Nur has been home a week now, and we continue to adjust day by day. I'd like to think we are settling into a routine, but that may sound a bit too optimistic. I guess we do have a daily routine, it just changes every day.
Right now, our days look a lot like this:
1:00am - Nur wakes up crying. He is sleeping in our bed, so we just rub his belly and he goes back to sleep.
3:00am - I hear TT through the baby monitor. I go in her room and get her, make her a bottle and go downstairs and feed her with the TV on.
4:30am - TT finally starts falling back asleep after eating, so I put her in her crib.
5:00am - Nur wakes up crying and is given a bottle.
5:30am - Nur falls back asleep
6:00am - I hear TT through the baby monitor. I give her a bottle and she is up for the day.
7:00am - Nur is up for the day.
7:30am - Nur eats breakfast.
8:00am - Kids play together on the floor.
9:00am - TT starts melting. She gets a bottle and is held until she falls asleep.
9:30am - Nur starts melting. Gets a bottle and is held until he falls asleep.
10:00am - TT wakes up crying. Must put Nur down, so he is up too because he will only sleep when held.
11:00am - Nur eats lunch
12:00pm - TT has a bottle
1:00pm - Both kids start melting. T takes one, I take one, and we try to have nap time.
3:00pm - Play time on the floor again.
4:30pm - Both kids are hungry and eat.
5:00pm - Bath time because between the two kids, we've changed about 10 poopy diapers this day, and gone through about 5 outfits each. We bath one, while the other sits in the baby jumper and watches.
6:30pm - Both kids get a bottle and we try getting them to bed. TT usually goes down quite easily, and by 7 to 7:30, she is put in her crib in her bedroom.
7:00pm - Nur is refusing sleep. At about 9:30pm, he gives up and stops screaming and crying and passes out. T puts Nur in his crib.
10:00pm - Nur wakes up crying and wants nothing to do with his crib. T gets him and puts him in our bed with us.
11:00pm - Nur wakes up crying. We rub his belly and he goes back to sleep.
Then the next day begins, and our day starts again, similar routine. T and I still haven't found time to eat, and most days, at about 6pm, we realize we haven't eaten yet for the day. I always do manage to have many Mt. Dew's though. I tell the kiddos it's Mama's drugs. :)
I have so many different thoughts throughout the day too.
I think:
"What were we thinking! This is too much!"
"I hope T doesn't shower today. That means I'll be alone with both kids for 10 minutes!"
"We can do this. We ARE doing this."
"Are both kids getting enough of my attention?"
"We are SO blessed."
"My children are beautiful blessings."
"Oh my gosh! I don't know if I want to cry or pass out."
"How do single people do this?"
"How can such cute kids produce so many bodily fluids?"
"This will get better. They won't be this needy forever."
"How will I get up and get ready in the morning when I have to go back to work?"
"I wish I could stay home with my kids."
"This is all SO worth it."
I just let you into the mind of a total manic. And I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining. I am beyond blessed and not a day goes by that I don't realize that. But I'm also not going to lie. This is beyond hard. But worth it. And I know it.
And some pictures. :)
24 comments:
You do not sound like you are complaining AT ALL! Truthfully that does sound very difficult and I can imagine it feels pretty overwhelming sometimes (maybe most of the time right now!!). I think you are doing an amazing job and one day you will be looking back on this season and realize you survived it! Keep taking it one day at a time and don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing great and you obviously love them both so much :). You have a beautiful family!
I love your honesty- praying for you as you get used to the days with two babies! You can do this :) I love the pictures!
Oh Leah the pictures are absolutely adorable and I love, love, LOVE the photo of your new family of four! No worries, a routine will be in place soon and both kiddos will adjust. You're such a great mommy and one day you'll look back and be amazed at how you made it through these hectic weeks when both of your babies were so little, required so much of your time and attention. All the while Khalil and Scarlett will be the best of friends and they will BOTH know that they have a great family with two of the most wonderful, fun and loving parents.
I totally get what you're trying to say, I'm a single mom, but only with one baby. My favourite time of the day is when she falls asleep at night. But then I miss her like crazy and check up every now and then even though I have a monitor.
All the best, your children are really so gorgeous!
Wow, I don't know how you do it all. You are doing a fantastic job!
The pictures are sooo cute!
I knew it was going to be difficult, but WOW. I'm exhausted just reading it! I imagine it will only get easier. The worst part will be the anticipation of T going back to work...once he does you'll find a groove pretty quick and it won't be bad.
My kids are definitely not that close together (14 months) but I can tell you that both of us STILL freak out when we have to be alone with just the two of them. Something about being outnumbered by children. But, you know, when it happens it's always fine! As the little one is more independent and the older one gets more helpful with his brother, I'm finding every single say easier and easier.
It's a crazy time! Not for the faint of heart, for sure. Just remember to laugh...sometimes that's all you can do! (
P.S. - they both look healthy and happy so you're doing something right!)
Wow, I am impressed that put this blog post together without any typos!!! :) Thinking of you!! I am sure you are doing a much a better job than you give yourself credit for. Both kids look happy! XOXOXO
Great post. I can only begin to imagine what your days are like, but it will get easier. In a few weeks you'll be surprised at what a pro you are, then every so often it'll get crazy again when things change, but then you'll get the hang of it anew. Take care of yourself!
Leah,
I think anyone walking in your shoes would agree that your hands are full! The adjustment is hard and we all understand how crazy things are. Wildly exhausting, but encompassed by love :)
Just this weekend I was talking with my friend Cat (who adopted Anna at 5 months) and refered to your story and said Khalil was having some adjustment difficulties and asked if they experinced the same. He husband said "yes" and she said "definately". They said it was very hard, but over time she adjusted and things plateaued, became blissful and chaotic with 3 children :) Just wanted to share.
Hang in there Mama! You are an awesome mama even if you are an exhausted mama :)
Sending you HUGS, prayers and a peaceful nights sleep....and 10 minutes of "me" time. Lock the bathroom door and take a hot bath! LOL
Love the pic's :)
I always LOVE the honesty in your posts, and it's just that honesty, for which we all love you! That sounds like a crazy day and it will be that crazy for a while, and then you will get into a routine most days and life will calm down some. Those pics made me tear up as they are absolutely so precious I can hardly put into words how inspiring they are!!!
**This is an extraneous therapist thought, you may try a weighted blanket with Kahlil in his bed. Sometimes with babies who have had less stimulation they need that extra pressure, it's part of their sensory development that is making it harder for them to self soothe, calm, and sleep. This is just a thought, but I know it can be helpful. You can order them online, or make your own, or see if someone can help you get one, they are pricey usually (anything therapy related is ridiculous!!).**
I'm going to have to stop reading your blog...it makes me cry every time! You guys are AMAZING! Those kiddos are so cute, you can already tell they are going to be best buds! :)
You don't sound complainy at all...you are a mom to TWO infants who has moments of frustration and anxiety like anyone with such a challenge...but in the end you know if your heart that life is good and one day they won't be as needy...you may actually get to shower daily someday in the future ;-)
It does NOT sound like complaining! I know one kiddo is going to be overwhelming, I can't imagine two new kiddos at once! You do 5 million things before noon!!! I can tell that you guys are doing much better than you probably think you are! The pics are great :-)
You do not sound like you are complaining! I thought I was going to loose my mind the first month home, and my boys were at least were on the same schedule. The sleep deprivation is crazy hard. It's going to get easier, Leah. You are doing great, hang in there! What a beautiful, beaufiful family!
Your not complaining at all. To be honest I was tired just reading half of your post. I can't imagine how tired you must feel!!! The pictures are adorable. Keep up the good work Mama!
Wow, you are definitely superwoman. But remember, what you are dealing with is way beyond what most any mommy has to handle. So it's ok to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, tired, even depressed. You'd have to be a robot to not have those feelings. It really sounds like you are handling it all so well. And I really do think each week will get progressively better. Hang in there.
I have no doubt you will find the "groove" it must be your own groove but you will find it. My Twins are 8 months old now, and I'm just getting my groove down. The kids aren't spotless sometimes they still have breakfast, lunch and dinner on their cloths at bath time, but.. they are happy. Well as happy as Teething babies can be =)
This is your zombie time. We parents that learn 2 babies at once all go through this stage. I had a mother of twin Teenagers approach me a few months ago, she laid her hand on my shoulder and said, When you are rocking them on the floor to sleep or napping with them on the floor, It's ok if one rolls out of your arms because you fell asleep. She then walked away, and I knew exactly what she was saying. It felt so good that another mother understood what I was going through. She knew exactly how I felt. Leah I want to be the woman that put my hand on your shoulder virtually and says to you, It's ok Leah if one of your babies are crying and you need to tend to the other one first. It's just "OK!"
Wow, you must be exhausted! This initial transition must be difficult, but it will get better over time. Hang in there. No, you do not sound like you are complaining....it is just the reality of taking care of two infants who want and need lots of attention. Things will get better. Heather
Hang in there girl! It's going to get better. Thank God for Mt. Dew:)
Oh my. That is a heck of a day. Hang in there.
First off- just because you are blessed doesnt mean it isnt hard. Trust me, hard days are par for the course... But the good days beat them down and make them so worth it. Today was a bad day in our house and, now that it is quiet and the babies are sleeping, I'm just reminding myself that "tomorrow WILL be better". You are doing a great job. Just keep your spirit!
Love the pictures and the honesty! Thanks so much again for sharing! Hope things will settle down a bit soon and I think you are doing a great job!
I want to be kind enough to get my comment published, so i will start by assuming with surety that you mean no harm by calling your kids "monkeys." I am not adopted. My parents who raised me were of Eastern European Jewish ancestry. My dad had classic satirical Jewish "humor" which is basically teasing, the subtleties of which were totally lost on me and destroyed my self-esteem.
I urge you and all who read here to read the writings of the many articulate and outspoken adults who were adopted internationally and inter-racially, such as Jane Jeong Trenka.
There are also a couple of good documentaries films and videos that speak to the experience of growing up a different race than your family.
Those who adopt inter-racially ignore the differences - calling themselves "color blind." This is actually ethnocentric white privilege. As members of the majority we have never experienced prejudice and thus miss the clues when our kids are beig tormented in school, bullied or teased. They often will nto tell us because they don;t know how to, or "know" we cannpot underdtand. Or they tell and get some off hand answer like: "All kids get teased." "Don't let it nother you."
Being called a monkey may seem cute and loving to you. It is likely NOT to your children - or won't be as they age! My Dad thought it was cute and loving to call me "chatter box" and other nicknames that I hated! I PRAY you re-think this insensitive practice.
A friend of mine used to use the phrase "Gotcha Day." Her kids liked it! But once she was made aware of the negative connotation; once she had her awareness raised, she stopped using it.
PLEASE, please please watch "Adopted" and see: http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2010/04/adopted-film.html
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