One Year Ago

One year ago today, I remember sitting in Ethiopia, getting ready to return home with my son Nur.  A year ago, October 17th was a Saturday, and unfortunately our plane didn't leave until approximately 10pm local time.  We had to check out of our guesthouse around noon, so all the families there together chipped in to keep one room so we could all hang out in that one room for the day and wait until it was time to leave for the airport.

I sat Nur in his crib, directly in front of the TV that got one channel, so I could pack a bit.  Everytime he would see me, he would smile.  He still didn't know who I was, but I think even at this point, he realized I was going to be someone special in his life.

I don't know if I've ever experienced a longer day.  The day you leave a trip is filled with so much anticipation. I knew the long traveling we all had in front of us.  I missed my 3 month old TT so much, that I could almost feel my heart breaking right through my chest.  Without a doubt, I have never felt so much hurt and so much love, all at the same time.  I pray continents NEVER divide me from my kids again. It was too much to bear.

All the families hung out.  We all spent time going through our suitcases, making sure we had everything we needed.  Making sure we had all of the important paperwork, and making sure we had plenty of diapers and food for our children.  One man I met on the trip who traveled alone while his wife stayed with their daughter back home, had to run to the local store to get diapers, so we were entrusted with watching his beautiful daughter for about 15 minutes.

Nur really liked this girl, and we've been lucky enough to get to see her since our return home.  While in Ethiopia, we had to be leniant on the bonding process.  We were in a foreign country, and we all needed help. I knew I would become stricter once I arrived home with Nur.

It was finally time to go to the airport, and we all got in the van with the kids on our laps.  I always thought traveling with a child on my lap, in a moving vehicle would feel really unsafe.  But ironically, it didn't.  We got to the airport, much too early and we sat.  It felt strange being in Ethiopia, holding my Ethiopian son, and being so aware that I was about to remove him from his country. I experienced such a wide array of emotions.

It was finally time to board the plane.  Being that it was so late, Nur slept almost the entire way to Amsterdam in the bassinet that the airline provided.  My mom and I slept almost the entire way as well.  Approximately 6 hours later, we landed in Amsterdam, and it was very early in the morning there.  This was the point of the trip where all of the wonderful American families I had met were going to head off in different directions.  I was lucky that I only had one more flight ahead of me. . . a flight that would take me directly to Minneapolis, and my waiting family.  Most families had 2 more flights ahead of them.

Our 4 hour layover seemed like it took forever.  My Mom was starting to feel very poorly. Her ears were killing her, and she was completely losing her voice.  I was exhausted, and Nur was confused.  It was FINALLY time to board our final plane.  I've taken the trip from Amsterdam to Minneapolis several times, yet the flight never seemed so long.  Nur was awake for almost the entire thing, my Mom was in so much pain she was clutching both ears, and was rendered useless to me.  I longed to be reunited with TT, to assure her that even though I left her for 8 days, that I was still her mama and loved her so very very much.  I JUST WANTED TO BE HOME. And that 9 hour flight could not have seemed any longer.

We landed in Minneapolis, and got off that plane as soon as we could, only to get in a very long line of people going through immigration.  Someone motioned us forward, and told us we could skip the line because we had a young child.  We gave the immigration officer Nur's sealed package, and he went through each document.  He then congratulated us on the adoption of our son, and we were through.  We got our bags, went down an elevator, and as soon as we got out of the elevator, I saw our family waiting for us.  T was there, holding TT.  Little 3 month old TT had a purple headband on, and a brand new purple outfit T had gotten during our week away.  I saw my Dad, and my sister S, her husband R, and daughter C.  I saw T's brother and his brother's wife, and two children, holding balloons.  I was holding Nur and literally ran through the doors.  T took Nur and I grabbed TT from him and head her tight.  She felt so light. . . so little, next to that 15 pound Nur I had been holding for days.  I nuzzled my head in hers and sobbed.  Just sobbed.  My sobs were for so many different reasons.  Perhaps I was overly tired, or perhaps my favorite and safest place in the world is with my family, and after years of waiting, the four of us were together. 

We have coined today "Nur Day" in our family.  Today after work, we'll be taking the kids to Chucky E Cheese to celebrate.  I can't wait to share pictures later this week.

Feeling very blessed today to be where I am.