But let me paint a picture for you. It was our first night home from the hospital. My baby was up screaming. My milk hadn't come in yet, she was hungry, I was tired and hurting. Let me introduce the first time I broke the parenting rule. Exhibit A: The Nuki.
So many beautiful TT pictures are ruined by this big, plastic nuki in her mouth!
But now as TT nears 2 years old. (holy crap! 3 more months!) I have tried to implement the get rid of the nuki plan. Besides the fact that the nuki can cause speech delays and issues with teeth, it's also just not an attractive look, and I hate seeing 3 and 4 year olds with a nuki hanging out of their mouth.
We told the nanny that TT only gets the nuki at nap time. According to our nanny, TT never even asks for her nuki during the day. The minute I get in the door though, and I pick TT up, all I hear is Nuki , nuki, nuki. Sometimes I give in because after a long day at work, I just can't handle the constant whining.
Someone gave me a tip to cut the tip off, so I did that with one of her nuki's yesterday. She still went on sucking it. It kept falling out, and she'd pick it up, and put it right back in.
I'm thinking of going cold turkey when she turns 2, but that just seems so cruel.
If I ever did this baby thing again, I think I would never introduce the nuki!
21 comments:
She is still so cute even with the nuki. :) Don't you love all the parenting rules you end up breaking. I was such the perfect mom before I became a mom. HA! :)
We call it a nuki in our house, too. We also cut the end off, and luckily they didn't want to have anything to do with it after that. It seems like TT will be a challenge! :0) Taylor didn't get rid of hers until after she was 2, but I think the twins were around 18 months. Peyton could take it or leave it most of the time, so I hope she'll be the easiest one. We'll see.
I was just thinking this week about how I totally do all these things that I said I would "never do"! The truth is, you do what you have to do to get through the day in one piece :)
I was a thumb sucker as a kid, and my dad used to put this nasty stuff on my thumb to keep me from wanting to suck it. I would just wash it off the best I could, and then suck the rest off. I won't tell you how old I was before I finally quit, but I will say I was still in elementary school, and I kept it well hidden from the other kids.
What I'm getting at is maybe you can make the nuki taste bad. Its worth a shot, right?
We weaned A from it until she only got it at bed time. Then we started talking about the "soo-soo" fairy who comes when you're a big girl. She takes your soo-soo and leaves you with a present.
She fell for it and being without the pacifier ended up being waaaay easier than I had feared!
Good luck!!
I was so thankful that Noah was never obsessed with the soother, and then managed to just get rid of it on his own already at 9 months. I wasn't even trying!
I think it's all fine and good to say you'll never give your kid a pacifier. But then you actually HAVE a kid, and some kids just need them!
I also am a hater of paci/nuki whatever you want to call them. Of course my nephews both had them and one is almost 5, why it bothers me I don't knwo but it drives my crazy. Maya never had one, Benjamin was also a screamer but as a little baby started gettting too attached so I took it away. Now he is 1, my plan is to take it away as soon as he gets in his next set of teeth, now he doens't have it ever unless it sleeping time, but still it bugs me. I will go cold turkey. I think its easier for them to know that it is gone and thats all there is to it, when you break then they start realizing they can break you down and they have a hard time figuring out when gone is really gone. Maya was very very attached to her bottles, mainly because when we were living in Guatemala she would not eat it was awful, but I figured outafter a bout or rotovirus that she would drink anything. So she had food bottles, one day I told her no more they are gone and that was that at 18 months old. Good Luck!
I'm not in your shoes, but just a thought... Following what you've already started, nuki only at naps/bed, could you try only allowing nuki in her crib? If she asks for it from you, say sure and place her in her crib. If she whines to get out, explain that nuki stays in her crib, take it and her out. If she whines for it again, back in the crib. Maybe its over simplifying it, but its something to try! Best of luck!
Cold turkey worked well for us. My son was a bit over 2 (we waited until DH was back from deployment) but I was amazed at how well he did. He was a little sad and made a sad face and whimpered a bit, but basically I told him boppy (what he started calling it, not sure why?!?) was all gone and he seemed to understand and it only took a weekend before he stopped asking about it.
Good luck with getting rid of it. My youngest son liked them but only the Mickey Mouse one would do. I don't think he used it past 9 or 12 months or so.
I have a friend who took the "Paci Fairy" approach. Her son was a little older than TT, but they wrapped up all of his pacis in a pretty gift box and left it for the Paci Fairy as a treat, and the Paci Fairy left him some kind of gift in exchange. It totally worked for him. Of course, he was older, and I don't know how much a 2yo would understand...but if she's older and is still all about the nuki, maybe a Nuki Fairy visit would be in order? :)
P.S. She is darling, nuki and all! :)
Emma pretty much only used her paci at nap time and bed time. Leading up to her 2nd birthday, I started talking a lot about how when you turn 2, the paci has to go away. I'd mention it most days when I gave it to her and I think she started believing that it was just the way it was. So, sure enough, when she turned 2, I took the paci and let her put it on my dresser. I told her that if she slept without it, she could have a treat in the morning. As soon as we got her up the next morning, she asked for her treat. We did that for a few days and then finally she just forgot all about it. Hopefully it will be as easy for you...fingers crossed. Thankfully Kate doesn't take a paci, but it is going to be much harder to cut her fingers off!
MY youngest two got their "choo-choo" at nap time and bed time only at about 18 months. WE got rid of it completely at about 2 1/2. If she doesn't need it with the nanny, then she doesn't need it with you either. I know it's terrible to hear the screaming, but she will catch on. My niece was the same way. No paci all day at day care, then my sister would pick her up and she desperately needed it! I watched her one day, and I implemented the same. Oh, the tantrum she threw! Eventually, she got over it, and we were friends again. Stand firm, Mamma, this too, shall pass!
I love the picture of TT getting upset because of the pacificer. The face that Nur is making is priceless! :)
We lucked out, both Colby & Zoe aren't pacifier users and never have been. Sydney is another story and I have a feeling taking that from her will be BRUTAL. Come up with a good plan for TT that I can use in the future! :)
Hey Leah!
First let me say that I have missed you and this blog. I seem to have abandoned mine, as life is just too crazy and I can't seem to get it all figured out ;) Anway, I think of you and your miracles ALL THE TIME and I MISS YOU!
Regarding that paci...I apologised for Lleyton having his and to my amazement a Grandmother chimed in and said this "I'm so sick of parents apologising for their babies having paci's...what is the big deal? It's certainly not the worst habit a child can develop...mama, you need to worry about something that is worth worrying about! Hum, I guess she told me! I left that store laughing and now when Lleyton wants his "pappy" I let him have it. I'll deal with weaning him another day :)
She will eventually give it up...for now, seriously, its really not a big deal. Go lightly on yourself Mama!
xoxo
Andrea
Hi there. Viktor is also obsessed. As in he has a pile of them with him when he sleeps and he even holds them. Last night I saw him put two in his mouth. I hate to take something away that gives him so much comfort. He only gets them at night, during nap time and when he is sick.
I forgot to throw in my comment what my cousin did. Her older daughter was stuck on her paci so when she turned 2 or 3, probably 3 she told her on her birthday they were goign to go to build a bear, she could choose whatever stuffed animal she wanted, but when they filled it the paci was going inside the bear. That way she would still have it to sleep with but not in her mouth.
Just a thought or something along those lines. As long as you don't give in after you do whatever you do they should only be mad for a while, normally when they see you won't cave its done with.
US TOO! I was so excited b/c I just knew that Jai would not have had one in Ethiopia so we wouldn't have that battle. Guess who was the only kid I ever saw with one at his care facility? YEP! Luckily he only wants it to sleep at night. And now he falls asleep with it and then I take it out, but if he stirs at all during the night, he can't fall back asleep without it. Thus I'm up several times a night b/c he's in such a stupor he can't find it when it falls out. UGH. So ready for some sleep for him and me! I know if he could let it go, he'd sleep better.
pacis with kids older than two used to bug me, until i had one who really really needs it sometimes. he is almost four and he has a lot of anxiety and it has just not felt right. it took until 2.6 to get it down that he can only have it in his bed, but here we are, almost four, and he still gets it in bed. i always thought i'd be embarassed or a terrible parent about this and guess what: i don't care. i don't feel it negatively impacts him. his little brothers are likely going to be sucking their fingers for YEARS. just because his way to soothe is the paci. there is NO way he ever would have fallen asleep as a baby without it. ever. we've talked about the paci fairy. who worked great for my first kid at age 2. she went cold turkey and didn't look back. the paci fairy eventually will come help him take it away. he knows it's coming. but he is going to be the one who says he is ready. cold turkey isn't going to work for my emotional kid. -- you do what you got to do. just make sure you take it away because it's what you want and think she needs, not because "its what one is supposed to do." i won't judge. :) sorry this is so long...
I hate to say it- but the pacifer is also a parents pacifer... easy way to calm. I can say that because my oldest had the pacifier habit. Went cold turkey at 2. Hardest thing ever. Was so afraid I'd cave- took all the pacifiers that morning and shoved them deep in the garbage. 24 hours later- pacifier free. You can do it!
Did it cold turkey when my daughter was just over two. First two nights were rough but we stayed strong and she's never used one since. Of course she did longingly look at other kids pacifiers for quite some time.
I had her throw them in the trash so she knew they were gone.
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