Oh My Gosh

I have some more randomness from my household.  Eventually, I think I'm going to put together a coherent post, but today is not that day.

"Oh my gosh!" That is what I said one day to TT as I was changing her diaper.  I looked at what was in there, and that expression came out of my mouth.  Now, everytime I change her diaper, she yells, "Oh my gosh!"  It's hilarious.

TT is obsessed with her nuki.  But when she sees food or a drink she wants to try, she'll throw her nuki across the room and say, "All done nuki."

This morning I was in the kitchen with Nur getting his breakfast ready.  Last I had seen TT, she was in his bedroom, and it had gotten very quiet.  Nur started saying, "TT, where are you?" (Think Scooby Doo.  That's what he sounds like)  TT came out, and had lotion all over her face and hands.  She showed her hands to Nur and said, "TT lotion.  TT pretty."  Nur said, "OK."  I just can't get over that these two actually are communicating with words!!!

Nur and TT often tell each other to quit crying.  Today Nur was crying at the table, and TT said, "No cry sissy."  Then TT was crying on her changing table as I brushed through snarly hair, and Nur said, "TT, no crying."  TT's reaction?  She started sobbing, and pointed at Nur, and kept saying, "No sissy!" "No!!!"  Oh my. . . my daughter is. . . passionate.

I enjoy a glass of wine some evenings.  As I drink it, both kids will point to it and say, "Mama Juice!"  Last night, I had a beer instead.  I showed it to Nur and TT and said, "Mama Juice."  Nur says, "No Mama.  Beer."  Okay. . . I guess my son knows beer.

TT wants to do everything I'm doing.  Some things though, I just need to get done.  She'll come up to me and say, "TT's turn!"  I try to explain to her that it's actually Mama's turn, and her response is always, "5 minute."  She is starting to get the concept of taking turns and I try to put a value to how long one of them gets a turn.  And now she walks around the house saying 5 minute.

When TT wants me to hold her, she either says, "Hold You" or "Up and Down." 

This weekend TT and I headed to my parent's house for my friend's shower, while Nur stayed with T at our house.  One, we thought this would be a good opportunity to have bonding 1:1 with our kiddos, and two, Nur doesn't travel well, so we thought it would be less disruptive if he stayed home. Well, the boys had a blast!

The girls had a blast too!  And when we sleep at my parent's house, I often share a bed with TT.  Well, I'm creating a monster. The last two nights, she woke up just sobbing, and when I would come in to see her, she would say through the tears, "Sleep Mama."  I was tired, didn't want to fight it, so I brought her into bed with me.  She cuddles up to me, facing me, and plays with my hair, until she passes out. How do I say no to that?

Nur and TT like to pretend to sleep in the same crib together. 

Happy Tuesday!

The Daily Stuff

I am enjoying learning more about the personalities of Nur and TT.  Everyday, I feel like I get to know them a little better, and they have so many specific things about their personalities.  Such indviduals these two are!

When Nur gets up in the morning and I go and get him, he looks at me, and says, "sleep good!"  As I change his diaper, he names all the foods that he wants to eat for breakfast.  "Oatmeal, Cereal, Banana Bread, Toast."  This boy wakes up with food on his mind.

TT will be 2 in just over 2 weeks, and each morning when she wakes up, I need to make sure to bring a sippy of juice in with me.  I mean, she demands a juice sippy first thing.  She won't eat immediately, but she absolutely needs that juice!!!  (And it's actually mostly water with a little bit of juice)

These two have started bossing each other around.  It's hilarious and challenging all at once.  Nur can be found saying, "TT, no!"  And TT can often be found saying, "Nur time out!"  They also have cute little conversations as well.  I'm also trying to get them to use their words instead of whining.  (Oh, will the whining never end!)  So in the words of TT when I told her to use her words, she said, "Sissy, no pushing!" It was enduring. :)

TT demands pretties in her hair almost daily.  I can't do anything more fancy that pigtails, but our nanny does fancy braids and stuff on TT and it looks so cute. 

TT doesn't use her nuki at all for the nanny, and the second I walk in the door from work, she starts yelling "Nuki, Nuki, Nuki!"  According to Nur's speech therapist, TT doesn't have a Nukie problem, I do.  (There may be some truth in that statement)

Nur now spontaneously says I love you.  Seriously the sweetest thing ever!

On a walk around the neighborhood the other day, TT was belting out a song.  (She breaks out in songs constantly) She was screaming at the top of her lungs, "One, Two, Buckle My Shoe. . . "  Nur was highly annoyed and started screaming at the top of his lungs, "No TT.  No.  Be Quiet."  Ahh. . . that made for a very unpeaceful walk. 

I was so scared that once my kiddos became toddlers, neither would have time for mama cuddles, but TT especially still cuddles so much.  This girl is almost 2, yet she will stop everything and sit with me, with her head rested on my shoulder, and play with my hair.  I love that I'm still getting cuddles. 

We've started a breakfast hair routine.  Both Nur and TT have crazy curls, so as they eat, I pull out the detangler spray, leave in conditioner and the comb.  It is a process! Wow!

Just a few things Nur and TT are doing these days.  Everything about them enriches my life in so many ways. 

TT - 23 Months

My baby girl will be 2 in less than a month!  (July 6th!!!)  I will have 2 TWO year olds in less than a month.  I'm a bit scared. 

TT amazes me in every way.  She can count to 10, she knows the majority of her colors and shapes, she talks constantly in actual sentences.  Oh, and she negotiates.  Her favorite thing to do when I tell her it's time to be done with something is look at me and hold 5 fingers up, and ask, "5 more minutes?"  (Where do they learn this stuff?)

TT's health has been great.  She is supposed to have a follow up appointment at the Mayo Clinic in July, but I think I'll cancel.  Her hair has completely grown back.  This and gorgeous.  I don't know if the meds Mayo prescribed helped, or if this was always going to resolve itself eventually, but my girl is no longer bald.  And that makes me very happy.

And speaking of hair. . . a funny story about TT's hair.  T asked our nanny to start brushing TT's hair in the morning.  Well, our nanny took out a brush, and brushed TT's hair, and this was the result.

I laughed so hard when I saw this picture.  You see, you can't actually brush ethnic hair.  I always dampen TT's hair, then I spray a ton of detangler in it, and brush through it.  And when I'm done with that, I then put a leave in conditioner in it.  Here is TT helping me with the daily routine.

TT loves playing outside.  We go to the park often and we often play with our water table and sprinkler.  This girl would live outside if we let her.

TT has an amazing imagination.  She is always feeding her babies, pretending to wash her hands in her little kitchen, pretending to be an animal running through the house.  I don't know where this girl comes up with things, but I find myself constantly laughing at everything she says and does. 

Now onto planning her 2nd birthday birthday, which will no doubt end up being a Caillou theme, cause, she is OBSESSED!!!

Happy Monday! :)

And Then Real Life Started

I don't want to be one of those blog writers who only writes about the sunshine and rainbows.  Life is way too complex for that to be anyone's reality.  It is definitely not my reality. 

Here's the thing. 

Creating the family the way mine was created takes a toll on the spirit.  It's easy to look at it as an outsider, and praise the Heavens for the way things happened.  Woman can't get pregnant.  Woman fails at infertility treatment.  Woman decides to adopt.  Woman then gets pregnant.  Woman gives birth to a healthy baby girl.  Woman adopts a healthy baby boy.  Boy and girl are siblings and best friends.  Everyone lives happily ever after. 

I like that above story.  I'd love to live that life.  It sounds wonderful and uplifting.  And some days, I feel like that is my life.  And other days, I recognize that having things happen as quickly as they did didn't leave a lot of time for heaing and introspection. 

T and I started the adoption process in June 2009.   My last failed treatment was in July 2009.  I told myself that I was at peace, but really, I was a mess.  T was a mess.  Yet we moved forward.  We are still moving forward.  I have heard from those close to me that the days in 2009 I was a complete disaster. I wasn't fun to be around.  People worried about my well being.  I WANTED TO BE A MOM.  Unfortunately, I think I stopped nurturing other things in my life.  My relationships, my health, my everything. 

And then within a span of 3 months, I had two children.  I had a 10 month old son from Ethiopia.  A son who I felt like needed so much more than I was equipped to give him.  A son who needed a mom who better understood the difficulties with international adoption.  And I had a 3 month old daughter.  Two children who I try to be there for.  Who I try to do everything for.  Because my goal in life is to make their live's wonderful.  I want them to have happiness.  Security.  Stability.  And I fight SO damn hard for them both to have that.

But sometimes, the messy beginning to motherhood comes and slaps me smack dab in the face.  It all comes rushing forward, and I have a moment of clarity.  I look around me, and ask, "how did I get here?"  How do I go back and heal, and fix what needs fixing, yet still be able to stand here presently with these two beautiful children who I would do anything for.  ANYTHING. 

I'm realizing that the scars of life don't go away the moment you get something that you wanted.  You quit focusing on the scars because you're too busy changing diapers and feeding children, but they are there.  And if you don't focus on them, and find a way to heal those scars, they will resurface, and life will fall apart.

And no matter how much you try to keep your head above the water. . . you will eventually drown.

Nur - 30 Months

Nur is officially 2 and a half!

I love this son of mine.  He is smart, sweet, independent, playful, brave, and so funny.

He talks more than I ever thought was going to be possible at this age for Nur.  He talks constantly.  Never quits!  And it makes sense.  I don't know how in the past few months he went from hardly no words at all to speaking in 3-5 word sentences.  It amazes me. 

One of his favorite things to do is to go to the park and go on the swing.  When he is swinging, he giggles and tells me that he is as high as an airplane!

This past weekend, Nur had his last day of school.  He is officially on summer break! Nur loved school.  He got used to socializing with other children, sharing toys, sitting patiently in a circle singing songs, and a lot of other skills that will prepare this son of mine to be ready for school someday. 

Nur loves talking about all the people in his life.  He is constantly naming relatives, and will say Grandpa Bye bye?  Grandma Bye bye?  Etc.  .  .  He is so confident in his love for people, and in their love for him.

Nur is really enjoying his summer so far.  Lots planned.  Trips to the cabin, running through the sprinkler, swimming, celebrating a sister's 2nd birthday, and so much more. 

Happy 2 and a half years old Nur!