A couple of weeks ago, I brough my kiddos to an Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE) drop in and play. I was taking their coats off, and a fellow mom of a toddler came up to me to comment on how cute my kids are. I smiled and thanked her. She then asked me if they were twins. I said that they were not, and that I had adopted from Ethiopia. She then asked which one was the adopted one.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't chuckle on the inside and wonder how this woman could ask such a question. Although it's true. . . neither child looks just like me, TT definitely resembles me more than Nur. We can all agree on that, right?
I was telling this story to my mom this past weekend, and my mom said that perhaps this other mom was trying to be politically correct and didn't want to point out that she realized it was Nur I was referring to. Perhaps.
I remember the politically correct "love is color blind." And you know what, Love IS color blind. But that doesn't mean that I'M color blind. So many people think that by acknowledging differences, we are racists, or judgmental based on different races. I used to do that to. I'm from a town where diversity doesn't exist much. I remember a black family visiting town one time as they had relatives there. I was playing with this black girl at the park, when someone approached us and started saying not nice things to my new friend. I remember turning to her and saying, "What? You're black? It doesn't even matter to me so I didn't even notice." Okay. . . I clearly noticed. What I should have said, is that I simply didn't care.
Since becoming a multiracial family, I see the importance of acknowledging the differences. Have open dialogue about them. Acknowledge the beauty in absolutely every shape, size, and color. Acknowledgement isn't judgment.
And let's be honest. . . no one believes for a minute that you didn't notice. We all notice.
5 comments:
Sometimes "politically correct" is just crazy. In fact, sometimes I think that not acknowledging differences is more insulting because the whole point of PC is that it's O.K.that people are different from eachother!
Of course we see color!! It's what makes the world what it is. We need to embrace our differences and respect them. We shouldn't see color to disparage or put others down. My college students and I had a discussion about this very topic on Thursday! We definitely need to embrace and honor our diversity. I love my brown skin and would be offended if I lived in a world where I couldn't embrace it.
(oh, we have been asked if our boys are twins! Levi is very dark and A is Hispanic! They look nothing alike, when people ask we say yes!! Lol)
"Love IS color blind. But that doesn't mean that I'M color blind." This totally cracked me up. :)
To not see color, to not acknowledge it, is to minimize its cultural significance, too. Being "blind", so to speak, can also be disrespectful, you know?
I love your family's diversity. :)
Love the honesty, as always.
Great post, Leah!! Ezra totally knows he is brown. He always tells me that he is the main character in the book, Snowy Day.
And thank you for mentioning me in your guest post. very sweet! And I also sometimes forget that we haven't met since it seems like that isn't possible! :)
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