- Fill out application
- Meet with social worker in home
- Meet with social worker in office
- Attend adoption classes
- Finish homestudy
- Get fingerprints
- File the I600A
- Complete Dossier
The list goes on and on and on. I remember each step so clearly too. When we were trying to finish our homestudy and having interviews with our Social Worker, I kept thinking, this is definitely the hardest part of adoption. Having someone come in our home and interview us, someone asking us a million very personal questions. Yes, this is definitely the hardest step.
Once our homestudy was completed we started on our Dossier. There was so much paperwork to fill out, it was overwhelming. And so much of the paperwork we had to rely on other people for, which made it even harder. I remember mailing our Dossier to our adoption agency in October, and thinking that the hardest part was definitely behind us. Now all we had to do was sit and wait. That would be easy.
For 5 and a half months, we waited. And honestly, it wasn't that difficult. Our adoption, although real, still felt abstract in some ways. Days passed quickly as T and I had very busy social calendars, a lot of doctor's appointments, family gatherings, and other things that kept us really busy. Our five and a half months on the waiting list passed rather quickly.
Two weeks ago from today, we received our referral of the most beautiful boy T and I have ever seen. These last two weeks have been awful as we wait by our phone and email to hear when our court date will be. When we can make this beautiful boy legally our son. His picture is the wallpaper on my mobile, the backdrop of my computer, hanging on the refridgerator. His picture is everywhere, and I glance at it no less than 100 times a day. I look into his big chocolate colored eyes. I memorize every little crease on his body. I try to imagine what he was thinking in the moment his picture was taken.
Now that T and I have been placed with a baby, our adoption is a lot less abstract. No, now it's completely real. There is a real person in this world who if everything goes right, will become our son. I spend my days thinking about him. Is he being held when he cries. Is he eating enough? Is he being soothed and comforted? Is he getting any attention at all? How much longer will he need to be in the orphanage before we can bring him home? Is he healthy? Is he happy?
Now that we have seen his picture, the wait is excrutiating. We still need to wait to get a court date, and once we have that, we'll need to wait for an embassy date. We are thinking we'll have him home in August or September. Hoping.
I've now almost been through every step of the adoption, and THIS WAITING is definitely the hardest step.
16 comments:
Oh yes, the waiting is sooo hard. I remember that quite well - but the moment you have him firmly, safely and lovingly in your arms - all those months, weeks, days, minutes of waiting will fade into the background.
So excited for you!
i've heard that this part of the wait is the absolute hardest... i imagine that now with the two trips, the wait between trips is even harder. praying you get a court date SOOOOOON!
Hang in there, Leah! This will all be a blip on your radar once that precious boy is in your arms. :)
God bless,
Andi
Sorry I haven't been around. You have been in the forefront of my thoughts this past week. I keep saying even if I don't blog, I NEED to get on and see what is going on with you!
I would imagine this part of the process IS the most excruciating. I can totally understand how you would think and feel all of these emotions. I feel them right with you. Please someone, cuddle the baby when he needs to be cuddled. Feed him well. Take good care of him until his mom and dad can come get him.
My favorite thing to think about is he has no idea how much love he is in for. He is about to get the biggest gift of his life, and I am so excited for him to receive it.
I can't wait until you get dates and you can start a new ticker!
Waiting IS the hardest part of it all. I hope your wait ends up being shorter rather than longer.
Very excited for you!
I hear time and time again how incredibly beyond-difficult this part of the wait is. I can't even imagine, although I know someday I will experience it myself. Hang in there.
The waiting would be so hard! I cannot even imagine. Hope you get your court date very soon.
Hey Leah! I would say I am definitely still in the honeymoon phase of receiving the referral but I know the longer I wait for our court date the harder it will get. Did your agency give you an average timeframe to expect to wait for a court date? Our agency said 2 months is average. I am also curious if the courts are a little backed up at the moment because of the big rush to get files submitted before the two trip deadline. I have no proof of that but just wondering. Thank goodness we have each other to help and encourage get through this part! XOXOXOXO
This waiting is terrible. Knowing your boy is out there and there is nothing you can do to expedite things. It hurts.
Oh the waiting...I can't imagine how much harder it is since he's already born and you have pictures! I hope you get to bring him home SOON!!
I don't know a lot about adoption. When you go to your court date the first time, will you be allowed to visit your son?
What an amazing feeling that would be to hold him and rock him and make it feel real. Even my most stressed out days just go straight away the minute I sit in the rocking chair with my twins and kiss their fingers and stroke their baby fine hair. Oh Leah, I can't wait for you to feel that feeling.. it's all happening very soon :)
I know the waiting must be so hard. I hope you know more soon. I never want to seem rude and this isn't meant to be, but a lot of what you said hit home with me because I am a birthmother. Is my daughter still alive? Is she happy? Is she being loved? Does she know that she is adopted? Is she being locked in the closet? When your worried about your child or in your soon to be child your imagination can do some horrible things to you. I can remember being so full of this ache in my stomach of worry. I am so happy for you and I hope things continue to go smoothly in this hard process.
Waiting, that may be my least favorite word in the whole world!! As we wait for our birthmother to go into labor. Just waiting. Who knows if it will be early, or late, or what. And the waiting does do horrible things to your mind!
All I can say is you and T are both in my prayers! Wish I had more to give, but knowing that someone understands somewhat does usually help me!
I'm so happy that you should be getting your baby boy soon! I'll be praying that the process goes quickly and the days will go by fast so you can be together.
I'm with you. I thought the waiting for a referral was hard but honestly this is waiting for travel call is the hardest thing I've had to do. I have good days and bad days. I'm praying that you will get some information soon!
Awww:):) I am just so happy for you two!! I can't wait till for you to find out a court date!!! :):):) I just sure wish you could share his pic..:( I know he is the most handsome lil guy ever!!!!
Post a Comment