In one week from today, I'll be on a plane headed your way. I can't wait to meet you.
I first saw your beautiful face on May 4th, and ever since that day, I've been thinking and praying for you, and have been completely in love with you. I am so proud to call you my son.
Going through all that your Baba and I have been going through in the past year or so, it's so easy to get wrapped up in myself. How will I manage with two babies, how will you react to ME? How will I manage to be away from Scarlett? How will I manage to work and have two little babies?
Nur, I want you to know that although sometimes I do get a little self-absorbed in this process, that you are the main focus. You are the most important piece in this puzzle. And I am considering your feelings in all of this as well.
All you have known for almost your entire life, is the orphanage you live in. You have nannies that take great care of you. You are fed, clothed, and changed. And although I have loved you for the past few months, you do not know me at all. I am going to show up where you live, take you from the arms of your nanny, and cry tears of happiness that we are finally together. I am going to remove you from your orphanage, and take you on an airplane far away, across an ocean and continents. I will look different than anyone you've ever known. I will be speaking to you in a different language. I will smell different. Feel different.
All I can hope for is that you won't be scared, and that you will somehow feel the love I have for you radiating off of me. Your feelings are the most important. I will do anything in my ability to make you feel comforted. I know this is going to be hard for you. I know you are going to be scared and confused.
Through this adoption, I have learned that adoption isn't about me and your Baba at all. This is about you. This is all about your story. I hope you learn very quickly that I am someone you can trust. I will love you forever.
12 comments:
Awwww don't make me cry! I'm at work! xxx
Such a sweet letter to your son! So excited for you both!
Oh Leah...well, there go the flood gates :) Such a sweet, sweet letter from a mother to her baby. One day Khalil will read this and know just how much you loved him...even before you met him. Beautiful.
Thinking of you and praying for your family.
xxx
Soon he will be home with you. I am excited for you.
Such a sweet letter. I just read your last post too and just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I know a lot of moms express those feelings when they are getting ready to add a second sibling to the family. And this is happening for you much faster than it does in most cases. So I think everything you are feeling is normal although I know that it doesn't make it easier. You and Taher are such a good team and have a strong support network so I know you will pull through. Maybe it would be wise to share that post with your agency.
Sending you lots and lots of HUGS!! I am getting so excited for you! Much Love, Emily
So so sweet. I am so happy for you-- you've had your ups and lots of downs in this journey, but you have stayed so positive for T and Khalil and Scarlett. You are going to manage and do wonderfully and Khalil will only know love and happiness from now on. :) I can't wait to see your family of 4 grow together. xo
This made me tear up. You're so sweet Leah, I am SO excited to follow this next part of your journey!!
What a beautiful letter to your son. It sounds like you are prepared and are going to be a great mother to two beautiful children!
Absolutely beautiful!!! Your children are so blessed!
Leah, if I could say just one thing to you about this whole process it would be to give yourself grace.
You are an amazing, wonderful, loving, gentle, caring mother and woman. This will be tough at first, but please give yourself the grace to realize you are doing all that you do for your children because you love them more than anything.
Remember to be positive about yourself in the moments where you just want to beat yourself up.
These children were meant for you. God prepared them to come into your home because he knew you would love them the way no one else could, and vice versa.
Remember to give yourself grace.
I can't believe it is less than 1 week away. You must be beyond ecstatic. I'm sure you are nervous, too, but we are all thinking about you and praying for this beautiful new part of your family and that the transition will be as seamless as possible. What a lucky, blessed little boy to be joining your family so soon.
Hi Leah!
I have been reading through your entire blog. It's almost like reading my own. I had a little girl and then adopted a little boy. our emotions are so much the same. I just kind of want to hug you! I hope you're enjoying the fun (although, I'm sure it's mass chaos right now!)...Just know someone is out there thinking of you!
Much love
Heather
www.thehopefulelephant.com
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