Domestic or International Adoption

Where to adopt from was definitely one of the larger decisions Taher and I have had to make throughout this process. There are many options out there, and it was very important that Taher and I made the best choice for our family. We were first drawn to domestic adoption for many reasons. The U.S. has millions of children that need homes. Not only that, but when adopting domestically, it is possible to adopt a newborn baby, which isn't possible in the majority of international adoption situations. These were the two biggest pro's for us. But, the more we learned about the domestic adoption situation, the more we realized this may not be the best option for us.

When adopting domestically, The adopting couple puts together almost a scrapbook which details their lives, who they are, what they can offer a child, and things of that nature. The birth mom in most situations will then handpick the couple she wants to adopt her child. There are open adoption situations, as well as closed adoption situations. With domestic adoption, you can be placed with a child very shortly if chosen by a birthmom. Or, you can wait for years and years and years. It is all about being selected, and it is all about how strict your criteria is in a child. That is something that scared me. I think Taher and I are great and have a lot to offer, but what if we were never picked?

Another aspect of domestic adoption that scared us a bit, was that the cost could vary quite a bit. It could be very inexpensive, or it could be very expensive if certain birth mother costs needed to be covered.And the final and strongest reason we decided against a domestic adoption, was because birth mother's can change their minds, and 1 in 5 birth mother's DO change their minds and decide to keep their child. Don't get me wrong. . . I believe birth mother's deserve to have their rights protected. Absolutely! The gift that birth mother's give adoptive parents cannot be expressed strong enough. I just know that Taher and I couldn't deal with that heartache. We couldn't deal with preparing for a child, only to find out that the child would not be ours afterall. I also want to add that I know many couples that went the domestic adoption route. They had beautiful situations, they adopted beautiful children, and now have relationships with the birth mothers. Their children are thriving and happy. I don't want it to seem like domestic adoption isn't a good option, because so many families have been created this way, and for a lot of families, it was the only option and the best option. It just wasn't the best option for Taher and I.

Adoption and the decisions surrounding adoption are personal, and no one has the right to judge those decisions. In life, everyone must do what's best for them, and Taher and I have a lot of peace and happiness about where we are adopting from. Because this post already got way longer than I was expecting, I will post soon about the international adoption process, and why we decided to adopt from the country we are adopting from.