The Call to Adopt

For the most part, I try to keep my blog non controversial.  I wanted a "space" to talk about my growing family.  I wanted to document the path to motherhood for my children.  But. . . there are some things I feel too strongly about.  So, this is the warning. . . my below post MAY contain subject matter you do not agree with.  Be warned. :)

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When T and I decided to adopt, many hours, days and weeks were spent researching which agency to go with.  We had many things we felt strongly about.  Our agency must be Hague Accredited, our agency must work in Ethiopia, our agency must be in excellent standing with the adoption world, and our agency must not be affiliated with religion.

Let me back up a bit.  I was raised in the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church.  I was baptized in this church as well as confirmed in this church.  I was a follower.  Mainly because it was all I knew.  I never had exposure to anything else.  After high school, I attended a Lutheran College in Minneapolis.  I was 18 years old, and up until this point, I thought Lutheran was Lutheran.  Well, the College I attended was Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, also referred to as ELCA.  It was only then I realized that the church I grew up with was not the church for me.  I don't want to simplify the sect of religion, but to put it briefly and bluntly, the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church does not allow women to be pastors.  Can you imagine me being part of an institution that in my opinion puts more value on men than women?  Or that thinks women should be in more traditional roles.  So, I said goodbye to that conservative sect, and joined the ELCA church. (Want to add if you are part of this church that is wonderful it just wasn't for me)

I am completely digressing here. 

Regardless of my Christianity, it was still important for me to find an agency that had no religious requirements.  You see. . . There are 147 million orphans in the world.  That number is astounding and incomrehensible.  I wanted to find an agency that had as few barriers between me and my child.  I didn't want religion to be a barrier.  Nor did I want any of the other restrictions that some agencies put on adoptive parents.  T and I were very happy to find the perfect agency for us.  And our agency brought us to our beautiful son.  So it all worked out for us.

T's parents are from Egypt.  They moved to the U.S. over 35 years ago.  They are Muslim and I have tried to embrace their religion.  I have read verses from the Koran, I have listened to his parents talk to me about things they think are important, I have listened to why they fast for Ramadan.  I don't agree with everything they tell me, but I respect their beliefs, and I fully realize that if I was born in Egypt, I too, would most likely be Muslim.  But I'm not.  I'm a Christian, born and raised in MN. 

Imagine my surprise when we told them we were adopting a child from Ethiopia, and they were not pleased.  You see, although I have read verses of the Koran, I've not read much, and I obviously didn't read the parts about adoption.  Muslims believe in maintaining families (so do I, but that isn't always the reality) and they believe that adoption can be a bad thing because you are taking that child from their life and their future beliefs, and changing those beliefs.  Orphans should always be raised by an extended family member. (again, great, but not always realistic)

I've thought about this a lot since beginning our adoption process.  How can a religion be against adoption? That doesn't make sense to me.  (I would also like to add that T's parents have embraced our adoption and their first grandson beautifully)

Ethiopia is approximately 50% Muslim and 50% Christian. (These are rough estimates, but are pretty close, and if anything, Ethiopia leans more heavily Christian)  K was born in a region of Ethiopia that is 95% Muslim, and K's given name is Arabic. (oh wait, the name T and I gave him is also Arabic) Is there the possibility that K's first family was Muslim?  All of a sudden, T's parent's view on adoption that is founded in their religion became more apparent to me.  No religion wants kids to be adopted and then raised in a different religion.  Imagine a child born to a Christian family being adopted by a Jewish family, and raised Jewish.  I believe there are Christians who would look down on that, no?

Again. . . I digress. 

I believe there is too much need in the adoption world to place so many restrictions on adoption.  I think if you feel called to adopt, if you have the means to raise a child, if you pass a background check and are a contributing member to society, than you should be able to adopt. 

Should same sex couples be able to adopt?  How about a Jewish couple?  How about  Muslim Couple? Hindus? Christians?

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes.

I also believe religion should never be forced anyway.  Sure, give children a foundation, but at the end of the day, it is up to them to find God.  (whatever God they choose to find)

All families look different.  And if there are people out there who want to take away the rights of others to adopt, than I challenge those people to step up and adopt themselves.  Because again. . . there are 147 million orphans in this world. . . and I think having a family, regardless of what that family looks like is always better than being raised in an orphanage.