A couple of weeks ago, my local paper ran a large, two part series, on adoption. The first part of the story can be read here, and the second part of the story here.
The story wasn't one of those happy, fuzzy, warm stories about the gift of adoption. Instead, it focused on the dark and corrupt situations that can happen during international adoption. I cannot tell you how many people called me when they read the article, saved the paper for me, or asked me if I read the articles. The story featured in these articles is heartbreaking. My heart goes out to the woman who wanted to be a Mom, prepared for it, bought clothes, cribs, and set up a nursery, only to end up not being able to adopt those children.
I did read the articles, and what I read was scary. T and I's adoption agency has done a really good job at preparing us for the downside of international adoption. I am also very happy to say that before we choose an agency, we did a lot of research. I cannot tell you how happy I am that we did. One of our agency finalists is one of the adoption agencies mentioned frequently in these articles. I was initially drawn to this agency because of their size (very small agency) and because of the wait time to get matched with a child was very small. . . probably the shortest time I've seen of any agency. The woman mentioned frequently in these articles is one I shared many phone calls and emails with. Everytime I had a question, this woman would email me back immediately or give me a phone call. It seemed like a good agency.
I cannot even tell you why T and I decided on a different agency. Maybe we have a little bit of luck on our side? After we signed with our agency, we learned that they are hague accredited. I wasn't specifically looking for that, but once again, I had luck on my side.
Adoption is a really big deal in my home state of MN. Minnesotans adopts the most children than any other state in the country. I'm really proud to be from a state with that wonderful statistic. Because adoption is so common in this state, this article received a lot of attention.
As with everything in life, there are no guarantees. T and I trust that we are working with a good and reputable agency, but things can always go wrong. We are paying all of this non-refundable money, and tomorrow, the country we are adopting from could close their doors to international adoption. There are many unknowns, and at times this whole process can feel very risky.
Daily I try to let go of the things I can't control. And I know I can't control the stability of international adoption. I just hope and pray that the it stays stable so T and I can bring home our little monkey.
8 comments:
This situation is exactly why we chose our agency. We had read about so many unethical and blatantly illegal situations - and wanted to make sure we were in good hands throughout this process. I know it won't mean we won't hit road blocks or bumps, but at least we have faith that our agency is honest, ethical and working to uphold the best interests of the children, birth families and adoptive families at the same time!
That must have been nerve-wracking to have so many people approach you about that article!! It looks like God led you to the agency which is perfect for you instead of the other one in the article- I'm still praying your adoption journey is short and smooth!
Oh Leah--
I hate when you tell someone you're adopting and they start telling you about the horror stories they have heard! Ugh, not very nice.
But, we know what we're getting into! We're up for the challenge and at the right time we'll be mothers! I'm glad you didn't choose the agency mentioned though!
I am glad that you guys did your homework so well up front and that it is a relief now. It is really sad that people try to capitalize on other people's feelings, emotions, and dreams. I am so glad you didn't go with this agency.
I was just talking about adoption cooruption with someone yesterday. It's an awful thing.
While we waited on Russia in the beginning I was contacted by someone from an agency through my blog telling me they had a child for me and could send me there picture right away if we wanted to use them. I knew that's not the way Russia works and was very skeptic of it but the desire to be a mom is so strong that I understand why people go into those kind of situations. When it all looks too good to be true in the promises many times it is.
going to read those now!
I'm so thankful you feel peace and confidence in your agency! Praying your journey to your child is a very smooth one.
oh, leah.
what a bummer to read this article.
but!
the town i live in is a community where adoption is so normal and accepted. i know personally many (i can think of 15 or more off the top of my head), many families who have adopted children of all ages very successfully and smoothly. the large portion are domestic adoptions, but i know personally two families who have completed international adoptions - 2 adoptions from guatamala and one from korea.
we also have 5 adopted children on Ben's side of our family.
so - there are a LOT of happy adoption stories. a LOT of them!
and you two are doing your research and doing your best to do things right. hang in there. God knows exactly what baby you need and when you need him.
and in reference to one of your recent posts about loving or bonding with an adopted baby - i think it doesn't matter how we get our children - v-birth, c-section, adoption - there is room in your heart for as many children as God gives you, and you will bond with and love your little guy - and so will your family. i know it.
hugs to you!
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