The Constant Pull of Parenthood

Most days, I'm at peace with my family's arrangement.  We have a nanny that comes for 8 hours a day.  Meaning, I leave for work around 6:45am, T stays at our house until 8am when the nanny arrives.  Then I get home everyday around 3:45pm.  For one, having this arrangement means we are paying less for our nanny instead of having her come for a full work day.  (A full work day usually involves 8 hours of work and a 1 hour lunch)  And this arrangement affords me the opportunity to be home in the daylight, play with the kids, be able to feed them dinner, and then play with them some more.  Although it's sad to be away from them, I'm forever grateful that I don't have a job that involves me walking in the door later than 5pm.  Yes, we've been very lucky.

But lately, it feels like everything is changing.  I recently got a promotion at work that involves me chairing a board.  It's a visible position, and a position that involves a lot more work than before.  When I walk out the door at 3:30pm everyday, I know in the back of my mind that I really good stay for 2+ more hours to complete the work.  T's job is also gaining a lot more responsibility.  He's being pulled in a lot of directions at work and most mornings, you can find us negotiating who gets to go in early that day.  (I usually win) 

I'm forever grateful for our employment.  I work for a wonderful company, I like what I do, I work with great people, and in these economic times, I'm just grateful to be employed. . . period!  I went back to school to get a Master's Degree. . . why does one do that if they don't want to move up in their company?  In my defense, when I went back to school, I didn't know what juggling a family looked like.  I was a married woman in my mid 20's who saw the sky as the limit. 

But now I do have kids.  I do have a Nur.  And a TT.  And more than anything in this world, I want time with them.

This morning TT got up at 4:45am, and I got to spend some time with her. Then Nur and T got up, and T asked if he could go into work early.  I felt bad saying no, but I told him that I really needed to go in early today.  We then discussed asking our nanny if she was available for additional hours each day. I don't want to be gone any more than I already am, but times are changing. 

I'm not sure what the future will bring for our family, but I do see that things could potentially get more complicated with the juggling act.

First Day of Winter

Technically, February 21st, 2012 wasn't the first day of winter, but it felt like it here in MN.  We've hardly had any snow, and the snow we have had hasn't lasted more than a day.  Christmas was brown, we'd have days in the 50's, and I am one of the Minnesotan's totally okay with this.  I am not a winter person.  In fact I loathe everything to do with snow and cold.  And yes, I am totally living in the wrong state!  But the night of February 20th, we got about 4 inches of this dreaded stuff. 

After work yesterday, I asked TT if she wanted to go outside and play in the snow, and she yelled, "YEAH."  Just last week she was always so polite and would say "yes."  Those days are apparently over.  Me not being a winter person, my poor daughter didn't even have a snowsuit!  But no worries, her big brother has 3 so we put one of those on.

TT absolutely loved the snow.  She tried to eat it, kept falling in it, unable to get back up, and just laughed the entire time we were outside.

TT even helped me shovel the driveway, which was so appreciated.

While TT was enjoying her first time in the snow, this handsome little man was downtown with his baba at the barbershop that T also goes to.  His hair had gotten so long, and we like keeping it short for maintenance purposes.  And after a bad bad haircut Nur received this summer (totally my fault) we have decided we don't trust white people to cut his hair.

Happy Wednesday. :)

The Good, The Bad, and the just Plain Weird

Nur and TT are both starting to really develop their little personalities.  They are both so unique, and everyday, I feel like I learn something new about them. 

Let's start with the good.  :)

THE GOOD

Nur is starting to have word explosion.  He is talking SO much!  When he turned 2 in December, and the doctor asked how many words he is speaking, I said about 5.  The doctor asked me again, and I said, yes, I heard you, he can say about 5 words.  But in the past month, he must be up to about 30 words, and yes, according to all the stats, that is still behind, but it's progress!  Which brings me to the question. . . has anyone ever seen the Miracle Worker?  It's the story of Helen Keller?  Remember when she realizes that objects have names, and she goes around touching everything and naming them?  Well, that is currently Nur right now.  I was doing the dishes the other day, and he's tugging at my leg.  He wanted me to turn around, and he touched the wall and said, "wahh."  Yay Nur!  Then he touched the door and said, "dooo."  Yay buddy!  He's getting it.  And Nur being able to communicate better has helped his overall mood.  He can tell us what he wants, and that is huge. 

TT is starting to do so much better at separating.  The last two school classes, she cried for less than 10 seconds.  That is a huge success!  And when we peek on her during the class, she is having fun and engaged.  I love that TT is starting to become more comfortable.  She is starting to realize that she and Mama are two separate entities, and she's really starting to explore on her own. 

Both kids are starting to have manners when it comes to asking for things.  I've heard a few spontaneous pleases and thank you's.  Of course, they can never understand when I say no after they say please.  They still think that saying please is an automatic, "here you go!"

Nur is doing SO much better with anxiety.  He melts down so infrequently now. 

THE BAD

TT still hits.  Oh, it's frustrating.  People keep telling me she'll grow out of this, and I am sure she will, but at the moment, I'm a bit frustrated by it.  This weekend, she hit Nur, so T and I gave her a timeout.  After her timeout, we told her she had to hug Nur, otherwise, back to timeout.  She wouldn't hug him.  So, after her 2nd timeout, we again said that she needed to hug her brother.  She went and hugged him, and I was having a proud mama moment, when bam. . . she purposely head butts him mid hug.  What the???  Back to timeout.  After the 3rd time, she gave her big pro a genuine hug.  This girl keeps me on my toes. 

TT refuses to keep her clothes on.  She strips. . . constantly.  And then she runs around naked, and then I'll hear an "uh oh," and I come and look and she's standing over a puddle of urine.  What the heck?  I know these are all signs that she's getting ready to potty train, but when we put her on the toilet, she has no interest in sitting there for more than 5 seconds.  Today I put her in bibs, and she still hasn't figured out how to get out of those.

Nur is purposely trying to be naughty these days, and it's almost humorous cause he doesn't have a naughty bone in his body.  We were putting together a puzzle the other day, and when I made eye contact with him, he threw a puzzle piece.  Okay, I know he was just trying to get my attention, so I told him not to throw toys. He did it again.  Okay, I was obviously being tested.  He then started yelling no right in front of me. He's done this a few times, and I contemplate giving him a timeout, but I can tell he's just doing this for attention anyway.  So, do I just ignore it?  It's just so funny to me because even when he tries to be naughty, he still isn't being even half as naughty as his little sis when she's not trying to be naughty. 

THE WEIRD

When I put lotion on my body in the morning before I get dressed (cause hello, I live in MN, and it's dry skin season) TT tries to lick it off of me.  She looks like a little puppy, standing next to me, licking my legs.  Lotion doesn't taste good.  I don't get it. 

My kids are somehow obsessed with boobies.  Being a mama doesn't afford me a lot of privacy. This morning T was in the shower, and I still needed to get dressed, and didn't want to leave the kids in the kitchen alone while eating breakfast, so I brought my clothes to them.  When I took my robe off, Nur broke out in a giggle, pointed, and said "booby." And TT, well she likes to pull my shirt down and pinch them.  What the???  At least they only do this in our home, but I fear they will expose me in public eventually. 

A couple months ago, TT started saying "what's this" to absolutely everything.  When changing her diaper, she'll touch her privates and say "what's this?"  T and I had a discussion on what we should call it to her.  We didn't want to be too technical, but we had heard we shouldn't make up cute names for it. Well, before we had a chance to settle on what we would call it, TT started calling it "ku-ku."  What the???  So now, everytime I'm changing her diaper, she touches it, and asks, "ku-ku."  I say, yes TT.  Than I put the diaper on her, and she asks, "ku-ku bye bye."  Seriously, this girl cracks me up.

Independence

Lately, TT has been all about her independence.  She wants to walk up the stairs herself (even though I'm always so scared she'll fall, she wants to eat all of her food by herself (even though this means I scrub the floor nightly), and she wants to dress herself (which means this mama is often embarrassed to bring TT in public)

The other day, these were her choices.  No outfit is complete without a witch's hat, right?  Then she switched hats and wanted her pink hat, and of course tennis shoes to go with the ensemble.  And let's not forgot Nur's coat, cause it's obviously better than her coat.

Then there was this morning.  I asked TT if she wanted to get dressed, and she said "yesh."  She pulled out the clothes that she thought were appropriate for the day.  She pulled out a onesie, a one piece swimsuit with a skirt, and a two piece swimsuit, socks, and her pink hat.  And she happens to be wearing all of these in this picture.

You should have seen the nanny's face when she walked through the door.

Third Opinion? Don't Mind if I Do.

When I left the Mayo Clinic on Friday, I had a feeling that this wasn't the last time this particular doctor would think of S and try to get to the bottom of what's going on.  Giving the diagnosis of Androgenetic Alopecia on a 1 year old is unheard of.  In fact, I don't know if there are any documented cases of it ever happening.  And with that diagnosis, it makes the hairloss almost a symptom of something bigger.  I had the feeling that the doctor cared, and that she would be following up on this.  I had that same impression from the Endocrinologist we saw at the UofM.  She called my house the next day and said she couldn't get S out of her mind.  Doctors love a challenge, right?

Yesterday as I was sitting at work, I got a call from the doctor at the Mayo Clinic.  She started off by saying not all the bloodwork has come back yet, but what has come back is all normal.  This is all great news!  She then said that after she met TT on Friday, she consulted with a doctor in her department who is one of the leading experts on hairloss in children.  Dr. T (This leading expert doctor lady) was stumped.  She looked at the pictures of TT and was unsettled by the diagnosis of Androgenetic Alopecia.  She decided to consult with some of the leaders in this topic in the world who practice out on the west coast.  She shared TT's picture with a group of doctors out there, and all of these physicians were very interested in TT's case. After reviewing the pictures as well as the tests that have been done on TT, they called the doctors at Mayo to say that they thought it was another form of Alopecia called Alopecia Areata.  In the last few months, I've become quite the hairloss expert, and there are many forms of hairloss, and there are also many forms of Alopecia.  Alopecia Areata (AA) is the most common type of hairloss in children, but it usually presents itself much differently.  This is the more common look of children with AA.

The bald spots this condition cause are usually complete baldness.  TT's hair is more thinning.  Again, a pic of TT.

TT doesn't have complete baldness.  In fact, I can see why 2 doctors thought Androgenetic Alopecia.  It does follow the same pattern as many with male/female pattern baldness.  But again, my daughter being 1, if the Androgenetic Alopecia diagnosis was correct, than more likely than not, something more serious was causing this.

The Mayo Doctor explained AA to me, and said that TT presents differently than any child she's ever diagnosed with this.  She prescribed me a topical steroid and directed me to put it on the affected area twice a day, and that most children see improvement in 8 to 12 weeks.  She said that she doesn't know how TT will react to it because  nothing about TT's case has been normal. 

The diagnosis of AA was a relief to me.  It is much more common in children, and it rules out some of the scary stuff that was being discussed with me, such as hormonal tumors, adrenal system issues, etc.  And now TT is just a child who has AA, instead of being a child with Androgenetic Alopecia, which is probably more like 1 in a million.  And, there is a safe medicine for AA.  Whether it works or not is still to be seen, but at least there is something out there.  And some children with AA, the hair grows back on it's own.  Where again, if this was truly Androgenetic Alopecia, the hair would be gone. . . forever. 

I just want to add that the Mayo Clinic is not paying me for their endorsement.  Ha.  :)  I'm just so impressed with them.  The doctor we saw Friday was wonderful, but she was stumped.  She consulted with another Mayo doctor before going to world experts in this field.  It is that kind of attention that makes me feel like I'm in the best hands possible. 

I'll go back to Mayo in about 6 weeks to see this Dr. T woman who is a leading expert in the field.   I'm hoping we have some new growth by then.

I also want to add. . . at the end of the day, if TT loses her hair, but has no life threatening disease, I consider myself very lucky.  Doctoring these past few months, you see some very sad situations at the children's hospitals we have visited.  If this is the worst medical condition we deal with in our family, I will consider us all VERY VERY lucky.

Conversations in The House

Do not hit your Mama.  We do not hit.
Play with your truck on the floor.  Trucks do not go on the table.
Say please.
If you want more, you must say more please.
Do not hit your cousin in the head with a train.
We do not throw our food on the floor.
If you do that again, you will get a timeout.
We do not whine for no reason.
Do not hit your head against the wall.
Do not push your sister.
Let go of your brother's neck.
You have to at least try one green been.
Do not hold your sippy cup upside down.
Please help pick up toys
Do not hit. Hitting isn't nice.
Do not stomp your feet at me.
Sit still while I'm changing your diaper.
We don't play in the bathroom.
No more hitting!

I'm not surprised at how difficult parenting is.  I knew what I was getting into, and got into it willingly, and wouldn't change that choice ever.  I love being Nur and TT's Mama.  What does surprise me is how personally I take some of their behaviors.  Sometimes, these kids of mine are just downright naughty.  It makes me wonder, what am I doing wrong? Is their behavior being reflected by my parenting? Are my kids the only kids who act like this?  At what point will all of my hard work in discipling these two pay off? 

Some days are just so hard in our household.  Some days I feel like all I am saying all day long is the word NO.  I'm trying so hard to teach my children the difference between right and wrong.  I'm trying so hard to teach my children to be respectful to others and to themselves.  And I realize they are only 1 and 2, and way too young to really understand those concepts. I also understand that they have immature emotions at this point in their lives, and therefore some behaviors will come out of those immature emotions.

But man! Some days I just feel completely defeated!  TT for example likes to hit.  What's interesting, is she resorts to hitting when she feels anxiety about something.  A lot of times when we enter an unsure situation, she will turn to me and hit me in her face.  Hitting is an automatic timeout, and then I get to her level after her timeout and explain that we don't hit.  But this has been going on for months now.  When does it sink in?  What should I be doing differently?

Some people's childrens seem to be so behaved, and mine always seem to have an issue. . . big or small, no matter where we go.  Yes, feeling defeated.

But then sometimes, out of the blue, the kids will do something that makes me think, okay, they are getting it.  The repetition is working.  Like last night, when T handed TT a bracelet, and she said thank you.  Okay, this is paying off.  This will get better! Please tell me this will get better.

We have good days too, don't get me wrong.  Yesterday was a good day.  The morning went smoothly.  There weren't tantrums at the breakfast table.  There were no crocodile tears when I walked out the door for work.  And when I got home from work, both kids came running to me to hug me.  Yes, a good day.

Then the kids were feeling silly.  TT got out her bathing suits from her drawer and wanted T and I to put every single one on her.  She was laughing so hard and wouldn't let us take them off until it was time for baths.  I think the suits added 10 pounds to her frame!

Nur didn't want to be left out of the action, so he insisted I put this bow in his hair.  Is it just me, or does he look really good in pink?

If The Mayo Clinic Says it, it Must Be True

Friday morning I rushed both kids out the door and was on the road by 7am.  T would have loved to have joined us, but he had work obligations.  So, we jammed for an hour and a half to kids music (I know every song made for children now, seriously), the kids spilled on their clothes, they laughed, signaled that they were all done with the carride, we stopped at McDonalds, and finally arrived at the Mayo Clinic around 8:45am.  My Mom works there so she met us there and we took the kids to her office to see her co-workers.  My Dad then met us at the actual appointment, and he and Nur played while my mom joined me at the appointment.  A 2nd set of hands and ears is always very helpful at these things.

The Dr. was extremely nice, and so good with TT.  TT wasn't scared at all.  She just sat and smiled and played with my Mom while I filled the Dr. in on what had been happening up until this point.  The Dr. did a hair pull test and tried to remove a few hairs from TT's head.  She had a difficult time doing it.  The nice Dr. then asked if I minded if she brought in another Dr. to take a look.  Of course I didn't mind.  We drove an hour and a half to get some answers, and I was willing to see all the doctors in the world to get this figured out.

A few minutes later, the original Dr. and another Dr. walked in.  The new Dr. examined TT's head, and asked if she had always had a receeding hairline on the side of her head.  I mentioned that I don't remember it being that receeded originally.  Both Dr's then left the room again. 

About 15 minutes later, the original Dr. came in and started explaining to me her thoughts.

Basically, she said that originally, she thought TT probably started losing her hair due to Telogen Effluvium.  This makes sense because right before TT started losing her hair, she had a high fever and I brought her to the Dr. and it was Hand and Foot Disease.  After a couple days of Tylenol, she felt completely fine, but in kids, an illness or stress can cause hair to fallout.  And the Mayo Dr. is thinking that this what started the hair loss.  She said then though, it looks like it has turned into androgenetic alopecia, which is exactly what the UofM diagnosed her with.

The nice Dr. T told  me that she always reviews the patient's files before seeing them.  And when she received TT's a couple weeks ago, and saw that the 1st opinion at the UofM was Androgenetic Alopecia, she basically laughed because she thought it was near impossible for a 19 month old to have this, and she was very sure that her diagnosis was incorrect.  But upon meeting TT, and seeing for herself, she too thinks it's Androgenetic Alopecia.  She said she has never diagnosed anyone TT's age with this, or anywhere close to TT's age, but all signs are pointing towards this.  She said she did want to do a lot of blood work today though, as well as a bone age xray. She said before ordering the bloodwork, she wanted to talk to a Dr. in Endocrinology.  She got on the phone that minute, and called an Endocrinologist.  Seriously. . . another reason I LOVE the Mayo Clinic.  It's a one-stop-shop.  All the experts that needed to be consulted on TT's case, were consulted immediately.  I love that. 

Right after the appointment, TT went and had her bone aging xray, and then had her bloodwork.  They are looking for pretty much everything.  TSH, T4, Vitamin B6, Vitamin D, a bunch of other things that I can't remember.  A part of me is hoping they find something in her bloodwork.  Something that will really explain what is going on.  If all of her bloodwork comes back normal, than this is definitely androgenetic alopecia.  And the Dr. at Mayo also suggested Rogaine.  Rogaine people.  For my 1 year old.

And then there is the Rogaine debate.  T feels really strongly that we not give our 1 year old Rogaine.  I've been told by 2 Dr's that this is what we should do.  I feel stuck.  I see T's point.  There is no evidence or cases out there of a 1 year old taking Rogaine.  It's a chemical.  She could possibly need it for the rest of her life.  No one really knows the long term effects of taking it.  But I also know that T doesn't know what it's like to be a girl.  It kills me that TT may deal with this the rest of her life.  I thank God it's not life threatening, but it still has me down. 

So, that was the most recent appointment.  I hope to hear from the Mayo Clinic sometime this week about the bloodwork.

TT - 19 Months

We have good days, and we have bad days.  This girl is all sugar and spice. . . and lately, mostly spice!  T and I keep arguing over who her personality takes after.  When it comes to her cuteness, we both want to take credit.  And when it comes to her attitude, neither want to take credit!

19 months is an interesting age.  I have no doubt that we are experiencing terrible 2's with her.  Nur went through them before turning 2 as well.  This girl has personality!!!

Developmentally, I think TT is right on track.  She is such a talker! She tells us exactly what she wants, and doesn't like hearing no. Who does?  She likes to wake up in the morning and ask for a "cracka" (cracker) and of course she doesn't get it.  She also has become obsessed with Barney.  Barney always got on my nerves growing up, and now I have a daughter who LOVES him.  She calls him "Marney."  And really, the lessons his show provides are good lessons.  So I sit through them with TT.  She thinks they are great. 

TT has always been a mama's girl, but is starting to be real interested in her baba (father) also.  She'll ask me where Baba is, and if I say he's sleeping, she'll put her finger to her mouth and say "shh."  TT has also started giving me attitude at times, and I think it's her way of getting back at me for going to work.  Monday morning I went to kiss her goodbye and she refused.  I then got home from work and went to greet her, and she wanted nothing to do with me!  It only lasted a while, and then she was once again my girl, but her rejection broke my heart!

TT is so so silly and loves to laugh. She also likes showing us her knowledge and the picture above is what she did when I asked where her tongue is.  She is constantly asking "what's this" and always tries to repeat the word.

She is obsessed with going outside, and often will find a hat laying around and put it on.  I know she wants to get out more, but it's cold outside and we just don't have anywhere to go half of the time!

 
TT has become a good little helper.  She loves helping me swift, and she loves helping me put groceries away. 

TT has such sweet moments too.  She'll come up and give me random hugs and kisses, and now she has started copying me when I say "Love You."  Hers sound more like "Wuv You" but it's still the cutest thing ever.

I should also mention that due to all of TT's recent appointments, she has become quite scared of doctors.  She used to love going, and now, we walk in the office and she freaks out.  She screams through the entire exam, so I'm a little nervous about our trip to the Mayo Clinic on Friday. 

Being TT's mama is nothing short of amazing.  She is a great girl, and although I can't wait for this terrible 2 stage to be over with, I am still loving every minute with my baby.

Words

I love this age.  Both Nur and TT are finding ways to communicate with me, and I am loving hearing all the new words coming out of their mouths. 

TT has been ahead verbally for a while now, and I've mainly worried about Nur.  But in the past two weeks, he has really started talking a lot, and I love hearing that little voice of his and all of the new things he is saying. 

It's so fun to watch the transformation of words for him.  For Nur, bus used to be "Ga."  Then it turned into "Ba," and now it is "Bus."

He used to have about 2 words, and now he's up to about 20.  And although I realize he should have more, I'm just so proud of the progress he has made.  He now says:

More
Please
Mama
Baba
Auntie
Bye Bye
Hi
Eat
Go
Bus
Truck
Car
Choo choo
No
Yes
Night Night
Shoe

And I know I'm forgetting some.  I'm just so proud of him.  And it's so obvious that he and TT really learn things from each other.  One of their favorite things to say right now is that if someone is not physically in our presence, than they are "bye bye."  For example, Nur and TT will both say to me, "Baba bye bye?" If T is at work.  It's one of their first sentences.  And I'll say, yes, Baba is bye bye. 

It just feels good that the therapy is really helping Nur and that he is gaining the confidence to try new words.  I love it. :)

And I really need to take more pictures as I haven't in a while, but here is a recent one I have taken. 

Parenting FAIL

I'm a fairly patient person.  In fact, I rarely lose my cool with people, especially my kids.  And although I'm pretty normal and sometimes wish my patience was in more abundance, it's for the most part, pretty good.

Fast forward to yesterday morning.  The kids and I were playing in our lower level and watching Sesame Street.  (Or I should say Sesame Street was on in the background)  We were having a fun morning, and easing into our day.  It was time to go upstairs, and Nur started crawling up, and TT was playing around with the TV.  She wasn't listening to me, so I grabbed her by the wrist to redirect her, and in hindsight, I probably did pull her a bit.  I wasn't losing my patience with her or anything, I was just trying to bring her upstairs with me.

We get upstairs, and she starts whining a bit and holding her wrist.  Oh my gosh! I completely freaked out at the thought that I had just physically harmed my child.  Did I grab her too roughly?  Did her wrist accidently get twisted?  TT then calmed down but she was holding her left arm in a weird way, and only putting a puzzle together with her right arm.  T came into the room and asked if I was okay because I looked sick to my stomach.  And I was!  TT appeared hurt, and I would NEVER EVER EVER harm my children.  I started sobbing and said that I think I hurt TT's wrist. I felt ill over the fact that something I did would hurt my children.  I thought I was going to throw up, and to make matters worse, TT held her wrist and said, "Owie."

T bent her wrist around delicately and it seemed to be fine.  And about 30 minutes later, TT jumped off my lap, started playing and using her arm like she always did and acted like nothing had ever happened. 

I thanked God over and over again, but spent the entire day beating myself up, and am still beating myself off.  I have never lost my patience with TT.  Ever.  And I didn't this day either.  I seriously just held on to her to bring her upstairs with me.  I would never intentionally harm them. . . even on my worst parenting day. 

I feel this strong responsiblity to protect my children and the fact that I did something that physically hurt TT kills me.  I know it was an accident.  T told me that, and my Mom when I called her crying later.  But I still feel sick about it. . . even though she is 100% fine. 

I have to admit that I had an emotionally irrational day yesterday.  Even though TT was fine, I still felt sick about it.  And then I thought about all of the kids who are abused in this world, and then I got even more sad.  There are helpless children out there who are being hurt and it breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart that even though I wasn't trying to hurt TT, that she felt pain from one of my actions. 

Sad, hard, parenting day. 

\

The Endocrinologist Appointment

Where we are doctoring currently (The University of MN) every appointment has been in the same hospital location.  So, yesterday's appointment was very near where her previous appointments were. . . including the dreaded biopsy appointment.  So needless to say, TT FREAKED out upon arrival.  The nurse even asked if she had had a recent procedure.  Umm. . . yes, she had.

The nice doctor then walked in.  She is actually a Fellow.  She asked a ton of questions.  Really good questions.  She said that in her opinion, Dermatology had already done the exact same tests that she would have done, and she made it seem like a lot of the big stuff can be ruled out by the bloodwork alone.  But, she said that doesn't really leave us with an answer.  She asked if we minded if she went and consulted with a higher up and of course I didn't mind.  TT and I played My Little Ponies and sang songs.  About 20 minutes later, this nice Fellow came in with another doctor.  Turns out they had been looking up cases for the past 20 minutes of past incidences.  And they could not find ONE case where a 1 year old was diagnosed with androgenetic alopecia.  Not ONE. 

So, we left the appointment with this nice Fellow wanting to do additional bloodwork.  She wanted to check TT's electrolyte levels, prolactin, another TSH, and a few others.  I mad the executive decision at that point to ask if she could just write up the lap request, and I could bring it down to the Mayo Clinic with me when I'm there next week.  Afterall, TT has been a bit traumatized as of late, and having her blood drawn would not help her to feel more positively about this place.  And because we are going to Mayo anyway, I figured why not just hold off and get all the needed bloodwork at one time.  The Fellow agreed and we were on our way. . . no where closer to knowing why my 1 year old lost a lot of her hair.

I was impressed with the Fellow we saw however.  She had read up on TT and really done her research before we showed up.  That means a lot to me.  And now I'm even more impressed with her.  I was sitting at work today and my phone rang.  I knew it was a UofM number, and figured it was a nurse or scheduler.  Nope.  It was the Fellow herself!  She told me she had been thinking a lot about TT and had done even more research in the past 24 hours, and TT's diagnosis at her age is troubling to her.  In all the research she had done in the past 24 hours, the youngest person she could find with a similar diagnosis was a 6 year old boy.  However, the Fellow said this boy had a huge family history of androgenetic alopecia.  We do not have this history in our family. . . at all.  T has a full head of hair, as does his dad, as does my dad, as do my brothers, etc, etc, etc.  The fellow said it occurred to her that she wants one more test done at Mayo.  She wants them to check her vitamin D levels to see if she has a resistance to that vitamin.  She said it's a long shot, but she really wants it checked.  DONE. 

She also told me that she is happy I'm going to Mayo and that no one in the medical field takes 2nd opinions as a bad thing.  She said that even though we are going to Mayo, she would love the results of all the bloodwork they do, because this is very interesting to her and she is intrigued. 

She then also said that she wanted to read the pathology report from TT's biopsy to me.  Basically, it noted that there is still a chance that it's something else, and perhaps a repeat biopsy would be needed to gain more tissue samples. 

Anyway, this nice Fellow and I spoke for over 10 minutes (that's forever for a doctor. .  trust me) and I got off the phone call feeling great about who we saw.  Being a fellow, she is looking to get hired somewhere after fellowship.  She is working hard on our case, and it's obvious, and it's so appreciated by this mama.  She is leaving no stone unturned, and between her, and going to Mayo on February 10th (a week from today) I'm feeling good that we are going to figure this out.  And perhaps this nice fellow will end up writing up a case study on TT because this is such a unique situation.

Has anyone ever seen Mystery Diagnosis?  I feel like I'm living it right now!  And although we still don't know what's going on with TT, I have an endocrinologist very uncomfortable with her diagnosis, and a doctor at Mayo, who I bet also shares that opinion.

Thanks for those who have been keeping TT in your thoughts and prayers.  It means the world to me and to my family.