Remember that Saturday morning class that I told you about? I wasn't feeling it? It didn't seem like a good match? Well, after 3 weeks in, I really love this class, and think it's a perfect fit!
The separating for 1 hour each class has been wonderful. T and I have been able to sit with other parents and really discuss parenting topics. I've gotten wonderful ideas on how to deal with certain situations, and my kids have really taken to being on their own for one hour. It's been great for their development. Having a nanny in our home has really reduced the amount if interactions Nur and TT have with other kids, and it's been fun to see how they are in public versus at home.
At home, Nur is a very easy going child. He loves to be right near Mama, either on my lap, or right next to me. He has a great sense of humor, and is always laughing at his little sis. He also loves to play independently, and can often be found playing with his cars and trucks, and making vehicle noises. Even when Nur plays independently, he likes to do it around other people.
At home, TT is very much the boss. She takes what she wants, even if her big bro happens to be playing with it. She is very confident and also likes to be right near Mama. Sometimes she wants to be alone for a bit, and will sit in her room by herself, and flip through books. She loves to give Nur a lot of hugs. She also loves to hug Mama and Baba, her babies, her animals, the Christmas Tree, etc.
At school on Saturday, while the parents were in one room, and the kids were in another, I snuck out of the parent discussion, and peaked through the glass window at the kids playing. They had no idea I was there, and I just watched.
TT was with 2 other kids, both older, and the teacher. The teacher was reading them a book, and TT kept hugging her. TT was then being led around the room by an older boy (He is 3 I believe) and they were holding hands and she looked so proud.
Nur was standing in the corner, alone, playing with a play kitchen. There wasn't another child within 10 feet of Nur. His back was to me, but I could see he was playing, figuring things out.
Then the kids started to line up at the door because they were going to go play in the gym. TT was the first in line. Nur was last in line.
My first reaction was that I was a little sad for Nur. He was all alone. I hope he feels comfortable with other kids. I hope I happened to just catch 2 minutes of the entire hour where he wanted a break from the other kids. I know how comfortable TT has become around people, and I hope she'll always bring her brother with her, until he is more comfortable. They will most likely be in the same grade, and I always want them to look out for each other.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
A Whole Lot of STUFF
Remember the sleep issues I've talked about. While for the past 4 days, these issues with TT and sleep have been GONE. The sleep issues had gotten to the point of ridiculous. I think they started because TT had a cold and a cough. It was easier to go in her room, grab her, and put her into bed with me. And I kind of enjoyed thte all night cuddles, and waking up with TT every day. (Poor T got put in the guestroom) But I also knew that this wasn't a habit I wanted to keep, and when her cold disapeared, it was time to break the habit. I've never belonged to a certain philosophy of sleep and children. I've used the cry it out method. . . but only to a certain extent. I've never really believed that babies should never cry, I've never been a co-sleeper, etc, so I was at a loss. Finally one night, T and I both looked at each other and said, "TT needs to sort herself out." So, I put her down after singing her our songs, I said goodnight, and she cried. T and I sat on the couch and listened, sad that she was crying, but knowing we had to let her do it for a few minutes. After about 12 minutes, TT went to sleep, and slept ALL night for the first time in 3 weeks. The next night, she cried for 2 minutes, and then passed out for 10 hours, the night after, 1 minute, and last night, NO CRYING, and she slept all night for 11.5 hours. I am enjoying this sleep!!!
***************************************
MN winters are not so fun. We've already had snow, it's already cold, and T and I decided that we needed to get the kids out of the house at least once during the weekday to go do a fun activity. So, last night, we bundled up Nur and TT and took them to a local indoor playground. It was awesome! There was a toddler area for kids 3 and under, and the kids loved it. They played in a ball cage, went down slides, climbed through tunnels, laughed, and ran, and had a really great time. I look forward to finding new activities to do weekly with our kids. Family time is fun. :)
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Look who is in a booster seat now?
Oh, he is such a big boy!!! We transitioned him last week, and he's been doing great. Nur has gotten so good at feeding himself, and it's so nice not to have his clunky highchair in the kitchen anymore. He seems to love his new seat too. :)
Here is his old seat. AKA TT's new favorite chair.
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My sister and her husband had a Holiday Party last weekend. So, I of course had to get Nur and TT all dressed up for the party. I never realized dressing kids would be such a joy to me. But everyday, I look forward to getting them dressed and deciding what they will wear. I need to enjoy this, because eventually, they may have opinions of their own.
Happy Thursday!!!
***************************************
MN winters are not so fun. We've already had snow, it's already cold, and T and I decided that we needed to get the kids out of the house at least once during the weekday to go do a fun activity. So, last night, we bundled up Nur and TT and took them to a local indoor playground. It was awesome! There was a toddler area for kids 3 and under, and the kids loved it. They played in a ball cage, went down slides, climbed through tunnels, laughed, and ran, and had a really great time. I look forward to finding new activities to do weekly with our kids. Family time is fun. :)
***************************************
Look who is in a booster seat now?
Here is his old seat. AKA TT's new favorite chair.
****************************************
My sister and her husband had a Holiday Party last weekend. So, I of course had to get Nur and TT all dressed up for the party. I never realized dressing kids would be such a joy to me. But everyday, I look forward to getting them dressed and deciding what they will wear. I need to enjoy this, because eventually, they may have opinions of their own.
Happy Thursday!!!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The Judgmental Mom
You would really think that moms would have grace with other moms. Afterall, no one knows just how hard being a mom is besides actual moms themselves. Yet moms are judging each other constantly.
I recently read a blog post titled "Right vs Wrong." The Mama blogger who wrote the post was talking about how she breastfeeds, uses cloth diapers, does a delayed vaccination schedule, etc, and how she really thinks that is the correct way to parent. If that is correct, is the way I'm doing things wrong?
I personally think we all make choices that are best for us and our families. I was a cloth diapered baby, but I have chosen disposable for my kids. And you know what? Neither one has ever had a diaper rash. Ever.
I breastfed for 3 months, then went to formula. Not by choice. The well simply dried up.
I vaccinate. . . when my doctor tells me I should. I did research, and for me, vaccinating was the way to go.
Sometimes I let my kids watch You Tube videos on the computer for a bit longer than I was planning to because while they watch videos, I am getting a ton done around the house.
When I'm having a tough mommy day, it's possible I put my kids down for their naps earlier than I usually would.
At times, on those hard mommy days, I've even lost my temper. I felt horrible about it, I really did, but I'm not perfect. I don't claim to be.
Sometimes I don't feel like I'm feeding my kids the healthiest meals. I try, but Scarlett went through a "I only like chicken nuggets phase," and well, I wanted her to eat, so chicken nuggets it was!
I am not the parent of the year. But who is? We all choose to parent differently, but at the root of parenting, as long as we have our children's best interests in mind, as long as we love them unconditionally, and provide for them, and give them safety and comfort, I happen to think we are all winners.
We all make judgments. I know I do. Even though of course I hope people don't make judgments on me. Saturday Nur and TT had their 2nd week of school. They were both being angels. I mean, ANGELS. There was a boy there who wasn't there the 1st week, and he was being an absolute terror. During circle time, he was running around the room screaming, and his mom was holding him. I made my judgments. I was annoyed. I even exchanged glances at T. This boy was at least a year older than Nur . . surely he should be better behaved then that!
Then the parents separated. We sat in our room, away from the kids, and went around the table and discussed how our week was. The naughty boy's mom's turn was up, and she started sobbing. She is a single mom. Her child is dealing with a lot of sensory issues, but no one is taking these issues seriously, and some medical professionals don't even know what sensory issues are. Her son was kicked out of his daycare for repeated biting. She finally found a resource who specializes in sensory issues, and is going to start OT this week.
I felt bad for my previous judgments. We are all dealing with things, and sometimes being a mom, feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. We all struggle with things, we all advocate for our children, we all want the best for them. Sometimes that translates to the outside world, and sometimes it doesn't.
Grace. I need more of it. We all need more of it. Because whether you cloth diaper, breastfeed, bottle feed, vaccinate, or whatever choice you are making for your family, you ARE a good mom because you are putting in the effort to even make these decisions.
I know I have my battles. I have a son that melts anytime we are around someone. We are judged because of it constantly. I've even had a family member say, "What is wrong with your son?" I want grace for me and my situation, and I will extend that grace to others.
I love my children more than words will ever be able to express. Sometimes they behave, and people think I must be the best mother ever. Sometimes they are terrors, and I can imagine what people are thinking. I do my best. We all do our best. Let's let that be enough.
I recently read a blog post titled "Right vs Wrong." The Mama blogger who wrote the post was talking about how she breastfeeds, uses cloth diapers, does a delayed vaccination schedule, etc, and how she really thinks that is the correct way to parent. If that is correct, is the way I'm doing things wrong?
I personally think we all make choices that are best for us and our families. I was a cloth diapered baby, but I have chosen disposable for my kids. And you know what? Neither one has ever had a diaper rash. Ever.
I breastfed for 3 months, then went to formula. Not by choice. The well simply dried up.
I vaccinate. . . when my doctor tells me I should. I did research, and for me, vaccinating was the way to go.
Sometimes I let my kids watch You Tube videos on the computer for a bit longer than I was planning to because while they watch videos, I am getting a ton done around the house.
When I'm having a tough mommy day, it's possible I put my kids down for their naps earlier than I usually would.
At times, on those hard mommy days, I've even lost my temper. I felt horrible about it, I really did, but I'm not perfect. I don't claim to be.
Sometimes I don't feel like I'm feeding my kids the healthiest meals. I try, but Scarlett went through a "I only like chicken nuggets phase," and well, I wanted her to eat, so chicken nuggets it was!
I am not the parent of the year. But who is? We all choose to parent differently, but at the root of parenting, as long as we have our children's best interests in mind, as long as we love them unconditionally, and provide for them, and give them safety and comfort, I happen to think we are all winners.
We all make judgments. I know I do. Even though of course I hope people don't make judgments on me. Saturday Nur and TT had their 2nd week of school. They were both being angels. I mean, ANGELS. There was a boy there who wasn't there the 1st week, and he was being an absolute terror. During circle time, he was running around the room screaming, and his mom was holding him. I made my judgments. I was annoyed. I even exchanged glances at T. This boy was at least a year older than Nur . . surely he should be better behaved then that!
Then the parents separated. We sat in our room, away from the kids, and went around the table and discussed how our week was. The naughty boy's mom's turn was up, and she started sobbing. She is a single mom. Her child is dealing with a lot of sensory issues, but no one is taking these issues seriously, and some medical professionals don't even know what sensory issues are. Her son was kicked out of his daycare for repeated biting. She finally found a resource who specializes in sensory issues, and is going to start OT this week.
I felt bad for my previous judgments. We are all dealing with things, and sometimes being a mom, feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. We all struggle with things, we all advocate for our children, we all want the best for them. Sometimes that translates to the outside world, and sometimes it doesn't.
Grace. I need more of it. We all need more of it. Because whether you cloth diaper, breastfeed, bottle feed, vaccinate, or whatever choice you are making for your family, you ARE a good mom because you are putting in the effort to even make these decisions.
I know I have my battles. I have a son that melts anytime we are around someone. We are judged because of it constantly. I've even had a family member say, "What is wrong with your son?" I want grace for me and my situation, and I will extend that grace to others.
I love my children more than words will ever be able to express. Sometimes they behave, and people think I must be the best mother ever. Sometimes they are terrors, and I can imagine what people are thinking. I do my best. We all do our best. Let's let that be enough.
Monday, December 12, 2011
TT - 17 Months
On December 6th, Scarlett turned 17 months! Oh my goodness, I LOVE this daughter of mine.
She has grown up so much in the last month. Her world has started to expand. Before, she ONLY wanted Mama, and if for some reason I couldn't hold her, she would settle for Baba. (Baba = Father) But lately, she has been sharing the love more, and has taken a liking to my Dad and my brother. This is huge, as these are two people she wanted nothing to do with previously.
TT is starting to get so comfortable with people, that this weekend, when we were at school with the kids, we were all sitting in a circle singing songs. TT was sitting on my lap, and she got up, and went and sat on the teacher's lap. T and I just looked at her, thinking, "Who IS this child?" This may not seem like a big deal, but TT wouldn't even let people look at her previously, and now she is starting to trust the world around her.
TT is starting to talk so much. She has been great at imitating sounds for quite some time, but now she initiates words on her own. Some of the words she says are:
Mama
Baba
Fish
More
Please
Turtle
Row Row
Jack = Her cousin (And it sounds a lot like quack)
Baby
Up
Down
Tummy
Owl
And I'm sure I'm leaving many words off the list. She also says a lot of "words" and I have no idea what she's saying. But she seems to be saying something.
TT is mostly sweet. When I'm doing dishes, she'll come up to me and hug my leg, and then go hug T's leg. When Nur wakes up in the morning, she wants to hug him. Also, if Nur is upset, she'll try to hug him. She also tries to hug our cat, and her cousins, and pretty much everybody she encounters. Yesterday, I actually witnessed her giving her baby kisses while she was in her crib. . . where she was supposed to be napping. Big wet, sloppy kisses.
TT also has not so sweet moments. When she is frustrated about something, she'll stomp her feet, or lash out at someone and hit them. We are really trying to work on these behaviors, but sometimes I have no idea if a child her age really gets it. We do timeouts, we get to her level and tell her no, and we always make her apologize by hugging whoever she hit. (Unfortunately, it's usually Nur)
TT loves being quizzed on her body parts, and pretty much knows them all. Her favorite at the moment is her belly button. She loves poking other people's belly buttons also, which means she sometimes lifts up people's shirts. Oops.
She also loves music. She dances along and does the actions in the correct places, such as If You're Happy And You Know It. Yesterday we were at church for my nephews baptism, and we were sitting right by the musical section that included a piano, chello, flute, and cymbols. Everytime the music would end, Scarlett would clap real loud, and then start signing more. I love that she loves music.
And off the subject of TT, is the subject of Christmas Cards. Last year, my Mom had my sister and I stage a Christmas photo for my Mom and Dad's card. My mom had this "brilliant" idea of having naked babies, and the below picture is the one she sent out to people. Oh my!!!
This year, she had a different idea entirely, and now there was 1 more grandchild to add to the mix. This year, the staging was a lot easier, and this is the card that went out.
It's supposed to be angels around Baby Jesus. And I just have to say that the baby in this picture weighs the same as TT. . only the baby is 3 months old, and TT is 17 months old. Ha.
And this was our Christmas card this year. Well, it's the photo we used for our card.
Happy Monday ya'll!
She has grown up so much in the last month. Her world has started to expand. Before, she ONLY wanted Mama, and if for some reason I couldn't hold her, she would settle for Baba. (Baba = Father) But lately, she has been sharing the love more, and has taken a liking to my Dad and my brother. This is huge, as these are two people she wanted nothing to do with previously.
TT is starting to talk so much. She has been great at imitating sounds for quite some time, but now she initiates words on her own. Some of the words she says are:
Mama
Baba
Fish
More
Please
Turtle
Row Row
Jack = Her cousin (And it sounds a lot like quack)
Baby
Up
Down
Tummy
Owl
And I'm sure I'm leaving many words off the list. She also says a lot of "words" and I have no idea what she's saying. But she seems to be saying something.
TT is mostly sweet. When I'm doing dishes, she'll come up to me and hug my leg, and then go hug T's leg. When Nur wakes up in the morning, she wants to hug him. Also, if Nur is upset, she'll try to hug him. She also tries to hug our cat, and her cousins, and pretty much everybody she encounters. Yesterday, I actually witnessed her giving her baby kisses while she was in her crib. . . where she was supposed to be napping. Big wet, sloppy kisses.
TT also has not so sweet moments. When she is frustrated about something, she'll stomp her feet, or lash out at someone and hit them. We are really trying to work on these behaviors, but sometimes I have no idea if a child her age really gets it. We do timeouts, we get to her level and tell her no, and we always make her apologize by hugging whoever she hit. (Unfortunately, it's usually Nur)
TT loves being quizzed on her body parts, and pretty much knows them all. Her favorite at the moment is her belly button. She loves poking other people's belly buttons also, which means she sometimes lifts up people's shirts. Oops.
She also loves music. She dances along and does the actions in the correct places, such as If You're Happy And You Know It. Yesterday we were at church for my nephews baptism, and we were sitting right by the musical section that included a piano, chello, flute, and cymbols. Everytime the music would end, Scarlett would clap real loud, and then start signing more. I love that she loves music.
And off the subject of TT, is the subject of Christmas Cards. Last year, my Mom had my sister and I stage a Christmas photo for my Mom and Dad's card. My mom had this "brilliant" idea of having naked babies, and the below picture is the one she sent out to people. Oh my!!!
And this was our Christmas card this year. Well, it's the photo we used for our card.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Christmas
This year, materialism is heavy on my mind.
I will be the last person you will see waiting in line at a store on Black Friday.
And well, I have to confess, our tree currently has NO presents under it, and to be honest, T and I haven't even decided if we're going to do presents this year? And why? Because there isn't one thing that our kids need. Not one. And they are much too young to know if they want something.
I don't want to come off as high and mighty because I over indulge in "stuff" just like the next person. I am starting to become more aware of it though.
Through my travels, I've realize just how much stuff most Americans have. I am in NO way rich, yet my closet is full of clothes (most I won't wear anymore) and shoes, and belts, and purses. My kids? Oh my gosh - I could change them both multiple times a day, and it would be weeks before they ran out of clothes. They have every toy they could imagine. We are set.
I remember going to Norway for the first time, and was amazed at how little possessions my friends had. And my friends are doing well in that oil-rich nation. Yet they didn't have the excess stuff that a lot of us seem to have here.
And then I went to Egypt, and Taher's relatives lived in small apartments, and had only the necessities. I remember being in his one female cousin's bedroom (that she shared with her brother) and she had 1 pair of jeans, and a few shirts. That was her wardrobe. And it was plenty.
And Ethiopia.
What does one say about Ethiopia? The people I met were so full of joy, yet the only outfit they had, was the one currently on their body. Yet they smiled. They were joyful. And they just seemed happy.
I was in an all day training session this week, and as a get to know each other activity we had to introduce ourselves, and then tell the room what we would do if we had just won $100 million.
The responses were plentiful.
Buy a new camper
Buy a second home
Travel to Europe
Build a cabin
Buy a boat
It came to me, and trust me, I in no way wanted to seem superior to this group of people, but my first response was to give the majority of the money to help with the famines in East Africa. There are so many places in this world where $100 million could certainly benefit. East Africa just happens to be very near and dear to my heart.
"Whoever has much, much will be asked."
I don't have the answers. I don't think that people should live without. I just don't feel excited at the thought of receiving presents this year. In my family, we draw names. My brother-in-law drew my name, and I couldn't think of what to tell him I wanted. I couldn't think of anything. Nothing. And if I have to think that long and hard, perhaps I really need nothing at all?
And again, my kids. I love giving them things. I love seeing their eyes light up in excitement, although they are at the age where 2 minutes later, they will forget what they have received, and go onto the next thing. So I don't know if we'll do presents.
Perhaps I'll send my sponsored child presents? Perhaps I'll find a charity I really stand behind and give donations.
I'm not sure what Christmas will look like this year, but if there are no presents involved, I am completely fine with that.
I will be the last person you will see waiting in line at a store on Black Friday.
And well, I have to confess, our tree currently has NO presents under it, and to be honest, T and I haven't even decided if we're going to do presents this year? And why? Because there isn't one thing that our kids need. Not one. And they are much too young to know if they want something.
I don't want to come off as high and mighty because I over indulge in "stuff" just like the next person. I am starting to become more aware of it though.
Through my travels, I've realize just how much stuff most Americans have. I am in NO way rich, yet my closet is full of clothes (most I won't wear anymore) and shoes, and belts, and purses. My kids? Oh my gosh - I could change them both multiple times a day, and it would be weeks before they ran out of clothes. They have every toy they could imagine. We are set.
I remember going to Norway for the first time, and was amazed at how little possessions my friends had. And my friends are doing well in that oil-rich nation. Yet they didn't have the excess stuff that a lot of us seem to have here.
And then I went to Egypt, and Taher's relatives lived in small apartments, and had only the necessities. I remember being in his one female cousin's bedroom (that she shared with her brother) and she had 1 pair of jeans, and a few shirts. That was her wardrobe. And it was plenty.
And Ethiopia.
What does one say about Ethiopia? The people I met were so full of joy, yet the only outfit they had, was the one currently on their body. Yet they smiled. They were joyful. And they just seemed happy.
I was in an all day training session this week, and as a get to know each other activity we had to introduce ourselves, and then tell the room what we would do if we had just won $100 million.
The responses were plentiful.
Buy a new camper
Buy a second home
Travel to Europe
Build a cabin
Buy a boat
It came to me, and trust me, I in no way wanted to seem superior to this group of people, but my first response was to give the majority of the money to help with the famines in East Africa. There are so many places in this world where $100 million could certainly benefit. East Africa just happens to be very near and dear to my heart.
"Whoever has much, much will be asked."
I don't have the answers. I don't think that people should live without. I just don't feel excited at the thought of receiving presents this year. In my family, we draw names. My brother-in-law drew my name, and I couldn't think of what to tell him I wanted. I couldn't think of anything. Nothing. And if I have to think that long and hard, perhaps I really need nothing at all?
And again, my kids. I love giving them things. I love seeing their eyes light up in excitement, although they are at the age where 2 minutes later, they will forget what they have received, and go onto the next thing. So I don't know if we'll do presents.
Perhaps I'll send my sponsored child presents? Perhaps I'll find a charity I really stand behind and give donations.
I'm not sure what Christmas will look like this year, but if there are no presents involved, I am completely fine with that.
Monday, December 5, 2011
School. . . Take 2
In the fall, Nur and TT were in a wonderful Saturday morning class called "Play and Learn." It was 2 hours long, and there were many wonderful things to play with, as well as 2 craft tables set up. There was circle time where we would all sing songs, and it was a great time! It wasn't in our neighborhood, and that was part of the reason we selected this particular class. We don't like our neighborhood, so instead, went to the neighborhood we want to live in. . . someday.
The semester ended the week before Thanksgiving, and we decided to enroll the kids in the same ECFE program, but a different class. It's important for us that the kids are in the same class because we want this to be a family event, instead of bringing one kid somewhere, and the other kid somewhere else. And Nur was going to age out of the "Play and Learn." So, I decided to enroll the kids in a new class called "Adventures in Parenting." I also decided on a local school instead of the one in our desired neighborhood. "Adventures in Parenting" also has a separating component. The first hour, we are all together playing and singing songs, and then the kids have snacks, and the parents say goodbye to the kids and we go to the room next door and talk about parenting issues while enjoying our coffee and snacks.
So far, I'm not sure I love this class. I felt connected to the parents in the other class more (granted, I didn't after week 1) and the kids in this class seem so different than Nur and TT. There is one boy in the class who has obvious behavioral issues. I mean obvious. As we sat in circle time, T and I were whispering to each other that we didn't think this class was for us. I hated feeling that way cause I am still searching so hard to belong somewhere.
It was time for snack time, and we helped Nur and TT get situated, and then we said goodbye, and waited for them to explode. They didn't. That was weird! And it also made me realize just how grateful I am that these two have each other. I love that. We sat and sipped our caffeinated beverages and had some cookies and introduced ourselves to everyone. I was starting to like the class better. I peaked on the kids in their room once, and they were playing well. And playing with each other. I loved that. :)
I hope this class grows on me. So far, it's really helped me to realize some things about me. I have this perfect vision in my head. In this vision, I join some class with my kids, and all the other kids and my kids play well together. All the parents have so much in common, and we all become fast friends. We start a group and once a month are having dinner playdates, calling each other about parenting issues, and just being great friends. I want that. Nothing in my reality resembles that. Nothing.
I also realize that I am quick to write people off. I'm about to let you into my very crazy mind. But I have to say, I'm just being honest. T and I were the first one to arrive at our new class on Saturday. So we were sitting there and playing as the other families arrived. The first family arrived, and I instantly knew these people wouldn't become our best friends. Was it the way they were dressed, or how their child was dressed? Was it something they said? Their manerisms? I can't put my finger on it. They just didn't seem like "us" kind of people. Then a mother and son walked in, definitely from Eastern Africa, and later I would learn Somalia. Okay, there is some hope there, but the Somalis in my community tend to only hang out together. Then there was the problem child. That was definitely not a match. And the judgments go on, and on, and on.
I'm too judgmental, and I get that. But I also get the chemistry you feel with another person, and it's almost immediate. I have this vision of T and I meeting another couple and guess what? They have kids around Nur and TT's age. And guess what, they have our same political beliefs, love to eat Indian Food while enjoying a bottle of Pinot Grigio. They love to travel the world, they love gloabl issues. And I know this exists. I have friends where the wife is best friends with a woman, and her husband is best friends with the guy, and they go on trips with each other's families, etc. I want that closeness. Is that weird?
The problem is, is that I come to hasty conclusions about people, and therefore never really open up fully. And I laugh at what people must think when they meet me. Do I appear too "uppety" for them? Snobbish perhaps? I feel a bit snobbish putting this all down on paper, but it is honest.
I enroll my children in school, and swimming lessons, and the Little Gym for them. It is truly for them. But I want to get something out of it too. I am looking to make everlasting friendships. I am looking for playdates and people to really talk to.
Still
Searching
The semester ended the week before Thanksgiving, and we decided to enroll the kids in the same ECFE program, but a different class. It's important for us that the kids are in the same class because we want this to be a family event, instead of bringing one kid somewhere, and the other kid somewhere else. And Nur was going to age out of the "Play and Learn." So, I decided to enroll the kids in a new class called "Adventures in Parenting." I also decided on a local school instead of the one in our desired neighborhood. "Adventures in Parenting" also has a separating component. The first hour, we are all together playing and singing songs, and then the kids have snacks, and the parents say goodbye to the kids and we go to the room next door and talk about parenting issues while enjoying our coffee and snacks.
So far, I'm not sure I love this class. I felt connected to the parents in the other class more (granted, I didn't after week 1) and the kids in this class seem so different than Nur and TT. There is one boy in the class who has obvious behavioral issues. I mean obvious. As we sat in circle time, T and I were whispering to each other that we didn't think this class was for us. I hated feeling that way cause I am still searching so hard to belong somewhere.
It was time for snack time, and we helped Nur and TT get situated, and then we said goodbye, and waited for them to explode. They didn't. That was weird! And it also made me realize just how grateful I am that these two have each other. I love that. We sat and sipped our caffeinated beverages and had some cookies and introduced ourselves to everyone. I was starting to like the class better. I peaked on the kids in their room once, and they were playing well. And playing with each other. I loved that. :)
I hope this class grows on me. So far, it's really helped me to realize some things about me. I have this perfect vision in my head. In this vision, I join some class with my kids, and all the other kids and my kids play well together. All the parents have so much in common, and we all become fast friends. We start a group and once a month are having dinner playdates, calling each other about parenting issues, and just being great friends. I want that. Nothing in my reality resembles that. Nothing.
I also realize that I am quick to write people off. I'm about to let you into my very crazy mind. But I have to say, I'm just being honest. T and I were the first one to arrive at our new class on Saturday. So we were sitting there and playing as the other families arrived. The first family arrived, and I instantly knew these people wouldn't become our best friends. Was it the way they were dressed, or how their child was dressed? Was it something they said? Their manerisms? I can't put my finger on it. They just didn't seem like "us" kind of people. Then a mother and son walked in, definitely from Eastern Africa, and later I would learn Somalia. Okay, there is some hope there, but the Somalis in my community tend to only hang out together. Then there was the problem child. That was definitely not a match. And the judgments go on, and on, and on.
I'm too judgmental, and I get that. But I also get the chemistry you feel with another person, and it's almost immediate. I have this vision of T and I meeting another couple and guess what? They have kids around Nur and TT's age. And guess what, they have our same political beliefs, love to eat Indian Food while enjoying a bottle of Pinot Grigio. They love to travel the world, they love gloabl issues. And I know this exists. I have friends where the wife is best friends with a woman, and her husband is best friends with the guy, and they go on trips with each other's families, etc. I want that closeness. Is that weird?
The problem is, is that I come to hasty conclusions about people, and therefore never really open up fully. And I laugh at what people must think when they meet me. Do I appear too "uppety" for them? Snobbish perhaps? I feel a bit snobbish putting this all down on paper, but it is honest.
I enroll my children in school, and swimming lessons, and the Little Gym for them. It is truly for them. But I want to get something out of it too. I am looking to make everlasting friendships. I am looking for playdates and people to really talk to.
Still
Searching
Nur is 2!
On Saturday, December 3rd, my beautiful son turned 2 years old.
We had a party at our house to celebrate. We only invited immediate family as well as our good friends we met during the adoption process, and it's amazing how quickly our small house started to feel really small!
And just like Nur's 1st birthday, snow greeted us on this cold December day.
We woke up early (cause let's be honest, we are always up early!) and we let Nur open his presents from us.
After Nur opened up this book on trucks, he was completely happy and didn't care a thing about another toy.
After presents, we bundled the kids up and headed to their first day of their new class for the winter semester. I think I'll leave that post for another day, cause it's definitely a post in itself.
After naps, the first guests started to arrive, and the party had officially begun!
After cake it was time to open presents! Oh my goodness, did this boy get A LOT! With Christmas just around the corner, I don't think this boy needs Christmas presents this year. He really got into the opening of presents, although I opened the majority of them for him. Once he opened the first one and saw it was a bus, he was completely content to go on playing with his new bus.
Nur's good buddy B also came for the party. Oh, we love Bso much. And so do Nur and TT. :)
As a mama, I really look forward to special occassions that are dedicated to celebrating my children. I plan and plan, and of course, the day comes, and things don't go according to plan. Ever. You see, Nur doesn't always do well in crowds, and this day, he definitely didn't do the best. He whined anytime new guests arrived and a few times during the party, I brought him to his bedroom so just he and I could cuddle and he could read a book. He just gets so over stimulated. And to make matter worse, we have a couple relatives I could just strangle from time to time. (Sorry - that probably sounds harsh) This one family member kept coming up to Nur when I was holding him, and getting in his face and asking what was wrong, and why he was acting like that, etc, etc. Let me tell you, that is NOT what you do to a child. Nur needed his space.
Overall, it was a great day, and as a parent, I wished Nur loved parties as much as I do, and perhaps he will some day, but at this point, it was very obvious it was too overwhelming for him.
I love this child so much, and cannot even believe that he's 2!
Happy Birthday Nur!
We had a party at our house to celebrate. We only invited immediate family as well as our good friends we met during the adoption process, and it's amazing how quickly our small house started to feel really small!
And just like Nur's 1st birthday, snow greeted us on this cold December day.
We woke up early (cause let's be honest, we are always up early!) and we let Nur open his presents from us.
"Reading" The Elmo card we got him
After Nur opened up this book on trucks, he was completely happy and didn't care a thing about another toy.
After naps, the first guests started to arrive, and the party had officially begun!
Nur loves cars, so I thought this cake was very fitting
Overall, it was a great day, and as a parent, I wished Nur loved parties as much as I do, and perhaps he will some day, but at this point, it was very obvious it was too overwhelming for him.
I love this child so much, and cannot even believe that he's 2!
Happy Birthday Nur!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Sleep
Sleep is one of the biggest adjustments of parenthood. Or perhaps I should say, lack of sleep.
I can barely remember the days of getting up at 6am everyday to the sound of my buzzing alarm. Rolling out of bed, thinking that I can't believe I have to wake up so early, and already excited about Saturday when I could wake up late. . . which for me was 8am.
At the same time, I also feel far beyond the days of having a newborn, when I was grateful to get a 2-3 hour stretch of sleep. A newborn who didn't know what a bedtime was, so perhaps wouldn't go down until 11pm. A newborn who drank breastmilk, albeit, not from the breast, so many of my nights were spent pumping and watching Three's Company while I fed TT. Those days also seem like a distant memory.
As a mother, it's amazing to me how quickly we can shift to this. I used to get 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night. And if I received less than 8 at any given time, you did not want to interact with me the following day. And after TT was born, I would sleep perhaps 4 hours a night, and yet was still able to function. I didn't look real put together, but I functioned.
Now I have an almost 17 month old, and an almost 2 year old, and for the most part, sleep has gotten easier in our household. We have a bedtime of around 7:30pm, and we can usually expect to sleep uninterrupted until 5am at the earliest. I haven't set an alarm since TT was born. My eyes literally pop open at 5am everyday, if not earlier. I hope (and pray!) that I can get a shower in before the first child starts stirring. Perhaps even get my makeup applied and my hair blown out. And now that the kids to go to bed at a regular time each evening, I even get time with my husband to watch a movie, have a glass of wine (or 3), read a book, and just have some much needed me-time. Life surrounding sleep has gotten so much easier, that when asked my thoughts on a 3rd child, I simply can't imagine ever going back to sleepless nights, even though sometimes a 3rd child does sound appealing.
And then something with sleep changes. And I don't know what brings on this change. Is it teething? Is it a growth spurt? Something else? TT has been a great sleeper for the past few months. I sing to her, put her in a crib, tell her goodnight and that I love her, and she rolls over and passes out. Or she sits and plays and plays in her crib for a few minutes, and then passes out. About 2 weeks ago, this all changed. Now, she screams Mama when I try to walk out of the room, so now I rub her back for about 10 minutes until she is completely down, and then leave her room. And then a few hours later, she cries, and then a few hours later, more crying. We've tried moving back her bedtime (last night, she didn't go to bed until 8:30pm) and she still gets up early. She has been waking up 2-3 times a night, and still up at 5am and ready for the day. I'm hoping this is just a stage that she will quickly get out of, because I am officially tired.
As in, I have a newborn tired!
May TT start enjoying sleep again!
I can barely remember the days of getting up at 6am everyday to the sound of my buzzing alarm. Rolling out of bed, thinking that I can't believe I have to wake up so early, and already excited about Saturday when I could wake up late. . . which for me was 8am.
At the same time, I also feel far beyond the days of having a newborn, when I was grateful to get a 2-3 hour stretch of sleep. A newborn who didn't know what a bedtime was, so perhaps wouldn't go down until 11pm. A newborn who drank breastmilk, albeit, not from the breast, so many of my nights were spent pumping and watching Three's Company while I fed TT. Those days also seem like a distant memory.
As a mother, it's amazing to me how quickly we can shift to this. I used to get 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night. And if I received less than 8 at any given time, you did not want to interact with me the following day. And after TT was born, I would sleep perhaps 4 hours a night, and yet was still able to function. I didn't look real put together, but I functioned.
Now I have an almost 17 month old, and an almost 2 year old, and for the most part, sleep has gotten easier in our household. We have a bedtime of around 7:30pm, and we can usually expect to sleep uninterrupted until 5am at the earliest. I haven't set an alarm since TT was born. My eyes literally pop open at 5am everyday, if not earlier. I hope (and pray!) that I can get a shower in before the first child starts stirring. Perhaps even get my makeup applied and my hair blown out. And now that the kids to go to bed at a regular time each evening, I even get time with my husband to watch a movie, have a glass of wine (or 3), read a book, and just have some much needed me-time. Life surrounding sleep has gotten so much easier, that when asked my thoughts on a 3rd child, I simply can't imagine ever going back to sleepless nights, even though sometimes a 3rd child does sound appealing.
And then something with sleep changes. And I don't know what brings on this change. Is it teething? Is it a growth spurt? Something else? TT has been a great sleeper for the past few months. I sing to her, put her in a crib, tell her goodnight and that I love her, and she rolls over and passes out. Or she sits and plays and plays in her crib for a few minutes, and then passes out. About 2 weeks ago, this all changed. Now, she screams Mama when I try to walk out of the room, so now I rub her back for about 10 minutes until she is completely down, and then leave her room. And then a few hours later, she cries, and then a few hours later, more crying. We've tried moving back her bedtime (last night, she didn't go to bed until 8:30pm) and she still gets up early. She has been waking up 2-3 times a night, and still up at 5am and ready for the day. I'm hoping this is just a stage that she will quickly get out of, because I am officially tired.
As in, I have a newborn tired!
May TT start enjoying sleep again!
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