Last night I was laying in bed, watching Dancing with the Stars. When it ended, I didn't turn the TV off fast enough, and quickly got sucked into a show called Find my Family that ABC was airing. I had no intention of watching it, as I thought bed sounded more appealing, but I quickly got sucked in, and spent the next 30 minutes with tears running down my face.
Find my Family is a show about adoption. It tells both sides of the story. . . The birth families who gave up the child for adoption, as well as the adoptive child's side. Last night's story was beautiful. A 16 year old girl got pregnant, and she and her partner realized that they couldn't provide for their child, so they gave their daughter up for adoption. This young couple ended up getting married and having 3 more children, so the daughter they gave up had 3 biological siblings.
What was amazing to me, is the adoptive child (now a 30 year old woman) had no animosity towards her birth parents. Instead, this woman was raised with love in her home, and she and her parents often prayed for her birth parents.
Before T and I looked into adoption, I didn't realize people had mixed feelings about it. I always assumed that everyone thought adoption was a good thing. I was wrong. There are many people out there who belittle birth mom's for giving up a child for adoption, and have nasty comments towards adoptive parents who are looking for alternate ways to start a family.
There are so many mixed opinions out there, but I still think adoption is a wonderful thing. I think birth parents who make the decision to give a child up for adoption are the most selfless people this world has to offer. They don't make the decision out of abandonment. They make the decision out of love.
I look forward to watching this show as I think it is a beautiful depiction of what adoption is truly about.
13 comments:
i forgot that started last night... i was going to try to catch some of it. i'm glad it was good! i, also, never realized how many anti-adoption people there are... it blows my mind!
An old friend of mine recently adopted and she said her birth mother would get negative comments. I think those words come from people who are very narrow minded and who have no problem conceiving on their own or who do not want children. I feel like people who think that way must be very lonely, bitter people. I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round.
Adoption is a beautiful thing for everyone, even though it can be painful for all involved. It IS an act of love from everyone. I am glad you are embarking on this adventure to build your family.
I've seen the promos for that show and I've also heard a lot of the adoption community denounce it, but I'm glad to hear what you thought after watching it. The critics I've heard have said that it basically ignores the adoptive family (even the title, "Find My Family" makes it sound like the adoptee doesn't have a family at all), but it doesn't sound like that's what you saw. Good to know!
Kelly,
That is my one issue with the show. I think more attention should have been shown to the adoptive family. At one point when the young woman met her birth parents, she was introduced to them by the show as her parents. That bugged me. To me, her parents were the ones who raised her since birth. I was a bit bothered that there wasn't the distinction there.
I think adoption is a beautiful thing for both families involved.
It is a selfless act to give your child to someone that can better provide for them, and it is a selfless act to love and raise a child that doesn't share the same genes.
You and your husband are amazing people for being open to adoption, and I pray that you never let the naysayers get you down.
I would be careful about using the terms "giving up a child for adoption" the history behind these words is very hurtful, and is negative "adoption language". We choose to say the birthmother made a adoption plan.
I too got pulled into that show last night...and the tears were flowing!!!
Cameron and Megan,
Thank you for that correction. I definitely don't want to offend anyone with my words. Adoption plan is definitely the better wording.
You did not offend me, but just think how it may sound to a birthmother or adoptive child. "Give up" implies a lack of value or caring by the birthmother (this is not the intent behind the words, but can be heard in that way!).
Just found your blog. What a beautiful journey you are on. While I'm sure it can be frustrating at time, I hope that it brings you great joy and happiness!
I had seen the ads for that show and was also a little hurt that the titled implied the child didn't have a family. I was very curious about it though so thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts. I did know from the previews that if I watched it I would need a box of Kleenex!! :) Have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving!!
I'm glad you liked the show. I watched it as well.
You commented that you wished they showed more of the adoptive families story. They will in other episodes. Sometimes it's the adoptee doing the searching so we'll see that side as well.
They are her parents! But if you noticed whenever the adoptee referred to them it was as her birthparents.
My hope is that this show will shed some light on the true emotions in adoption for all the triad members. I hope it stays around.
i have no animosity towards my birth mother. it took me into adulthood to feel that way. but I love my parents and had she not left me (which is what happened in my situation) I wouldnt be me.
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