Perfect Timing

I often think about timing. The past couple of years, I've realized how different my timing can be from what will be reality. Whether you think timing comes from God, or some other higher power. Whether you are spiritual, religious, or just aware that there is something greater out there than ourselves. Whatever this greater power is that controls the timing, this post is for you.

I've mentioned this in previous posts, but my "plan" was to be married for 5 years, and then get pregnant. I figured 5 years would give T and I plenty of time to enjoy life without the responsibility of children. It would allow us to travel the world, be selfish, spend money on the non-practical items, and things of that nature.

So, I'm still not sure that why 3.5 years into our marriage, I got the bug to have children. Badly. And man, I struggled for a year and a half. All the doctor's appointments, all of the discouraging news, the failed treatments, the tears, the heartbreak. It was an extremely difficult year and a half.

And then in August, T and I had already walked away from treatments the previous month. And on August 14th, we celebrated our 5 year anniversary. Then two weeks later, I turned 30. Then a month later, I discovered I was pregnant. 5 years into our marriage. . . I was pregnant.

Wait?

Wasn't that always the plan? Wasn't my "plan" to be married for 5 years and then get pregnant? Did my plan actually work?

Sometimes I wonder if I would have just been patient? What if I would have followed my original plan and waited 5 years like I had originally intended? I often think about all of the heartache I would have saved myself from. But then I realize all of the lessons that I never would have learned. I think about the maturity I wouldn't have gained. And the most important thing, I think about little Khalil, who we would most likely not be on the waitlist for.

Maybe there is a plan for all of our lives? Maybe we all have a lot less control over our circumstances than we realize?

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

And here is a sneak peak at the curtains I picked out for one of the nurseries we are working on.