Ethiopia. . . The End of the Trip

Wednesday, October 13th was the day that I would be checking Nur out of the orphanage, and I would be taking custody of him.  I was excited and nervous.  We weren't picking the children up until later in the day, so in the morning, we decided to go to Entodo. . . which is a mountain outside of Addis Ababa and you can look at the whole city down below. 

The views from the mountain looking down at Addis Ababa.

Entodo was beautiful.  Because of the extremely high elevation, a lot of marathon runners train here.  We met a woman who was training, and through our driver, she told us that she needed new sneakers.  Well, one of the people on our trip had brought two pairs with to donate, and they happened to be her size!  I hope to see this woman in the Olympics someday. :)

And here was a woman carrying this down the hill.  And it was  HUGE hill. 

Finally, it was time to go to the orphanage.  I had so many mixed feelings.  Mostly, I was so excited to begin physically parenting Nur.  But I was also really nervous how it would go.  Would he cry?  Would he be scared? I also knew time was going to slow down considerably, and we didn't leave Ethiopia until Saturday.  Up until that point, the trip had flown by because we would go to the orphanage a couple of hours every day, but then we would site see.  I knew siteseeing was officially over as all the families would stay at the guesthouse and really get to know their children. 

We arrived at the orphanage, and I was brought paperwork to sign.  The paperwork said as of this day, Nur was in my physical custody.  I was his parent forever.  WOW! This was really happening.

Nur's nanny brought him out, and before she handed him to me, I took a picture of the two of them together.

How do I thank someone for loving my son?  For caring for him, attending to his every need, and then to just have to say goodbye?  I can't not say enough about these women and all they do for us.  My heart was happy and sad all at the same time. 

I changed Nur out of the orphanage clothes, and put him in an outfit I brought him.  This was required, as the orphanage cannot afford to lose clothes.  And I'm sure once I took Nur's outfit off, it was washed, and is now keeping another baby warm. He was freshly bathed, and smelled OH SO GOOD.

After all the families signed their children out of the orphanage, we all loaded into a van to drive us back to our guesthouse.  We of course didn't have carseats, so all of the children were on our laps.  Here we were, 6 white adults.  Holding beautiful Ethiopian babies.  As we drove down the streets toward our destination, I could feel the glare from those on the street.  There were men in suits, looking at our van and shaking their heads.  There was a homeless woman carrying her naked baby down the street.  There were beggers coming up to our van and asking for money.  And here we were. . . all carrying Ethiopian babies, and it made me sad.  I was sad for Ethiopia.  It is a beautiful country, and they were losing 4 remarkable human beings.  I was sad for Nur.  He was losing his country, his friends, his nannies, his comfort.  Adoption and loss had never been more clear for me than in that moment.  In that moment, I questioned whether I was doing the right thing. I questioned the best way to help this struggling country?  And I doubted whether taking their beautiful children was the right answer.  I still struggle.

We got back to the guesthouse, and took a picture of our four babies.  They were all doing remarkably well considering they were out of their safe place, and they were with complete strangers.  What beauties they all are.

The next day, October 14th was our Embassy Appointment! I got Nur dressed, and we headed to the US Embassy.  I didn't know what to expect, but what the appointment ended up being was very similar to my experience at the DMV.  I went up to a window with Nur, and was asked many questions.  And then the man behind the counter congratulated me, and wished us luck with the rest of our lives.  Oh, and he also handed me a sealed envelope that said I ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT OPEN and it had to be opened by immigration upon arriving in the US. 

Here is Nur after the Embassy appointment.  His personality was already starting to come out.  And it was strange, but it was like he already knew I was Mom.  He would follow me with his eyes in our room, and he would light up when I would take to him.  My son. . . who I don't deserve.

 Friday and Saturday were the LONGEST days ever.  Friday, I was sick.  Couldn't leave the toilet sick.  Thank goodness for my Mom for helping out with Nur that day.  And we didn't leave Saturday until 10pm, so we basically had another full day in Ethiopia.  And we were advised to not really go anywhere because of how people feel about seeing white people with their babies, so we were literally holed up at the guesthouse.  I have never been more ready to come home.  My heart was ACHING for TT.  Aching.  T had just called to tell me she cried inconsolably for 45 minutes, and it was after my sister had left taking care of her.  My sister and I have a very similar voice, so T thought it was because TT missed me.  Talk about a breaking heart. 

It was Saturday October 16th, and finally time to leave for the airport.  See those cute pajamas Nur has on?  Yeah. . . he pooped on them about 30 minutes after I put them on, so this isn't what he wore on the plane. Ha. 

I was nervous about traveling for so long with Nur.  I mean, we had about a 6 hour flight to Amsterdam in front of us.  Then another 4 hours at the airport there.  And then another 8 hour flight home.  Yes, I was nervous. On the flight to Amsterdam, the other adoptive parents all had bassinets, but Nur didn't have one.  Well, a really nice guy who was traveling with us, gave Nur his daughter's bassinet.  Nur was the smallest and youngest traveling back, and we are so grateful for that.  Not only did he give us his daughter's bassinet, but the bassinet was in front of his seat, so when Nur would get up, this very nice man would comfort him and put him back to sleep.  So, the flight to Amsterdam was a blur.  We all. . . including Nur, pretty much slept right through it.

We got to Amsterdam and said goodbye to the other families.  We were flying directly into MSP from there, and they were all flying to Detroit, and then onto their final destination.  Oh, how I was going to miss these people!  We had only spent a week together,but going through such a profound experience together will bond anyone.  We then had to wait for 4 hours in Amsterdam, and finally were on our flight to MSP.

Nur did so well.  My Mom got very sick on the flight though, and I felt horrible for her.  So, I had to bring Nur with me to the bathroom anytime I needed to pump (yes, I was still pumping at this point) to change him, when I had to go to the bathroom, etc.  Nur sat on my lap, and sometimes he would be fussy, but for the most part, he was the most perfect baby.  I even had a woman come up to me and compliment me on my wonderful baby.  Although I appreciated the comment, I couldn't take the credit. I had only known Nur for a few days at this point. 

We arrived at the airport, and got to go to the front of the line because we had a baby.  We were congratulated by the immigration officer, and we were home.  I knew that on the other side of the wall, was TT.  I longed to hold her.  Other family members had come also.  We tried to keep the get together small, so it was just immediate family.  My Dad was there.  My sister, her husband and daughter.  T's brother, his brother's wife, and their two children, and T's parents. (There are a few pictures from this event, but they are on my sister's camera, and for some reason she can't get them off) We opened the door, and there they were! My eyes immediately went to TT.  She was in a brand new outfit that her Baba had picked out for her, and I went over to them, and T took Nur, and I took TT.  Okay, wouldn't it be a cute story if I told you she cried tears of happiness when I held her, and snuggled into me?  Well, she just looked at me like, "Why are you crying woman?"  What everyone told me became very true in that moment. . . being away from TT was much harder for me than it was for her. 

Everyone met Nur, and then we went home.  We were finally all together, and it was the best and most overhwelming moment of my life.  The journey that began in June 2009 was all worth it.  The years of infertility treatments, the months of paperwork, and appointments, and divulging every little detail about our lives. . . in the moment we were all together, it all became worth it. 

 

I tried to document pretty much everything, but I feel like I've already written a novel, and there is still so much more to say.  Like the day I visited an orphanage that houses special need children and those with AIDS. I remember being there, and seeing a baby about Nur's age, sitting in a little rocking seat ,and rocking herself with her own foot.  She had no one to rock her. No one to soothe her.  The children with AIDS coming up to me and hugging me, simply longing for human touch. I also didn't talk about the homeless lady with two girls on the street who refused our donations because she didn't want charity. 

My heart broke over and over again on this trip.  I think that has something to do with how long it took me to document.  My heart breaks for everything I saw and experienced.  I am changed because of the trip, and Ethiopia will always be near and dear to my heart.