

You love constant movement when you are fussy. I have walked miles just in the hallway of our house, and you know immediately when I stop walking and let me know.

You have major meltdowns at night. You just get completely done with the day and want to sleep, yet you refuse to sleep, hence the meltdown. They are meltdowns only your parents could adore. :)

I love you so much baby girl! And sometimes this parenting stuff is difficult, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I adore you and every moment I get to spend with you. You are so special.

1 More Month

In just 1 more month, I'll be in Ethiopia, picking up Khalil, and getting read to bring him home. I've never experienced so many emotions at once.

I'm excited to have Khalil home. I've been dreaming of this day for what seems like forever. How is it that I can't remember life before dreaming of Khalil? I can't though.

I'm scared to have Khalil home. Having 1 baby is hard. Having 2 babies? I CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE. Scarlett is going through a rather fussy period right now, where she will cry and I don't know why, nor can I console her easily. I'm tired, yet I have a feeling I don't even know what tired is. Multiply all of this by 2. That will be my life.

I'm uncertain that I will immediately feel bonded to Khalil. We all have this picture perfect view in our heads of meeting our children for the first time, and love overwhelms us, and we live happily ever after. Well, in real life, it doesn't always work that way. I've read many adoption stories where the bond took a bit longer. . . for both the parent and the child. Will I feel an immense amount of love for Khalil immediately? Will it take some time?

I feel sad that no one will be able to take care of Scarlett when I'm gone as well as I take care of her when I'm here. Will she feel comforted? Will someone sing her her favorite songs and walk her endlessly? Will she know I'm coming back?

I feel relieved that we've come this far. Adoption is by far the hardest thing I've ever set out to do, and I'm almost at the end of it. The paperwork end is in sight.

Most of all, I feel hopeful. I am hopeful that Scarlett won't feel jipped having to share the attention of her parents. I'm hopeful that Khalil will fit in perfectly, and that he is meant to be my son. I am hopeful that he and Scarlett will grow up together and be the best of friends. I'm hopeful that the adjustment into our family will be a smoothe one, and that T and I will quickly adjust to having 2 children.

The hope is definitely what is getting me through this period of uncertainty.

See you at the Embassy 1 month from today!

Adopting While Pregnant

Each week, I receive emails from people asking how it is that I was able to adopt while being pregnant. Many people say that they thought Ethiopia didn't allow that, or their agency didn't allow that, and therefore they want to know what agency I am using. I thought I would dedicate this post to answering these questions as well as I can. Or people tell me of a friend who was adopting and got pregnant, and had to stop the adoption.

Ethiopia places NO restrictions on being pregnant while adopting. One of the reasons I was drawn to Ethiopia as a place to adopt is because they place very little restrictions on the adoptive parents. You don't have to be religious, you can be fairly young and adopt from that country, you can be a single mother and adopt, etc, etc, etc.

If you know someone who was pregnant and couldn't adopt from Ethiopia, it is because many agencies are the ones who put restrictions on people. It is agencies that decide you must be a certain religion, it is agencies who say that there must be a certain age difference between your biological children and your adoptive children, and it is agencies who say you absolutely cannot be pregnant and adopt.

T and I purposely stayed away from all agencies who had religious criteria, or who wouldn't allow a woman to be pregnant and adopt. We felt like anyone who wanted to adopt should be able to. . . assuming they would be fit parents. And in the back of our minds, we always hoped we'd get pregnant someday, and we didn't want that to be an adoption deal breaker, because we also really wanted to adopt.

So, after a lot of research, we chose Dove Adoptions International. We have had an extremely positive experience with Dove. We feel like they are a very ethical agency who has the child's best interest in mind. They communicate with us frequently, and they have really been accurate about their general timelines. If we adopt again, we will definitely use Dove.

Dove allows women to be pregnant and adopt. We started the adoption process in June 2009, and found out we were pregnant in October 2009. I waited until I was out of my first trimester to notify Dove of my pregnancy, and T and I were met with many congratulations. The only thing we had to do from an adoption perspective was update our homestudy announcing my pregnancy. Piece of cake.

Are you adopting currently? Do you know your agency's policy on being pregnant and adopting?

I hope this post was able to answer some questions. :)

I Know When My Son is Coming Home

Ever since beginning this adoption process, that has been the question we've been asked over and over again.

"When will you actually have your son home?"

If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked that, well, then this adoption would be completely paid for. :) And it's a great question, but one I've been unable to answer because of so many variables that go along with adoption.

But yesterday we received word from our agency that our embassy appointment. . the last and final appointment of this endeavor is September 30th!!!

We are so happy to finally know, and inshallah, that is when we can bring Khalil home! :)

As you know, I have decided to make this trip to Ethiopia, and my Mom is sweet and generous enough to make the journey with me, and T will be a single parent for the week I am gone. Our agency is suggesting we arrive either September 24th or September 25th, and the earliest we can then leave Ethiopia is the evening of October 1st. Ethiopia requires at least one week in the country when picking up the child. My plan of course was to go for the shortest amount of time possible, so we could get Khalil home, and so my time away from Scarlett was as limited as possible? Well, guess what? Minneapolis to Addis Ababa isn't the most popular flight, therefore, the flights are a bit limited. Right now, it's looking like I'll have to leave on a Friday, and come back on a Sunday. 9 days away from Scarlett. 9 days. My heart is breaking inside just a little.

I don't know how I can have so many emotions at once. I sit hear in excitement and anticipation to not only get to meet my son, but to get to bring him home. FINALLY!!! We will be a family of 4. I can't wait. Yet my emotions are also scared. When I say goodbye to Scarlett before my trip, I will not only be saying goodbye to her, but I'll be saying goodbye to her as my only child. Yes, I know I'm already a Mama to 2, but Scarlett is the only child in my custody at the moment. She is currently the center of my world. That will shift. Will the shift be okay with her? Is she just simply too young to care? I know people with multiple children say that the heart just grows even bigger with the addition of children. But can I give both Scarlett and Khalil the love and attention they deserve? Can I stomach being away from Scarlett for 9 days? Do I even have a choice? I had mentally prepared to be away from her for 5 days. But 9? Really? Will she know I'm still Mama when I am home? Or will she be looking at our nanny as her Mama? Am I completely irrational and going off the deep end? (Don't hesitate to tell me I am)

Life is really coming full circle for my family. We will have Khalil home either October 2nd or October 3rd, depending on the flight situation. Do you know what I was doing last October 2nd? I was flying to Ireland with T. A trip I booked to try to heal from the infertility mess that had become my life. A trip I booked to get away with my husband and heal from the thought of never having a biological child.

And here we are. . . it will be exactly a year later. Married. . . with 2 children. Makes me wish I had had more faith during the entire journey.

Why is this Adoption Taking So Long?

I was asked that recently, and I suppose to some, it is taking a long time. Afterall, we got our referral for Khalil on May 4th, and wow. . . that is 3 and a half months ago, and here we are, still waiting to bring him home.

So, here is why things take so long:

1. Referrals at our adoption agency range from 4-6 months on average. Although T and I started the adoption process in June of 2009, it took us many months to finish the home study (LOTS of paperwork there) we then had to get clearance to adopt from the US government, more time still, and then we had to fill out paperwork called a Dossier that was sent to Ethiopia. Also, a TON of paperwork. We didn't get on the official waitlist until around November 2009, and were on the waitlist for 5.5 months before getting our referral. So really, that was right in line with what our agency predicted.

2. We received our referral 1 week before the laws in Ethiopia were about to change. When we started the adoption process, families only had to travel once to Ethiopia, and that was for the Embassy Appointment, which was when we'd get to bring our child home. Now parents must also travel for court. We unfortunately missed the deadline for 1 trip. Court was really backed up at this time, because Ethiopia was trying to get everyone court dates before the law changed on May 9th. So, that is why it took us 3 months from our referral to our court date. I just consider ourselves lucky that we beat the court closure due to the rainy season. The courts closed on August 9th, and they don't open up again until October. We JUST squeaked by!

3. Now we are waiting on the Embassy Appointment. The way I understand it is that after passing court, all of our paperwork is then sent to the US Embassy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. This will allow us to bring Khalil into the US. Our agency quotes that once you pass court, on average, you get your embassy appointment 6-8 weeks later. We are now at 2 weeks, so I really hope we at least hear about that date SOON. Today perhaps???

4. A LOT of people are currently adopting from Ethiopia. A LOT. Taher was telling me that when he was in Ethiopia, there were a lot of French couples adopting also. Yes, not just Americans adopt, but people from all over the world. T also told me that when he was boarding his flight from Addis Ababa to Amsterdam, there were SO many couples leaving with little Ethiopian children. T told me half jokingly that he thinks Ethiopia's main export is there children. So, just the huge number of Ethiopian adoptions make getting court dates and embassy appointments that much longer. I'm not the only one adopting from that beautiful country. . . many many many others are as well.

I am still estimating that Khalil will be home in September. . . early October at the latest. And if that holds to be true, our entire adoption from start to finish will have taken 15 months. Do you know how FAST that is for international adoption? That is very very very fast. There are some countries where adoptions are taking almost 5 years. So, 15 months is considered a very quick adoption.

So, that is where we are at now. Next week, I look forward to sharing a guest post from T about his travels to Ethiopia and meeting our son, as well as some pictures from his trip. :)

All About TT

As we anxiously await to get the call about our Embassy Date, I thought I would do a post all about Scarlett as she turned 6 weeks old this week.

It's hard to believe she's already 6 weeks old. A part of me feels like she's been in our family forever. Perhaps that is because I can't remember a time where I was able to take a shower with the door closed, or watch silly television, or anything like that. (And by the way, wouldn't go back to that for anything if it meant not having Scarlett in my life)

I'd like to say we are starting to form a routine, and perhaps we are a little bit, but for the most part, Scarlett and her needs dictate our days and we just go with the flow.


Scarlett loves her Baba (Father in Arabic) and here is T trying to soothe her by giving her a little rock. And our cat Sucar didn't want to be left out. Can you say multi-tasking?

Because I'm home alone with Scarlett during the day, we have to use the self-timer function a lot on the camera. Here is Scarlett and I about to go pick up T from the airport. The flowers you see behind my head were a gift from us to T as he returned from his journey.

We also manage to do a lot of snuggling. Really, she is just the cutest thing we've ever seen.

We are currently doing bathtime every other day, and Scarlett is starting to scream less and less each time. After we do bathtime, I give her a nice massage with lotion, and she loves it. Her personality is really starting to come out, and when she smiles, it melts my heart.

During the day, I also try to do some time for pure education. I'll shake a rattle for her and try to get her to follow objects. I'll also do tummy time so she can work on that neck strength. Again, she doesn't scream as much as she used to, and her neck is so strong already.

At the moment, I'm not too concerned with the whole routine thing. Afterall, as soon as Nur comes home, we'll be finding a new routine. I cannot wait to post a picture of my children together. That will be a monumental day in my life seeing them together, as I've been waiting for that for so long. Soon I hope. Very soon. :)

This week TT turned 6 weeks old.

When Lying is Best

I have been anxiously waiting the call from the adoption agency with our Embassy Appointment date. We are so anxious to have Khalil home for good. With the anticipation of this call, I am also sad about leaving Scarlett. I know it's for the best, and I know that once I'm back, she'll have no recollection that I was gone at all. But at the same time, she is really starting to recognize me. She smiles at me, follows my voice, and is easily soothed by my touch. She definitely knows I'm her Mama, which is going to make leaving even harder.

So, the other day, I'm playing with Scarlett on the floor, and T is sitting on the couch. I asked T if Scarlett will even know I'm gone when I travel to Ethiopia. (Of course, the answer I wanted was that no, she won't even realize it, it will go by so quickly, blah, blah, blah)

Instead, T answered.

"Of course she'll know you're gone! She's going to cry bloody murder as soon as you leave."

I then had to instruct T on the fact that sometimes lying is best, although he disagreed.

*sigh*

I hope he is wrong.

My Legacy

Having a child, soon to be two, I realize that they are truly my legacies. Khalil and Scarlett will live on when I am long gone.

After giving birth to Scarlett, I have been trying to preserve every moment of our young family's life. I never want to forget what I thought and felt in these moments, and when Scarlett is older, I want her to know exactly what I was thinking, and who her Mama really is. So, I have been writing her what I call Scarlett Letters.

Here is one of the entries I would like to share:

Hi beautiful Scarlett. I'm lying in bed eating cookies and drinking Mt. Dew, so unhealthy, I know, and you are peacfully sleeping away in your bassinet. You've actually been sleeping since about 6am. I can't believe it! I'm watching TV, eating junk food, and just watching you sleep. I love these quiet moments.

We've had a busy few days, and we have more busy days to come. You and I spent the night at Grandma and Grandpa's on Sunday night. It was the first time you weren't sleeping at our home, and you did great. You woke up once at 2:30am, and I fed you, and then you woke up again at 4:30am, and your Grandma Su fed you. Your Grandpa Paul walked you everytime you would get fussy. You are a spoiled girl , and it's just because we all love you so much.

Everyday with you is the greatest gift in the world. Everyday you are becoming more and more alert. I often look at you and wonder what you will look like when you're olde.r What your voice will sound like? What will your personality be?

Today it's supposed to be about 95 degrees and stormy. If you wake up soon, I'm thinking we should go on a nice walk before it becomes too hot.

I love you.

The Weekend

Our anniversary weekend was very different than any we've had in the past. We were planning on dinner and a movie, but when Scarlett got a bad cold, we decided we weren't comfortable leaving her for a few hours, so we changed our plans.

We decided the humid MN day would be perfect for her congestion so we got her outside and had lunch on a bench in front of one of our favorite Minneapolis lakes. We then walked around the neighborhood, came home and took naps, and then ordered pizza and watched the MN Twins game. Definitely low key, but we loved being together as a family.

We are hoping that this week is the week we get THE CALL about going to pick up Khalil. :)

The Development of an Orphan

Before T went to Ethiopia to meet Khalil, I had special instructions for him on things to look for in Khalil.

A little background on us and our referral of Khalil. Many adoptive families, before they accept a referral for a child, will bring all the medical documents received to an international adoption clinic to make sure the child is somewhat healthy before adopting him. T and I had planned to do that also. We believe that all children deserve homes, but we didn't feel equipped emotionally or financially to deal with special needs. Then on May 4th, we received our referral. We read about Khalil's background, we read about the limited medical history on him, and saw his picture. Within one hour of receiving our referral, we had formally accepted it. We didn't run anything by the medical clinic like we had planned. We saw him and just knew he was our son. We also had the realization that all children pose risks. They can be born healthy and develop something. We truly didn't care. Khalil was our son, and I hoped and prayed that he was as healthy as the Ethiopian doctor was suggesting, but either way, he was our son and we were his parents.

Back to T's trip to Ethiopia. I wanted T to check certain things about him just so we are as prepared as possible when he comes home. T did an amazing job too! He sat him up to see if he could, and well, Khalil unfortunately face planted into the ground. Okay. . . so he can't sit up quite yet. T put him on his belly, and he had great arm and neck strength. One thing T noticed about Khalil though is that when he would lift him up, he would keep his legs curled up like a newborn. I have no doubt that is more about the fact that he lies down all day and therefore just hasn't used his legs.

So often, T and I will be sitting here playing with Scarlett, who isn't even 6 weeks old yet, and T will say, wow, Scarlett's legs are so strong. . . Khalil can't even do that yet. Khalil is being taken care of so well, but the truth is, is that nothing can replace the affection, attention, and the touch of parents. I am confident though that Khalil will catch up. We are going to work with him diligently, we are going to give him love and time, and we are going to get him into the appropriate medical professionals who can help him. We have no doubt that he will catch up.

Having children is such a leap of faith. I'm not usually a leaper in life, but I would take this leap all over again if it meant this is what my family would look like.

Friday Happenings

Poor Scarlett is sick right now. She has a bad cold. I brought her to her doctor yesterday and learned there is basically nothing that can be done. So, I'm just watching her closely (she's passed out right beside me right now) and keeping her head elevated for her cough, taking her temp multiple times a day, and making sure she gets plenty of fluids. I'm feeling bad that maybe I've been taking her out too much. She obviously got her cold from somewhere. Hearing her little cough breaks my heart. She is just so helpless and it's obvious she doesn't feel well. She won't even cry because she starts coughing so hard. Hoping she feels better much soon.

T and I are anxiously awaiting when we'll get that embassy date. Khalil's bedroom just looks so empty right now. We are very anxious and excited to get him home.

Here are some things that T got while in Ethiopia. The first one is a traditional boy's outfit, then a traditional girl's outfit, and then some art. I love having art around our house from around the world.

Tomorrow is T and I's 6th wedding anniversary! Wow! It has flown by! We were planning on dinner and a movie and some adult time, but depending on how baby girl is doing, we may just be snuggling her in front of the tele. As long as we're together, I'll be happy.

I'm Such a Rookie

For the most part, I'm a good Mom. I feed my baby girl when she's hungry, I change her diaper, I give her lots of hugs and kisses, I hold her constantly, but man. . . I make mistakes as well and am always second guessing my ability as a Mom. Like the first night she was home, we are laying on our bed, and I set her on a body pillow. I reached over to get something, and I look over and she's gone! Luckily, she had just rolled off if it and was in a pile of covers on the bed. Whew! But still. . . freaked me out. Yesterday was an even bigger mistake. I decided to be ambitious and go to the grocery store before T got home. Scarlett started having a breakdown in the grocery store, so I took her out of the carseat she was in to console her, which worked perfectly. After grocery shopping, I put her in the car and left. I have a mirror in her seat so I can see her at all times, and her little head was slipping out of the carseat. Holy crap! I had forgotten to strap her back in, so she was just sitting without straps in her carseat. I pulled over immediately and the crisis was averted, but man, sometimes I just think I should be doing better than I am.

And then there is her eating. It's really important to me that Scarlett has breastmilk. It is so good for babies, and I've always felt strongly about breastfeeding. Well, Scarlett has never really latched on, and I gave up easily, so now everytime I feed her, I pump first, and then give her a bottle. I would LOVE to actually have her feed on me. I'm happy she's still getting breastmilk, but this isn't real convenient.

And then there is her spitting up. It's a lot. I know babies spit up, but seriously, sometimes the amount really scares me. I even brought her to her pediatrician for it, who was not concerned. Well today she took in about 3 ounces, and literally spit up/threw up the entire contents. Maybe she just didn't burp good enough before we put her down? Maybe we layed her in the horizontal position too quickly after feeding? Scared me though! A lot!

And sometimes I feel like I'm not entertaining her enough. Are there fun things to do with an infant? I don't want my baby being bored.

So, motherhood is going well, but I strive to be better. But, Scarlett is growing and she smiles and seems happy, so I guess I have to trust that I'm doing something right.

Here are some new pics of my baby girl. :)

He's Home!

T got in around noon yesterday, and Scarlett and I anxiously picked him up at the airport. I was so happy to see him and have him home safely after such a far away journey, and I believe Scarlett was happy too! She changed so much in the week he was gone. She's starting to really focus more, and is smiling too! She saved some of her smiles for her baba. :)

He had a great trip. He was able to visit Khalil a few days, he was able to pass court which makes Khalil OUR SON, he was able to experience a new country, and meet new people. I'm very proud of him for being able to do this alone. I'm sure it wasn't easy at all.

He took a ton of pictures and video that I can't wait to share with you all. There is some discrepancy on when I can share it though. Some say when we pass court, and some say not until we have physical custody of Khalil. . . So I'll error on the safe side and wait. It was so fun to see the pictures and videos though. I got a better idea of who my child is. T did so great with him, and I know Khalil really took to T.

It was very hard for T to leave him. . . especially because we don't know when our embassy date will be. We are hoping that we can bring Khalil home as soon as possible.

T also brought us home some great treasures, but for some reason I'm having issues uploading them, so that will have to wait.

I'm officially a Mama of Two!

What I've known in my heart ever since I first saw Khalil's picture on May 4th is now legal and official. Khalil IS MY SON.

WE PASSED COURT!!!

I was up this morning at around 3am, feeding Scarlett, and decided to jump on my email. I knew T was having issues finding the internet in Ethiopia, but I thought I would try. I'm so glad I did! He emailed me that I'm a mama again. So blessed!

T said court took about 4 minutes, and then it was over. We passed court, which means Khalil is our forever son. It's so hard to believe, yet I've known it all along. I'm hoping T has some idea of our embassy date before he leaves Ethiopia.

And speaking of the embassy date, the decision has been made that I will be going to Ethiopia for the 2nd trip, and to attend our embassy appointment. I've never been so happy and so sad at the same time. I'm SO happy to meet Khalil and begin the bonding process. I'm SO happy to see Ethiopia and the orphanage Khalil has been living in. I feel a strong need to do these things. But I look at Scarlett and I'm SO sad to be leaving her. . . if only for a week. She knows me so well now. She's starting to smile at me and follow my voice where ever I am in a room. I just don't know how I'll leave her. Yet I know Khalil needs me too. This was the hardest decision I've ever had to make (And I'm sure there will be harder decisions to make in the future) yet I know this is what must happen. My gut has been telling me to go. . . my heart has been telling me to stay. I guess I'm following my gut. I know Scarlett will be well taken care of and loved while I'm gone. . . and I know it will only be for a few short days, and I know Khalil will benefit from me picking him up, and I know when we get home, we'll be the family of 4 that T and I have dreamed of. Then why do I feel so gutted inside? I just keep telling myself. . . it will be okay, it will be okay.

Ethiopia Update

Scarlett and I (well, mostly I) sat by the phone all morning waiting for an update from T. Because today was the day he was meeting Khalil!

My phone finally rang and I was so happy to get an update. T said meeting Khalil was amazing. He said he's an adorable boy, and even fell asleep in T's arms. T took lots and lots of pictures and even video. He even tried him in different sized outfits so when we bring him home for good, we'll know what size he'll be wearing.

T said his overall health was good. T was concerned with a couple minor things, but will meet with a pediatrician at the orphanage tomorrow to discuss his concerns. T said Khalil has great neck control, but isn't quite sitting up yet. He also said that he doesn't like to put any weight on his feet. . . something I expected as in the orphanage, they aren't getting a lot of that type of exercise.

Our courtdate is tomorrow, August 5th, at 9am local Addis Ababa time. (1am CST) I cannot weight to hear from T tomorrow. If we pass, Khalil is officially our son.

I will keep you all posted. :)

Guest Post from Taher (En Route to Ethiopia)

I've always loved traveling to Egypt. Every tme I've went I felt a strange sense of being home. I felt that same sense every time I heard the vuvezelas being blown during the World Cup. As most Westerners complained about them, I relished them. There is something very satisfying to me about the tournaments motto, "Ubuntu," which means "I am because we are." And what exactly are we? We are human.

Ethiopa, being one nation away from Egypt is going to provide me with my first taste of sub-saharan culture and the birthplace of my son. I don't perceive having any culture shock having traveled internationaly several times. I am apprehensive of Khalil though. I've seen videos online of parents meeting their child and the child screams bloody murder upon introduction. I of course know that is natural as we are strangers to them but I have enjoyed extreme success with children in my life thus far. On holidays I always have Leah's younger cousins literally crawling all over me. My newest niece sticks her arms out at me when I enter the room, and I've enjoyed my great relationship with my neices from my brothers side as well. I guess all I can do is hope that everything with respect to court passes well and I can fianlly share photos of our Khalili with you. I believe he is officially ours once the Judge says so. And after all of this, I must leave him.

My bond with Khalil has already started sometime ago. I'm not old fashioned but at this moment the thought of having a son is fabulous. It's not bias toward the gender, but there is an excitement that I can't exactly explain. Rather Henry VIII, except that I won't kill Leah for another women and then kill her too, and again and again and again.

Scarlett and I have a great bond now and that is something that will sting when I leave. I won't see my little monkey for one week. Seeing how she's only a month old, one week is a significant amount of time. I teased Leah the other day when TT was fussing. She gave her to me and she stopped crying on the spot. I told Leah that I needed to do something for a moment, so she said to me to hand TT back over. I told her that this would cause TT to cry and she replied that what I said was insulting. Soooo, I handed her back and TT instantly became unruly and started to cry. I'm going to really miss her, and not just because she looks just like me!

Another difficult task is leaving Leah. I haven't been away for a week since a trip to Egypt in 2002. Leah and I are suffering from a lack of time together. Little monkey is a full time job and we are both running lean on sleep. We went from having all the time in the world to do what ever we please to almost no time and having another child. I've always asserted to Leah that we can still do the things we like, we just have to involve these little turkeys. I still plan on catching every fixture of United's, it will most likely happen with my children and at someother time than "Live". What would I do with out DVR?

When most of you read this I will already be across the pond starting the final chapter of a long and emotional journey. From Leah and I to the four of us. Maybe we can get a reality TV show; I don't think we can hang with the Duggers.

The next time the World Cup comes around it will be held in the heartland of the beautiful game, Brazil. I'll also have two four year olds to share it with.

Ubuntu!

And in case anyone is wondering who Scarlett looks like, here is a picture of me when I was around her age. :)