I know we have time on our side, and when I find myself stressing about daycare too heavily, I remind myself of how much time we have, but I'm still the type of person that likes things in order and figured out. And our daycare is NOT figured out.
We have a center less than a mile from our house. It would be ideal because it's on my way to work, it looks like a great and safe place for the kids, and did I mention it's less than a mile from our house? I had called this center previously and quickly found out that T and I would not be able to afford full time for two infants. Good to know!
In the meantime, my MIL (T's Mama) said that she just assumed she would take them. Hmm, hadn't considered that. She lives about 10 miles away from us, in the opposite direction of our works, but we'd be saving SO much money, it would be worth it. But then the more T and I thought of that, the more we realized it would be so hard for his parents to take 2 infants all day long. I have bloggy friends who are only 30 years old, and struggle with two babies. How would a woman in her 60's handle it? I just think it would be too much.
So then T and I got to thinking that maybe we could split the week up. The babies could go to MIL's 3 days a week, and then the above mentioned center two days a week. So, I contacted the center yesterday to find out their rates for two days a week. Well, it would be $188.00 per child for 2 days of daycare a week. Multiply that by two babies, and we're looking at $376.00 a week. Multiply that by 4 weeks, and we're looking at approximately $1,500 a month. And did I mention that is for 2 days of daycare???
Obviously, a home daycare would be much more affordable. The issue with home daycares is most make you be full time. Meaning we'd have to bring the babies their 5 days a week. We don't necessarily want that, because we'd like them to have a couple of days with their grandparents every week.
In the last post I did about daycare, some people asked why we didn't go out to the suburbs as daycare is cheaper. It is DEFINITELY cheaper outside of the city, but. . . well. . . It is really important for us that our children are in a diverse daycare. We are a multicultural family, and we want our children to grow up with as much exposure as possible. I hate to make my stereotypes, but suburbs in MN are pretty darn white. And the suburbs we'd have to travel to aren't the suburbs that border the city, they are far out suburbs. So, the cheaper price would definitely need to more than make up for how far out of the way we would have to drive twice a day. And, MN has the second highest daycare rates in the country. . . second to only NY.
We will still look into a nanny, but most nannies require that you pay their vacation time, benefits, and things like that, so in the long run, that can end up costing more as well.
Decisions. . . Decisions.
16 comments:
Daycare isn't much cheaper in the burbs. Minnesota has the second highest daycare costs in the country, second only to NY. It is ridiculous. I did a lot of looking and am familiar with a lot of the centers on the East Side, if I can be of any help. We chose not to go the route of an in-home daycare b/c I am an overly anxious mama, but we couldn't afford two infants in a center at all. Good luck to you.
I know this daycare issue is a big one...we're dealing with it too.
We have a 16mo bio son who spends all 5 days at home. Mondays, I work from home, Tues/Wed my mom comes over to watch him, Thur/Fri we hired a nanny to watch him. This has been the routine since he was 4mo (when I went back to work fulltime).
Now that Ella will be coming home, we needed to figure out a new plan (since, like you said, 2 babies is tough for 60-something's). My mom will no longer watch the kids - only on off days when we need extra help or for things like when the nanny call's in sick. Our Thur/Fri nanny said she'd be happy to watch both kids, which is good, but now we need to decide if we can afford to hire a 2nd nanny for Tues/Thur, if a care center would be cheaper for those 2 days or if there's another option.
We're still trying to figure it all out w/o it costing a fortune. Unfortunately, there aren't many options that are cheap and reliable and up to my standards. ;-)
Let us know what you decide to do...I'm very curious about this subject.
Daycare is SOOOOO expensive. For us we had my mom to watch my son until he was almost a year old. Then for our needs and what fit best for us--I quit my job and became a stay at home mom. Things were REALLY tight but we managed and it all just seemed to work out.
You're probably going to have to bite the bullet and pay 5-day-a-week rate for both kids somewhere. Our daycare doesn't even have a daily rate, it's all week rate or nothing. It doesn't mean that you MIL can't keep them on Fridays...you'll just be paying for it. It might actually be a good thing to have that security of if your MIL is sick or out of town or just worn out they could still go to the center or in-home center because they're paid for!
Also, the security of having your MIL available to take the kids when they're sick and you're not missing work...PRICELESS. We have spent SO much vacation and sick time for sick baby this past year it's UNREAL. Ear infections mostly, but daycare centers will call you to pick them up for just about anything. In-home centers are the same AND you run the risk of the caretaker being sick or needing to see a doctor, etc.
But my advice would be to just move forward understanding you'll be paying a 5-day-a-week rate.
John and I just talked last night about how much daycare would be this year with two. It's more than our mortgage payment! But I wouldn't change a thing because Colt LOVES his teachers, loves his friends, he is provided nutritious meals, and a routine that is beautiful even through the weekend. It's worth every penny.
Also, our daycare provides formula up to a year, babyfood up until they're on table food, then provides regular meals. So breakfast and lunch, snacks and bottles are ALL covered in the cost so you might try to find a place that covers some of those other expenses to help. Church-run daycares are typically cheaper, very warm and cozy, and doesn't ALWAYS mean religious education.
ALSO...where they go the first year is so much about love, care, and schedule...so maybe find the right place for an infant for a year and buy you some more time to figure out the multi-cultural piece. Just a thought...
I don't think a home daycare would insist that you bring the babies everyday... they might insist that you PAY for everyday, but the babies could still spend a day or two with grandparents. My parents always want at least one day a week with my daughter through the summer so while I pay the same, my daughter has one fun day with Grandma and Grandpa!
I worry about this ALL THE TIME!! I have no idea what we are going to do. My salary is also pretty stinky so it feels like the amount I bring home after traditional daycare is paid for doesn't seem worth it. We have a friend in town who plans on being a SAHM once she brings her child home from ET and has offered to watch our kid and some other adopted kids from our group. This is a good scenario but her agency wait times are WAY longer so we may end up getting home first. So needless to say I worry about it. Email me anytime if you want to vent who understands the worry!!
Wow! How stressful! I hope you find the perfect place, I wouldn't even know where to begin!
What about a part time Nanny. I was a Nanny in college and LOVED it. You can negoiate days and price and still get quality one on one care for the babies!
I knew some girls in college who were PT nannies.
I have to say, hearing you talk about it makes me grateful to be able to stay home. When I was working, I looked into it, just for the heck of it, with Nick and Sophie (even though the plan was to SAHM) and it was going to be, at a church nursery school, $2400 a month for both of them!
i don't know if this is an option or not... our friend does this with her one child and i know it was much cheaper for her than daycare... a local church has a 1/2 day "mother's morning out" program that runs 5 days a week. she has her daughter in that every morning until like 12:00 or 1:00. could you find something like that and then your MIL could pick them up? that way it's only a 1/2 day for your MIL? just a thought!
Wow, I can't believe how expensive daycare is for two kids! I hope that as you keep looking you will be able to find something that fits well with your family.
Frustrating! Would it be possible for T's mom to watch the kids at your house to save you the time of taking them the opposite direction from you work? I realize that doesn't solve your biggest worry, which is about her ability to handle two babies at her age, but at least it would cut back on unnecessary travel.
That is the only thing I have as far as thoughts in your situation. It seems like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. The rates for even two days is seriously steep. I'd crap a brick (sorry for that). I think that in your situation your being proactive right now is the best game plan. You'll get it figured out before the kids get here.
Ah yes. I think is why so many people decide to be stay at home moms. The money issue. Such a tough one. My brother and his wife live in Baltimore and the amount of money they spend on daycare sickens me. Day care, not a nanny, but a day care. I hope it all works out for you.
Yea, this is where I'm at also, except I think I'm going to just stay home because a. I really want to, and b. because most of my salary would be spent on daycare. (Isn't that sad for a degreed, salaried, licensed teacher!)
I'd love to hear what kind of prices you get on home daycare, because I might do that to supplement some of our money, and because that is what we'll do if the whole dream of staying at home doesn't pan out.
It's definitely stressful.
So, are you 16 weeks now also?
would your job have the option of working 3 or 4 days a week?
i have a friend who had triplets and she went back to work 4 days a week. she has her MIL watching the girls 2 days a week and her neighbor the other 2 days a week. and they both watch the girls at her house. then she's home with them 3 days . . .
my other thought was what one of the girls mentioned - a nanny. my sis nannied through college and she was awesome at it!
i know child-care - however you go about it - is expensive. but! i used to work at a daycare, and it used to really bother me when parents would complain about how much it cost. granted, i was low on the pay-totem-pole, but i was getting paid min. wage (which was 5.15) to love, nurture, care for, feed, have fun with, hug, hold, comfort, be silly with, teach, you know - do all the mom stuff - one other lady (she was making 8.something an hour) and I - were mothering 16 - 18 kiddos every day, and we weren't worth more than that? really? aren't your kids worth more than that? --- this is just me venting a bit. but also saying it isn't cheap to run a day-care. and like most things in life, you get what you pay for. you really do.
to me, you find child-care that you can love and trust and you pay the cost because you care that much about your child. or. you stay home with your children. because you care that much about them. or, you find a compromise in the middle. you work fewer days a week or shorter days so your MIL can watch them and you know exactly what sort of an environment they are in. and you get to be with them more. after all. if they are in day-care 5 days a week, that doesn't leave much family time. especially when you and T will still want to have some date-nights and outings just the two of you. cause you'll need that.
so. this is just me. thinking out loud. i don't know if you've thought any more about staying home with your little people. but i have to say - even on the days when it's so exasperating - hanging out with my kiddos is so very wonderful. and knowing that your MIL is close and would be happy to give you a break or come hang out with you at your place - that could be really super awesome!
Elizabeth,
Thanks for the suggestions.
Unfortunately though, daycare isn't always so black and white.
It isn't as black and white as, pay the money, or stay home. One, T and I can't simply afford $2,500 a month. We don't have that kind of extra money. And two, I can't afford to NOT work outside of the home. Good for those women who can, but my husband and I both received very expensive college educations, not to mention grad school, and I'm afraid we'll be paying those back for quite some time.
I appreciate the suggestions however, but not realistic for my life.
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