Most days, I'm at peace with my family's arrangement. We have a nanny that comes for 8 hours a day. Meaning, I leave for work around 6:45am, T stays at our house until 8am when the nanny arrives. Then I get home everyday around 3:45pm. For one, having this arrangement means we are paying less for our nanny instead of having her come for a full work day. (A full work day usually involves 8 hours of work and a 1 hour lunch) And this arrangement affords me the opportunity to be home in the daylight, play with the kids, be able to feed them dinner, and then play with them some more. Although it's sad to be away from them, I'm forever grateful that I don't have a job that involves me walking in the door later than 5pm. Yes, we've been very lucky.
But lately, it feels like everything is changing. I recently got a promotion at work that involves me chairing a board. It's a visible position, and a position that involves a lot more work than before. When I walk out the door at 3:30pm everyday, I know in the back of my mind that I really good stay for 2+ more hours to complete the work. T's job is also gaining a lot more responsibility. He's being pulled in a lot of directions at work and most mornings, you can find us negotiating who gets to go in early that day. (I usually win)
I'm forever grateful for our employment. I work for a wonderful company, I like what I do, I work with great people, and in these economic times, I'm just grateful to be employed. . . period! I went back to school to get a Master's Degree. . . why does one do that if they don't want to move up in their company? In my defense, when I went back to school, I didn't know what juggling a family looked like. I was a married woman in my mid 20's who saw the sky as the limit.
But now I do have kids. I do have a Nur. And a TT. And more than anything in this world, I want time with them.
This morning TT got up at 4:45am, and I got to spend some time with her. Then Nur and T got up, and T asked if he could go into work early. I felt bad saying no, but I told him that I really needed to go in early today. We then discussed asking our nanny if she was available for additional hours each day. I don't want to be gone any more than I already am, but times are changing.
I'm not sure what the future will bring for our family, but I do see that things could potentially get more complicated with the juggling act.
8 comments:
No words of wisdom here, just letting you know I'm thinking of you and wil pray for peace with your decisions! Parenting is hard, it is, the best hardest thing ever, but the guilt involved is mind-numbing sometimes!
Parenting seems to be a constant pull and tug especially with work but I know yall will find the best solution for you!
I can't even imagine what it would be like to juggle work and kids. I hope you find the right balance for your family!
Leah, I completely understand the pull and the juggling. I've been told before that kids don't necessarily remember the time without you; they remember the times you are with them. So I guess make it good, quality time (as you do), and they will continue to enjoy the time with you - even it if is sometimes limited. Heather
It's so Incredibly hard to juggle and balance everything. But it sounds like you're doing fantastic! It certainly makes you prioritize and you have to be willing to accept that some things won't be perfect, and that's ok.
It's hard.
For many, many, many reasons I've cut back on my work hours in order to spend more time with my daughter and allow my husband to advance significantly in his own career. It sounds very patriarchal, which I'm not fond of, but the truth is that he LOVES his job and has many opportunities and I don't love my job and have less opportunities. I just makes sense for us for right now.
Good luck with your decision, I know it's not easy!
Congrats on your promotion!!! It seems like you should be able to put "juggling life with 2 kids" on your resume! :) I admire you for all that you are able to accomplish in a day. It sounds like you guys are doing a really good job keeping all your balls in the air!
Wow - How difficult! You are blessed to have a nanny who comes to your house. I am sure she loves your kids very much and does a great job!
But I understand the desire to want more time with your kids. Believe me it goes fast! My oldest child is 19 and it seems like yesterday that he was a toddler. Continue to make your time with them count.
It sounds like with both of the demanding jobs that your husband and you have - you might have to make the difficult choice of having the nanny longer hours.
My advice - take meaningful vacations together. My kids remember all the vacations as such special times. We made sure we took at least 3-4 weeks off every year and did wonderful vacations. They don't need to be expensive, just memorable!
Best to you with juggling all you have!
from - someone who has been there ( and by the way my kids are happy well adjusted human beings!! )
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