School. . . Take 2

In the fall, Nur and TT were in a wonderful Saturday morning class called "Play and Learn." It was 2 hours long, and there were many wonderful things to play with, as well as 2 craft tables set up.  There was circle time where we would all sing songs, and it was a great time! It wasn't in our neighborhood, and that was part of the reason we selected this particular class.  We don't like our neighborhood, so instead, went to the neighborhood we want to live in. . . someday.

The semester ended the week before Thanksgiving, and we decided to enroll the kids in the same ECFE program, but a different class.  It's important for us that the kids are in the same class because we want this to be a family event, instead of bringing one kid somewhere, and the other kid somewhere else.  And Nur was going to age out of the "Play and Learn."  So, I decided to enroll the kids in a new class called "Adventures in Parenting."  I also decided on a local school instead of the one in our desired neighborhood.  "Adventures in Parenting" also has a separating component. The first hour, we are all together playing and singing songs, and then the kids have snacks, and the parents say goodbye to the kids and we go to the room next door and talk about parenting issues while enjoying our coffee and snacks. 

So far, I'm not sure I love this class.  I felt connected to the parents in the other class more (granted, I didn't after week 1) and the kids in this class seem so different than Nur and TT.  There is one boy in the class who has obvious behavioral issues.  I mean obvious.  As we sat in circle time, T and I were whispering to each other that we didn't think this class was for us.  I hated feeling that way cause I am still searching so hard to belong somewhere. 

It was time for snack time, and we helped Nur and TT get situated, and then we said goodbye, and waited for them to explode.  They didn't.  That was weird!  And it also made me realize just how grateful I am that these two have each other.  I love that.  We sat and sipped our caffeinated beverages and had some cookies and introduced ourselves to everyone.  I was starting to like the class better.  I peaked on the kids in their room once, and they were playing well.  And playing with each other.  I loved that. :)

I hope this class grows on me.  So far, it's really helped me to realize some things about me.  I have this perfect vision in my head.  In this vision, I join some class with my kids, and all the other kids and my kids play well together.  All the parents have so much in common, and we all become fast friends.  We start a group and once a month are having dinner playdates, calling each other about parenting issues, and just being great friends.  I want that.  Nothing in my reality resembles that.  Nothing.

I also realize that I am quick to write people off.  I'm about to let you into my very crazy mind.  But I have to say, I'm just being honest.  T and I were the first one to arrive at our new class on Saturday. So we were sitting there and playing as the other families arrived.  The first family arrived, and I instantly knew these people wouldn't become our best friends.  Was it the way they were dressed, or how their child was dressed?  Was it something they said? Their manerisms? I can't put my finger on it.  They just didn't seem like "us" kind of people.  Then a mother and son walked in, definitely from Eastern Africa, and later I would learn Somalia.  Okay, there is some hope there, but the Somalis in my community tend to only hang out together.  Then there was the problem child.  That was definitely not a match.  And the judgments go on, and on, and on. 

I'm too judgmental, and I get that.  But I also get the chemistry you feel with another person, and it's almost immediate.  I have this vision of T and I meeting another couple and guess what? They have kids around Nur and TT's age.  And guess what, they have our same political beliefs, love to eat Indian Food while enjoying a bottle of Pinot Grigio.  They love to travel the world, they love gloabl issues.   And I know this exists.  I have friends where the wife is best friends with a woman, and her husband is best friends with the guy, and they go on trips with each other's families, etc.  I want that closeness.  Is that weird? 

The problem is, is that I come to hasty conclusions about people, and therefore never really open up fully.  And I laugh at what people must think when they meet me.  Do I appear too "uppety" for them? Snobbish perhaps? I feel a bit snobbish putting this all down on paper, but it is honest. 

I enroll my children in school, and swimming lessons, and the Little Gym for them.  It is truly for them.  But I want to get something out of it too.  I am looking to make everlasting friendships. I am looking for playdates and people to really talk to.

Still

Searching