I cannot thank you all enough for your kind and thoughtful remarks to this post. You all gave me such wonderful perspective.
I read all of the comments and really put a lot of thought into what each one of you said in response to my post.
A reaccuring theme that I saw is that pregnancy is more real for people, because in 9 months, there will be a baby. But with adoption, there are so many uncertainties.
That is very interesting to me. I realize that is how most people think, but I also realize that I am not most people. You see, someone who struggles to get pregnant, changes. . . drastically. Everything about me in the past 1.5 years has changed. I used to have a "can do" attitude, but that all changed. I became a part of a community of people struggling to get pregnant, and of pregnancy loss. Through all of this, I realized that getting pregnant also doesn't guarantee that you'll have a baby in 9 months. For some, they never bring home a baby.
There are uncertainties in both adoption and pregnancy. Neither one is a guarantee that a baby will join a family in the end. All we can do is hope and pray that that is the outcome.
Thanks again for the support I always feel from this wonderful community. And tomorrow, I promise a happy and uplifting post. :-D
8 comments:
There are uncertainties on both sides for sure. I just think people feel that more often than not someone who announces a pregnancy will bring home a baby in 9 months.
I don't think it matters how you build your family as long as you achieve your dream of parenthood.
Leah - I just read the previous post and this post and I wanted to thank you for speaking so honestly and openly. I know when we told some people we were adopting I felt robbed of a moment. I know if I had told them I was pregnant they would have given me hugs and screamed with joy. It has been something really hard to deal with, especially when we got muted responses from some people close to us. I know that if I did ever achieve a pregnancy it would be hard to see the differences in the way you are now. I read most of the comments on your previous post and I agree that I think a lot of people respond in a negative way out of fear and ignorance. You are certainly in a unique position where you are expecting in two very different ways. Again, thank you so much for your honesty!!!
I'm with you on the thoughts about pregnancy not being a sure thing, either. So many people assume that pregnancy = baby, and don't understand how fragile pregnancy can be. I'm glad you got some great feedback on your post. It was a great post and I appreciated your honesty.
Oh the things that turn in our heads when you walk this uncertain journey.
Whether you've experienced infertility or loss (or a failed adoption) one feels robbed of the bliss that should accompany having a baby. It's unfortunate, but it's our reality and we can only continue to move forward and stay faithful in realizing our dream.
May the sun continue to shine brightly on your beautiful spirit. The anxiety is normal, just take it day by day, step by step and know that we are all rallying you on :)
Love to you and your growing little bean! So happy for you!
PS I have a friend who walked your same path, she now has 2 children who are 9 months apart and it's beautiful :)
I think half of my brain will be sure that we'll bring home a baby in 9 months, and the other half will be worried silly. I think these posts have been a great insight into what you're going through right now- it's awesome that you're handling it all (good and bad) so gracefully!
This post and the previous one has been a real eye opener to me. I'm thinking through my background and all of my friends and now that I think about it, other than in the blog world, I have only been around one person who adopted. She was a co worker and let me tell you, a person would have to be crazy to not share in her joy every step of the way. I am so sorry about the hurt and misunderstanding that seems to go along with adoption. I can't claim to understand why someone wouldn't be overjoyed at the news of a child of whatever age being given a home. You are courageous to speak about your experience so openly and honestly. And I'm thrilled for the two of you for your soon to be family.
You are so right in the fact that not every pregnant woman gets to bring home a baby in 9 months! I think it's wonderful that you are growing your family and documenting it here for your little ones!!
I really appreciated your perspective in these last two posts! Thanks for sharing your heart with us :)
Post a Comment