Nur has been home for a year and a half. Every day, we move farther away from Ethiopia and closer to the rest of our lives. I miss so much about Ethiopia, and I hate that it's becoming a distant memory for me. At times I wonder if Nur remembers anything about it at all. I vow to bring him back. Someday.
It didn't take long for Nur to simply feel like my son. It wasn't immediate, and it didn't just happen one day, but somewhere in the past year and a half, he and I have developed a bond that only a mother and child can develop. Yes, Nur is adopted, but I would never introduce him as my adopted son. He is simply Nur. The best son I could ever have asked for. A son with the gentlest soul I have ever seen. A son I can't remember not being part of our lives.
Adoption. Never far from my mind. Something that I'm so grateful to have experienced. Something so profound that I still haven't grasped the reality of it. At times, I sit sadly amazed at how much I have altered Nur's life. I'm happy he has parents who can provide for him. But I remain sad for the fact that he will never know anyone that he shares genetics with. Sad that he has lost so much of his culture and identity. We have altered the course of his life. . . as he has altered the course of ours. We are both people that will never be the same because of each other.
As much as I hate that Nur has already lost so much in his life, I'm so grateful that our paths found each other. I'm so lucky to be this boy's mama. To see him grow, to see light enter his eyes, and to see him feel like a part of something. Adoption looks differently for everyone. But for me, and for my family, it's been a blessing beyond all understanding. It was that one defining moment in my life when I realized nothing would ever be the same again. That my life was forever changed. That I was forever changed. And I owe it all to my son.
6 comments:
This is a beautiful post!
Beautiful post. He is getting to just be too cute for his own good!!! :))) I love that you see the beauty in adoption but also the sadness that is around it too. I think he is lucky to have you as a Mama but your just as lucky to be able to call him son.
I have a friend who has adopted two boys form Ethiopia. They planned one one adoption, and on the plane ride home from picking up their son, they were moved to adopt a second time. The boys are almost 6 & 4, and they are already planning on a return trip in 5-7 years. They have started saving now. Obviously, I don't know your financial situation, but maybe by the time Nur is 12, and old enough to really appreciate the culture, you could take a family trip back to Africa? Something to consider...
Awww! He is just the cutest! I think that these feelings comes with any adoption. What a sweet boy you have!!!
Great post. What a blessing that brought you all together. I can see how you would sometimes have mixed feelings with that, but what a joy! He seems to really be flourishing. Thanks for sharing. Heather
I love this thought: "We have altered the course of his life. . . as he has altered the course of ours."
Hopefully you can find ways to keep little pieces of Nur's first home in his life...food, music, stories, etc. And, best of all, perhaps a return trip. Though I think HOME for Nur is with you guys, once he is old enough, I think he'd appreciate seeing where he is from.
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