Friday's Fragments

This is courtesy of Yaya's blog. This is where I cram in a bunch of random thoughts all into one post.

Random Adoption Updates
Not many updates on the adoption. T and I have a conference call set up with our adoption agency soon. This is where we will receive education regarding our referral and travel to the country to pick up our child. Besides that conference call, I don't expect to hear from our agency at all until we get that glorious phone call saying that we've been matched with a child.

Many people have asked us about a timeline for our referral. We don't know. We could get a call next week, although that is very unlikely, or we could get a call in 6 months. Our agency said once you're on the waitlist, it's about a 4-6 month wait. Well, we've been waiting about 2 weeks so far, so yeah, we have a ways to go. My hope is a referral by June at the latest.

Fundraising Updates
My aunt and Godmother offered to make and sell necklaces to help raise money for T and I's adoption. It was such a thoughtful gesture. She sent us a check with the proceeds recently, and the money helped tremendously. This world is full of so many thoughtful people. Thank you auntie J!

T and I still have some ideas floating around our heads and hope to do a couple fundraising events this winter.

Weekend Updates
Why is it that most weekends you have no plans at all, and then all of a sudden in one weekend, you have 3 different events to attend? I hope I get through this weekend. I've been so tired lately, and could just as well just sleep all weekend. But, there is fun to be had, so I'll just have to get my Saturday afternoon nap in.

We put our tree up, and I have a lovely picture of it, but left the camera at home. I'll post another day. Every house just looks more warm with a Christmas tree up.

Family Updates
I'm loving being an auntie again. I just can't get enough of my beautiful little niece. I went and visited her a couple days ago, and my sister informed me that Charlotte is now attached to her pacifier. So, I was holding Charlotte and she fell asleep on my lap. I decided it would be safe to yank the pacifier out of her mouth while she slept. I was wrong! Poor Charlotte screamed bloody murder. I learned my lesson.

My brother is moving out of our house January 1st, and then T and I have some master plans for the nursery. Can't wait to get moving on it. It's going to look great. :-D

And although my head is still full of many random thoughts. . . I think I'll leave it as that for now. :-D

A Year Ago

My first blog was at a different location, and I still have it available for my eyes, and eventually want to print it out as sort of a journal for myself.

One of my favorite parts of blogging is that it documents where I am in my life. Even though I don't always explicitly say how I'm feeling, I can read between the lines of my own words and know exactly what was going through my mind that day. Exactly what I was struggling with in my life. . . Exactly what battles I was facing.

I decided to look back at what I had written a year ago. Immediately, I remembered where I was in my life. And let me tell you. . . I'm so much happier being right here instead of where I was a year ago. Last year. . . things were tough. This year. . . I feel hope.

Here is what I wrote a year ago:

Each week, I try to do something for myself. Lately, I have gotten into eastern medicine. I don't discount western medicine. I know it is needed and I think doctors do amazing things. But I have come to the conclusion that eastern medicine, mixed with western medicine, may be the best option available.

Eastern medicine has been practiced for centuries, and I thought I would dabble in it a bit. Yesterday after work, instead of going home and doing housework or turning on the tele, I thought I'd drive into Uptown and get my first acupuncture treatment. As soon as I walked in the doors, I felt calmness. I could hear water fountains, and light, meditational music, and I met my acupuncturist, who had a calmness about her that I rarely see in people.

She and I sat down and chatted for over an hour. We talked about things ailing me physically and mentally, and basically, she just got to know me. Have you ever talked to someone who is so in-tune with themselves and those around them? That's how I felt when I talked to my acupuncturist. When I talked, she looked at me, and actually saw me. It almost made me feel uncomfortable and exposed. Almost.

We then started the acupuncture. She said many people who decide to do acupuncture don't like it at all, afterall, there are many many needles being stuck in you. But. . . I loved it! The very first needle put in me was right between my eyes. She then worked her way down, sticking tiny little needles all over my body in certain pressure points. Instead of feeling pain like some people do, I felt calm. One needle went on the top of my foot, and I could feel vibrations all the way in my head. My acupuncturist, after putting all the needles in me, turned on some meditational music, and then left the room for about 15 minutes. I laid there in complete stillness and meditated.

Ahhh. . . It was wonderful. I am officially acupuncture's biggest fan, and I will continue to get treatments. My soul felt happy and calm, and so did my body.

It Is Well With My Soul. . . By Horatio Spafford, a relative of mine

When peace like a river, attendeth my way. When sorrow like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Though has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blessed assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed is own blood for my soul
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part but the whole, Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, oh my soul
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Words by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873Music by Philip P. Bliss, 1876The words to this hymn was written after two major traumas in Spafford's life. The first was the Great Chicago Fire of October 1871, which ruined him financially. Shortly after, while crossing the Atlantic, all four of Spafford's daughters died in a collision with another ship. Spafford's wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram: "SAVED ALONE." Several weeks later, as Spafford's own ship passed near the spot where his daughters died, he was inspired to write these words.
Bliss originally named the tune "Ville de Havre" after the ship on which Spafford's four girls perished, the SS Ville de Havre. Ironically, Bliss himself died in a tragic train wreck shortly after writing this music.

And My Gift to You

I just received a lovely blog award that I was so proud to receive. I received it from the lovely Chelle over at Baby Bean Mom. This woman that I've never met in real life is amazing. She has been constant support to me and even made a BEAUTIFUL vase for me to raffle off to raise money for our adoption. It's amazing how we can become friends with people we've never met. I often wish TX was a lot closer to MN. . . cause I am sure we would be real life friends as well. Thanks Chelle! :-D

This award is not like all of the other blog awards because we all want to not only know about you, but your opinion of your fellow bloggers. So, without further ado, I present you with the rules.

Tell your readers how your journey into blogging began. Be as verbose or shy as you like.
Pick 3-5 fellow bloggers whom you adore and write what exactly it is you value about that person or their blog. The more you write about them the better. This is a chance to really appreciate your blog friends who have been there with and for you through thick and thin.
Let the blessed winners know they have been awarded.

That's it. Those are the rules. Now, before you think you can give the old line, "I don't want to pick anyone to pass this award onto because I don't want my readers to feel hurt if I don't pick them, so consider yourselves all tagged" I want you to realize that excuse tells all of your blog friends that you are wimping out, amongst other things. ;) Don't feel bad that you can't award everyone, the award will make its rounds and eventually everyone will get it. If you feel bad enough, you can always award more than 5 bloggers.

I decided to start this award in December because it is the season of giving and bringing cheer to others. What better way to do that than to let the people in our lives know that we cherish them.

I started blogging back in August of 2008 at a little blog I called Life According to Leah.wordpress.com. (I've now made the blog private until I decide what to do with all of my postings) I honestly cannot remember why I started blogging. I think it was an outlet for me. I was one of those bloggers without a purpose. I wrote about things that were going on in my life, I wrote about my political and religious beliefs, I wrote about my travels. Yes, my writing covered pretty much everything. But still, I always felt it lacked purpose. But now I realize that it was what led me to many wonderful bloggers so when I launched our adoption blog, I already had a following.

Without further ado, here is who I give this award to today. :-D

1. Emily at Our Little Buster. I'm not sure who reached out to whom, but we met because we are both adopting from the same country. (If you still haven't figured out my country of adoption, go check out Emily's blog) Emily and I now email each other and we have so much in common. Emily is another fellow blogger that I just know would be a wonderful friend in real life. Sometimes when we email each other, it scares me how much alike we are. Gosh this world we live in is too big sometimes! I follow Emily's blog on a daily basis and can't wait for her and her husband to get their referral. Although I've never met them, it is so obvious that they are going to make very wonderful parents.

2. Elizabeth from Bits of Sunshine. Elizabeth is one of my few in real life friends that also blogs. Her blog focuses on family life, home schooling, crafts, God, and just life in general. I enjoy reading it because it is so different than my life. I've also enjoyed being able to keep in touch via the blogworld. Once we all graduate high school and move on with our lives, and settle in different cities, it's easy to lose touch with people. So, this has been a wonderful way to keep in touch. :-D

3. Michele from My Life After Loss. This woman has been through more in her lifetime than I'v ever seen. Yet she remains resilient and full of life. And no matter what she is going through, she always makes the time to leave thoughtful comments on my post. And through blogging, I've also discovered that Michele was adopted. It is wonderful to hear the perspective of a grown adult and their views of adoption.

There are so many more, but I'm running short on time and want to get this post published. . . today sometime. :-D

No Room for Sorry

My new niece is just over a week old, and I've managed to go visit her 3 times already. She is absolutely precious. No one in my family can get enough of this beautiful, perfect, little girl.

On Saturday I had the perfect excuse to go see her. I had some gifts from my in-laws to bring to her. :-D My Mom was also in town to see her first grandchild, so I was able to spend time with my sister, my Mom, and the new baby girl in the family.

My Mom has a 1.5 hour drive to get to where we live, so on the way to my sister's, she had a phone conversation with my Grandma. My Grandma was asking my Mom was asking how I was at Thanksgiving. . . being around a new baby and all. My Mom was a bit confused by the question, and simply answered that I was fine, and so happy about my new niece. My Grandma then mentioned that she wished I could have a baby. My Mom answered that T and I are going to have a baby. . . an adopted baby. My Grandma then said, oh yes, I realize that. . . I just wish she was going to have her OWN baby.

This is not the first time I've heard comments like this. I actually hear them quite frequently. From all types of people in my life. . . from close family members to close friends. I realize that many people see adoption as second choice. But I don't.

People come to adoption in many different ways. For some couples, they decide to adopt after years of suffering from infertility, for some couples, it is a way to hand select a gender, for some, they are single, and don't want to wait to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, for some, biological children were never an interest to them, and for others, it is a greater calling that they have. We all decide to adopt for different reasons. I hope to someday share T and I's very personal decision to adopt.

We all build families in different ways. Although T and I are building our family right now through adoption, I will still view this child as OURS. He may not have my skin complexion, or my smile, but he will be my son. And there is no sadness in that.

I am very blessed. Although life isn't always easy, and although life doesn't always go as planned, I wouldn't change a thing. I am grateful for the life I am living and the relationships in my life. And more than anything, I am so entirely grateful that I will be a Mom through adoption. I truly can't think of a better gift than that.

There are also other wonderful things happening to me and my family right now. . . things I hope to share in the coming weeks. Yes. . . I am truly blessed.

Thanksgiving Eve

There is so much to be thankful for, and I try to give thanks everyday, but the Thanksgiving Holiday really reminds me to stop and reflect on all I have to be thankful for.

A husband who is my best friend and #1 supporter
Family
A cat who greets me at the door every day when I get home from work, and sleeps with me every night.
Airplanes that take me to far away places.
Email that lets me communicate with some of my favorite people in the world on different continents.
A house with room to grow.
My health.
Adoption.
Friends.
My new and healthy niece.
A car to take me to work everyday.
A job that allows me to make money.
Indian and Thai Food.
Health Insurance. . . and someday I hope everyone has it.
Big cities.
Cabin on the lake.
Education.
The blog world.
Warm summer nights.
Thunderstorms.
Heat during the cold winter months.
My camera.
401K.
Music.
Laughter.
Tomato Soup.

And so much more.

Find my Family

Last night I was laying in bed, watching Dancing with the Stars. When it ended, I didn't turn the TV off fast enough, and quickly got sucked into a show called Find my Family that ABC was airing. I had no intention of watching it, as I thought bed sounded more appealing, but I quickly got sucked in, and spent the next 30 minutes with tears running down my face.

Find my Family is a show about adoption. It tells both sides of the story. . . The birth families who gave up the child for adoption, as well as the adoptive child's side. Last night's story was beautiful. A 16 year old girl got pregnant, and she and her partner realized that they couldn't provide for their child, so they gave their daughter up for adoption. This young couple ended up getting married and having 3 more children, so the daughter they gave up had 3 biological siblings.

What was amazing to me, is the adoptive child (now a 30 year old woman) had no animosity towards her birth parents. Instead, this woman was raised with love in her home, and she and her parents often prayed for her birth parents.

Before T and I looked into adoption, I didn't realize people had mixed feelings about it. I always assumed that everyone thought adoption was a good thing. I was wrong. There are many people out there who belittle birth mom's for giving up a child for adoption, and have nasty comments towards adoptive parents who are looking for alternate ways to start a family.

There are so many mixed opinions out there, but I still think adoption is a wonderful thing. I think birth parents who make the decision to give a child up for adoption are the most selfless people this world has to offer. They don't make the decision out of abandonment. They make the decision out of love.

I look forward to watching this show as I think it is a beautiful depiction of what adoption is truly about.

A New Blessing

Yesterday I had the honor of meeting my new niece who had just been born. It is an amazing thing to see the child of your sibling. I can't even explain the emotions of seeing this tiny, beautiful human being, with these big eyes staring up at me.

I am so thankful that my niece is safely here, and I'm so thankful that my sister is doing well.

Every morning, my Mom writes her children and children's spouses a daily update. Today, was all about the day little Charlotte was born.

Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wednesdays child is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

On the day you were born Ms. Charlotte - we went to bed the night before knowing your mom and dad were at the hospital as her water had broken. Everytime we rolled over that night we thought of how everyone was doing. When we got up there was a text message from your dad waiting for us, all is well and mom is getting an epidural. At 9 a.m. we heard she was 9 centimeters dialated and pushing, at 10:37 you were born and grandpa got a text telling him that. We were in church during your birth and the sermon was about Mary and Elizabeth meeting while both were pregnant, Mary with Jesus and Elizabeth with John (the baptist). The point of the sermon is how God chooses regular people to do special things. That is you Ms. Charlotte, you brought together two very special people and now you will help them to be wonderful parents.

Later on in the church service we sang a song written by Horatio Spafford - It is Well with my soul. Once church was over grandpa and I got ready to come to meet you, he washed the car and filled the tank, I baked corn bread and packed chilli. Your mom and dad love grandpa's chilli. When we got to the hospital you were in the nursery getting your first bath. The nurse rolled you over and scrubbed you everywhere, in the little creases of your arms that had been so tightly curled for so long. When she was scrubbing you your little mouth opened and you screamed - even crying you were cute. When she would move away from you I noticed you looked around, where am I? and where is that lady and man who have talked to me for all these months? You stretched out and we could see how long you were. There was another lady who was looking at her granddaughter and she thought you looked so large. When the nurse brought you over to the sink to wash your hair she paused by the window so I could take a picture. You liked having your head scrubbed, you have long dark hair and beautiful pink skin. Your eyes are blue now but could change.

Once you were done with your bath they wrapped you up and brought you to your mom's room. We hugged your mom and dad and then held you for the first time - oh Ms. Charlotte, you are a heart warmer. I can close my eyes and still feel your tiny head in my hands. Your aunt Leah and uncle Taher were also there and took pictures of you and held you - they brought your mom and dad subway sandwhiches which they gulped down.

On the day you were born....we cried, tears of happiness, joy and thankfulness.