One of THOSE Days

Yesterday, Nur had a post op visit with his ENT doctor to make sure everything was healing nicely from surgery.  We had no nanny yesterday, so I thought I would be brave and bring both babes to the doctor.  I knew it could be a disaster.  Oh, I knew.  But I went anyway, feeling very confident in my parenting abilities to keep peace.

I loaded the kids in the double stroller, took the elevator up to pediatric ENT, walked up to the receptionist to check in, and that is when disaster struck!  I mean STRUCK!  Nur threw an absolute tantrum when I stopped the stroller to check in.  Now, he has been throwing tantrums quite a bit, and T and I really address his tantrums with him.  We get at eye level and tell him no, and then we tell him he will get a time out if he is still acting like this by the time we count to 3.  Then we count to 3, and by 2, he settles down.  I want to add that we only do this if his tantrum seems to be for no reason. . . which these days, seems to be the case. 

So, there I am, in the waiting room full of people, with Nur screaming and everyone staring at me.  It's so odd to me that other parents seem to be so judgmental.  Why is that?  Are you so lucky that your children don't have tantrums?  If you are so lucky. . . I am jealous!  I tried to comfort him and finally after the longest minute of my life, he calmed down.  Maybe this isn't an appropriate feeling, but I felt angry.  He needs to stop this behavior.  It's gross! It makes my blood pressure rise, and it's just SO unnecessary. Does anyone else's blood boil in the middle of your child's tantrums?  Oh my! I thought this particular tantrum would send me into tachy!

The kids played well in the waiting room and then we were called back to our room. Our appointment was at 2:45, and by 3:30, we were still waiting. . . and waiting. . . and waiting.  At this point, I'm over it all.  I'm stressed, and I keep visualizing that sign at the receptionist's desk that says if anyone is more than 15 minutes late for their appointment, that thye have the right to cancel.  Yet the doctors at this huge medical facility can't seem to show up on time.  Ever.

I had had enough.  I loaded the kids into the stroller, and high-tailed it out of the ENT office.  My time is too precious for this.  I'm a working professional who took time off work so I could have my child to the doctor on time.

I called the office when I got home and told them why I left, and told them that I better not get billed for this appointment, and the scheduler I spoke to said I WOULD be billed because I took up a doctor's time slot.  Oh heck no!!!  I asked to be transfered to the office manager, and I left a detailed message about how my time is JUST as important as the doctor's, and I expect the same level of respect.  I also explained that they work in Pediatrics, and it's just WRONG to expect us to wait with a child (let alone two children) in one of those small exam rooms for 45 minutes.  And who knows how long I would have been waiting before I decided to just leave.

So, it was one of those days.  I felt on the verge of a complete meltdown.  I felt overwhelmed and defeated. Boo.  I hate days like that. On the positive side, I met a fellow blogger who reads my blog, Fawnda.  It is always so nice to meet someone from the blogging community, and I apologize for the total disaster that my son was yesterday.  Seriously. . . He's usually so sweet. :)

And because this post is completely negative and whining (sorry, had to vent) I thought I would post a few cute pics.  That makes up for it, right? Almost?

Brother and Sister

Brother of mine
I know sometimes I may whine
But deep down I really find you somewhat divine

You are smarter than you think.
Smarter than me – in some ways
Wiser than you know -

You have experienced pains and joys
Some twice your age have never seen
Because of all of this you are three times the man

Brother of mine
I could be no prouder
I could love you no more
I will always be here for you.
No matter what occurs -
No matter what is said or done
I will never be too far away
No matter the distance
You’ll always be in my heart

Our Schedule

What a difference 10 months make! 

Whenever I go back and forth about whether to continue blogging, I read my old posts, and am so glad these posts exist.  Without them, I don't think I could fully appreciate where I am today with my family.  In the haze of adding two children to the mix, I forgot many of the hard details of our day to day existence.

Again, what a difference 10 months make!  Last October, when Nur had only been home for a few days, I wrote a post called Crazy Days.  I hadn't read this post since I wrote it, but read it this morning, and am so thankful that we survived those days, and that brighter days have been upon us.  I was exhausted reading this post.  It immediately brought me back to those days, and yes, I loved my kiddos when they were 10 months old and 3 months old, but my state of mind is in a better place today.  I don't know how we survived that.

Today, the schedule in our home looks very different than 10 months ago.  Today, our schedule looks more like this.

6:30am - Both kids start stirring in their cribs.  As they stir and play in their crib, I get both of their breakfasts ready.  Nur eats oatmeal and fruit, and sometimes toast, TT likes toast, and yogurt with fruit cut up in it.  After I prepare that, I go into the kids' bedrooms, snuggle, change diapers, and bring them both into the kitchen for breakfast.  (TT is becoming more consistent with her wake up time, but don't let me fool you, some mornings she decides to grace us with her presence at 4:30am)
7:00am - After breakfast, I like to take the kiddos on a walk.  I'm trying to get healthy, the kids love being outdoors, so it's a win/win situation.  And, I am always trying to take advantage of the nice weather we have in MN, while we have it.  Come December and January, we will be inside 24/7.
8:00am - When we return from our walk, we play and listen to music.  Currently, we are working on shapes, and animal sounds, and vocabulary.  The kids play together, I sit there, I also play and interact with them, they watch cars and buses go by, they harrass the cat, etc, etc, etc.
9:00am - Snack time.  TT's favorite snack is strawberries.  Nur's favorite snack is Annie's Organic Graham bunnies.  I try to push the fruit with him, but he's not as interested.  When they have their snack, I turn the laptop to you.tube and they watch children's music videos. This is also my chance to pick up the kitchen a bit while they sit in their chairs.
9:30am - More play time.  We usually go outside and play, go to the park, on weekends go to their activities, and things of that nature.
11:00am - Lunch time. 
11:30am - Start getting the kids ready for naptime, read a couple books to wind them down.
11:30-noon - Start their naps.  Nur goes down by being read to and then sung to, and then I put him in his crib.  He may stand and play for a couple minutes, and then he goes right to sleep.  TT goes down by singing the very same song every time.  I sing this to her.  My mom also sang this to me.  TT may also may play for a few minutes in her crib, and then she passes out. 
Noon - While the kids sleep I clean.  I do basic toy picking up, I also try to do a load of laundry every day.  I sweep, swift, scrub the floor, etc. 
2:30pm - Normal wake up time.  This obviously varies. 
3:00pm - Snack time.  Fruit and peanut butter toast.
3:30pm - Play time.
5:00pm - Dinner Time. T feeds a child, I feed a child.  Sometimes T and I will also eat, although I feel like lately he and I just don't eat.  Hmm. . .
5:30pm - Play.  We'll a lot of times go outside at this point and play in the backyard, or walk to the park.
7pm - Bath time.
7:30pm - Time for bed! The kiddos generally go down so easily.  We read to them, sing to them, and they go right down.

The rest of the evening, T and I usually watch a show, fold laundry, pick up a little, etc.  Lately, we are in to the shows, Entourage, Mad Men, Sparticus, and Dexter.  And I did a schedule when I was home alone with them.  Obviously on weekends I have help from T. 

So, this is our typical day.  Sure, we have drama in the middle of those days at times.  And sometimes our schedules get a little off.  But this is it for the most part.  MUCH easier than last October. 

I'm so grateful to have our kiddos on the same schedule. I'm so grateful that easier days are upon us.  I know hard days will happen again, but today, I'm so grateful for TODAY. 

These Kids of Mine

These kids of mine are growing up so fast!  It's really crazy, so I thought I would do a post dedicated just to them.

Nur

Nur turned 20 months old on August 3rd.  How did he get so old, and how did it happen so fast?  Oh my!  Nur is doing really well!  He continues to heal from his adenoid surgery, and his nose is almost 100% healed.  Poor guy.  It was not an easy surgery, and I'm just so proud of him for being able to endure it.  Ever since surgery he's been practicing breathing through his nose.  I don't think he was every able to before. Eating has become so much easier because he can breathe through his nose while he eats.  Remarkable!

Nur is so inquisitive.  He can always be found pointing to one thing or another.  He still doesn't really have words, so a lot of our days are spent with him pointing, and saying, "ahh?"  And then me identifying the object he is speaking of.

Physically, Nur is right where he should be.  He spends his days running and jumping. And his newest favorite thing is to dance.  He is quite the dancer!  Usually he just dances with his hands, but T recently taught him a knee bend, and it's the cutest thing.  He dances to everything!  The other day, I started singing the ABC's and instead of singing along, Nur danced along.  He's so goofy!  And last night we had a Beatles jam session, and Nur was dancing in the kitchen and it was adorable. 

Nur would spend his entire day outside if we let him.  He LOVES the outdoors and can often be found at the door, pointing to go outside.

Nur is also becoming Mr. Independent.  He likes to lead.  He likes to walk around on his own and he loves exploring new territory.  Of course, this nervous mama is always about 2 steps behind him. 

Nur continues to be a wonderful big brother.  Just recently he started putting TT's pacifier in her mouth when it falls out.  He also gives her hugs and kisses when she is sad.  And when she throws her tantrums (which you can read about later in this post) he'll just stare at her, then stare at me, as if to say, "What is wrong with her?"

Nur is a great eater, and he's starting to feed himself more foods.  He continues to love oatmeal, he loves soup, yogurt, spaghetti and mac-n-cheese.  When he really likes something we feed him, he says, "mmmmm." 

Nur also has the best giggle ever.  He has such a great sense of humor, he loves to be tickled, and he loves to play rough with his baba. 

Nur is so good natured, and I'm so blessed to be his mama. 

 
TT

TT turned 1 on July 6th, and holy crap, she is already 13 months old. 

In the past month, TT has taken off!  Right after she turned 1, she decided she was done crawling for good, and became a walker overnight.  Now she walks and runs, always trying to keep up with her brother of hers.

For her birthday, I took the day off of work (I vowed never to work on the day of their birthdays) and I took both kids to the local zoo.  They LOVED it!

TT is also becoming very vocal.  She can sing her ABC's.  Granted, it songs like, "Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah," but she can imitate my voice inflections. 

TT has become a pretty good sleeper.  As soon as she turned 12 months, I got rid of her bottle.  I thought she'd scream, but she didn't mind at all.  Now I read to her before bed, sing her a song, kiss her and lay her in her crib, and she's out.  I'm amazed that for the most part I have two children who are such good sleepers! 

TT has also become a really good eater.  She always hated baby food, so she eats everything we eat, just in small, cut up portions.  Her favorite is hummus on pita bread.  She LOVES it.  She also loves peanut butter toast, vanilla yogurt, cheese sticks, cereal and of course sugar free chocolate pudding for special occassions.

I've always heard about the terrible 2's, but I must say that they can come much earlier than 2.  TT is officially going through them.  She can throw quite the tantrums.  T and I sit there and try not to laugh as she is flopping her body all over the floor, throwing her pacifier clear across the room, etc.  Most of the tantrums are caused by not getting what she wants.  She usually wants my cell phone, but after she called 911 a couple weeks ago, no cell phone for TT! For the most part, TT is sweet, and loves to give hugs and the best opened mouthed kiss ever! ;)

TT also loves going outside.  The other day, she brought me one of her shoes, and then walked away.  30 seconds later, she brought me her other shoe.  So, I put them on her feet.  Then she brought me one of my shoes, and 30 secods later, she brought me my other shoe.  I put them on.  Then she walks to the front door and starts pounding on it.  Okay, okay, I get it!  Smart girl. :)  She also is constantly bringing me hats.  She LOVES to wear hats. 

So, this is an update on these kids of mine.  They are both doing great and are a lot of fun.  Oh sure, there are hard days too, but these children are so loved and everyday I'm feeling more confident in my ability to do this. 

And a video of some things we've done this summer. 

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Struggles as a Parent

Mornings like today get my mind going.  Okay, let's be honest, my mind is always going but today, it's REALLY going!  This post is going to be two-fold as there are two important things on my mind this morning. Or perhaps I'll be ALL over the place.  That is possible too.

I've been a Mom for over a year, but I'm still second guessing myself.  And, having two children who are so close in age, when one is biological and one is not is causing some confusion in my Mama brain. 

You see, TT, I know TT.  I feel like I parent her well.  I feel like I know what her cries mean. I know when they are serious cries and I know when they are I just want to get my way cries.  When I give her a timeout, I know it's deserved and I know I'm not harming her by giving her a bit if discipline. . . in fact, by giving her discipline, I believe I'm helping her.

And then there is Nur.  I've physically been his parent for 10 months now.  I should feel more comfortable than I do, but so much about him remains an anomaly. When he cries, I don't always recognize if he's scared, just tired, just being a toddler, or perhaps just trying to get his way.  I will give him a timeout just like I would TT, yet with him, I feel guilty.  Is he acting out because he's experienced so much loss in his life? Does he feel insecure because of all he's been through?  I SIMPLY NEVER KNOW WITH Nur.

Let's talk about my morning with Nur.  He woke up at around 6am, which is the normal wakeup time for Nur.  As always, I changed his diaper and put him in his high chair.  As always, I gave him a sippy full of milk, and as always, I prepared oatmeal. . . today's flavor being cinnamon and raisins.  After his bowl (which by the way was an adult sized portion) was done, I signaled all done to Nur and he FREAKED out.  I mean freaked out. Tantrum.  So, I then tried to offer him a bowl of yogurt I also had sitting there, but he wanted nothing to do with it.  I tried to offer him the peanut butter toast on his tray.  Not interested.  Nur proceeded to scream. And scream.  AND SCREAM.  I cleaned him up and put him down.  Screamed.  T came and took him to try to help.  Screamed.  T then took Nur into his bedroom to try to calm him down.  And he did calm down.  Until T brought him back out to the kitchen where I was standing, and then he screamed some more.  I'd like to say this morning is a rare occurance, but it's not.  This doesn't happen everyday, but enough to really frazzle my nerves.

I don't know what to do.  Do I follow the expert advice to just ignore a tantrum and not pay it any attention? Do I treat Nur differently because he's adopted and this could be a deeper issue and mourning happening within him?  Do I write this off as Nur still healing from surgery? I don't know what to do.  And these "episodes" with Nur can happen several times a day.  And I can't for the life of me figure out why he's acting like that? Why he screams as if he's being tortured.  I simply don't get it. 

And that second topic I wanted to discuss?  Well, I'm officially too exhausted to even touch that one today.

All Over The Place

Nur had surgery on Friday to remove his adenoids.  His surgery was at a brand new Children's Hospital in Minneapolis, and let me tell you, they know what they are doing at this hospital.  I was nervous about the surgery.  I know adenoid removal is a minor surgery, but my boy was having surgery, being put under anesthesia, being intubated, and I was nervous! They let me carry him to the Operating Room and lay him on the table and hold his hand and talk to him while they administered gas.  Then they escorted me out of the room.  The surgery went great, and according to his surgeon, the surgery was completely necessary and a lot of tissue was removed.  Nur spent the weekend recovering and already has that sparkle back in his eye.  I cannot even tell you how brave this boy of mine is.  He is so brave and such a trooper.

Yesterday our family received some awesome hand me down toys from a family member.  One of the toys is this big princess vanity set that TT absolutely loves.  I didn't know where to put it, but decided to put it in her room.  T mentioned that he wished TT had a bigger room.  (TT's bedroom is our former office, and isn't the biggest space in the world, that's for sure)  For a moment, I also wished TT had a bigger room.  Then I mentioned to T that while in Ethiopia, I met a family of 6 who lived in a hut together, along with their animals, which included a cow.  And it was a small hut.  And this family was happy.  I got on my "soap box" a bit, and mentioned that our children have their own rooms.  A room of THEIR own.  They have closets full of clothes, shelves full of books, and so many toys it's ridiculous.  We are blessed!  Yes, sometimes we feel like we need MORE MORE MORE.  But we have SO much.  What is our obsession with things?  Haven't we learned yet that happiness does not come from possesions?  I want to learn to live more simply.  I want to teach my children to be grateful.  T and I though on these things for a long time, and we both realize that our kids' rooms needn't be bigger. 

My daughter turned 1 and also turned into a firecracker!  (Oh, and now she's already 13 months. WOW!)  She is going through a naughty stage.  Oh, how I hope this stage ends SOON.  Last week, she had one particular bad day.  She woke up from her nap crappy, and when I tried to give her a sippy cup, she threw it on the ground.  She wasn't sure I noticed, so when I was looking, she picked it back up, and threw it again.  Oy vey!  Then she hit her brother, and went into a timeout.  Then she hit me, and went into another timeout. Then she called 911, which I wouldn't have known except the nice 911 officer called me back to make sure everything was okay.  Is this teething? A growth spurt? Just a bad day.  Well, I love this little firecracker of mine.  She's got personality, that's for sure. Oh, and she insists on wearing scarfs and hats.  Who is this girl???  She brings me a hat almost everyday and insists on wearing it. 

I leave you with some random pictures of our summer.  We are having an amazing summer and I'm enjoying every moment of these kids of mine.  Even the naughty moments.

Hope everyone is having an awesome summer!!!