I have been anxiously waiting the call from the adoption agency with our Embassy Appointment date. We are so anxious to have Khalil home for good. With the anticipation of this call, I am also sad about leaving Scarlett. I know it's for the best, and I know that once I'm back, she'll have no recollection that I was gone at all. But at the same time, she is really starting to recognize me. She smiles at me, follows my voice, and is easily soothed by my touch. She definitely knows I'm her Mama, which is going to make leaving even harder.
So, the other day, I'm playing with Scarlett on the floor, and T is sitting on the couch. I asked T if Scarlett will even know I'm gone when I travel to Ethiopia. (Of course, the answer I wanted was that no, she won't even realize it, it will go by so quickly, blah, blah, blah)
Instead, T answered.
"Of course she'll know you're gone! She's going to cry bloody murder as soon as you leave."
I then had to instruct T on the fact that sometimes lying is best, although he disagreed.
*sigh*
I hope he is wrong.
12 comments:
He is wrong~
Scarlett will cry a little, but then she cries a little when you are there too~
At this age, babies just "love the one they're with" (David Crosby just might have written that song for an infant)~
This will give her a chance to bond with her Grandparents~
And give you a chance to bond with Khalil~
All will be well, my friend!
♥,Lilly
Sorry! If it helps she probably is young enough that she really won't be very upset about it. She'll probably cry for mama a few times but overall if her needs are being met at this stage she will be OK with someone else watching her. Separation anxiety doesn't really hit until 6 months or so.
We left my son at 4 months and he wasn't upset. He was very familiar with my parents by that time so he was absolutely fine. But we did get HUGE smiles when we returned - the best of both worlds!
I can understand you being anxious about leaving her. But you are right, she won't remember that you had been gone once she come home. She'll be okay. It's just hard thinking about it...
Good luck with everything. Hoping it all comes together for you soon.
I know it didn't make you laugh, but it made me laugh! If you think about it, it's such a loving answer. He AND Scarlett will miss you, he wants you to know they WILL think about you, you're an awesome mom. But it's such a guy answer, too! Ha!
As someone who travels quite a bit for work, I can tell you all about the emotions you'll feel when leaving. The anxiety of actually leaving is far worse than when it happens. And she won't know you're gone. At this age, she'll see you go and then be THRILLED when you're home again. And Taher will have such a great time one-on-one with her!
I have found it's WAY harder to leave them when they're older. It's getting more and more difficult to leave Colt, because he realizes I'm gone and he misses me and if I'm gone more than one night he acts out at school. But that's only begun since he was about 18 months old.
Hugs, Leah. Try not to worry about it. Like I said, the anxiety is far worse than actually being gone. You won't have time to even think about how hard it is because you'll be HOLDING YOUR SON!
What a blessed family you are a part of!
When my nephew was young, my SIL was very sick and my husband and I took our nephew to our home for several days, 2 hours away in fact. He was "happy as a clam", only had 2 meltdowns...one because he was overly tired and another because we was not familiar with my friend Meg who tried to hold him.
So, as long as Scarlett is in the arms of those she "knows" she will make the short transition.
Realisticaly, there must be deeper fears than just leaving her, as you waited so long for this miracle. This anxiety is just part of the process of such a long journey...a journey with many layers. Doesn't mean you love Khalil any less, but its just hard to work through all the emotions.
Hang in there and yes I agree, Taher could have fibbed a bit :)
HUGS
He is wrong. I agree with that. I am a Grandma. And I adopted my daughter and when her son was first born he was with me a lot during the first 3 mos. He was soothed by me also as is her second son. Grandma/parents are wonderful and she will know you are not there. She may wish she could see you or hear that beautiful voice that soothes her though she will be fine while your away. My cousin's hubby is in Iraq and as soon as he was born he started reading books to him on skype. If you cannot skype then maybe read on a recorder or something. You will hurt way more then her though this is a first of a zillion times when you will have to choose to go to the child who needs you most. Example. K scrapes his knee, your playing with S, you gotta leave her to go to him. Its a tug that ALL Mommies (I hope all anyways) of more then one endure. The rewards will be worth it, to your children especially. You have blessed them with a sibling close in age and siblings are amazing. hugs, Kandi
I think she will be fine. She will miss you but as long as her needs are being met.. I don't think she will cry all that much. You crying a lot.. now that is a different story. You all will be okay.
Hang in there momma... this will only be a tiny blip on her lifelong radar of your love!! :) It will be worth it!
Lol! Men, sometimes they don't realize that really a good lie will suffice! I'm praying Miss Scarlett will do just fine, and the time will pass quickly!
We traveled to bring our daughter home from China when our other daughter was 8 months old. She did great. I cried so hard over her crib the night we got home (around 1 am) I couldn't wait until she woke up--she reached for me like I had never left and we were gone for 13 days!! I cherish those days we had with just one baby before and while we were in China. Coming home to two babies was hard, but, oh, what a blessing!!
She'll miss her mommy, but you'll both make it! It will fly by and she'll be so excited to meet her BIG BROTHER when you come home! Squeeeeal!
I can totally understand being anxious about leaving her and she might be upset a little at first, but it's much better at this age than when they are older. It's hard as a mom not to be torn between your two (I wish I could say it gets easier having more than one), but you have all best intentions at heart...and that is what matters :-) Hope you get to bring him home soon!
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