Changes in the Adoption Process

I have so many posts started because all of a sudden, I have a lot going on, but for today, I thought this issue needed to addressed first.

I've been hearing from some of my blog friends that the Ethiopian adoption process will be changing. Currently for the Ethiopia program, parents only need to travel once. The travel occurs after you have passed court which makes the child legally yours. Parents have never had to be present at court because we have a power of attorney representative in Ethiopia who speaks on our behalf. So, there has always been just one trip to pick up your child, and that trip lasts approximately a week. . . unless of course parents want to extend the trip longer. This was one of T and I's biggest draws to the Ethiopian program. Don't get me wrong. . . we LOVE to travel, and try to find every excuse to do so, but tickets to Ethiopia are not cheap, and we don't get a lot of vacation time at our jobs, so two trips was never practical for us.

Anyway, back to what I've been hearing from my blog friends. I've been hearing that Ethiopia is changing their travel policy, effective immediately. Both parents will now have to go to Ethiopia and attend the court hearing that makes the child officially yours. Then the parents need to travel back to Ethiopia for the visa appointment. (it's usually not possible to just stay the entire time because the visa appointment may be a month or so after the court date)

When I heard this, I frantically called my adoption agency as I hadn't heard anything about these changes. I was praying I was hearing false information, but my blog friends heard this directly from their agency, so I feared it was true. My agency told me that the decision isn't 100% for sure yet, but it is definitely leaning that way, and we should know for sure by the end of the week. Basically my agency told me that we should plan for it though. I think that's a good indication that this will be happening for sure.

The reason for the change is because there have been instances of adoptive parents going over to Ethiopia to pick up their child, and remember, the child is already legally theirs at this point, and then heading for home without their child. I can't understand why anyone would do this. It is really upsetting that this has happened. In adoption, the most important thing in the process is the safety and well being of these children. If traveling to Ethiopia twice helps with the children's safety and well being, than of course, it is a much needed change in the process.

And to be honest, it's not even the added expenses that are stressing me out. It's the fact that Taher and I have officially been on the waitlist for 4 months. (I was going to do a big post on this, but I guess this one will have to do) Our agency quotes wait times for referral at 4-6 months, so T and I were guessing that we'd get our referral in April or May. Once a referral is received, it can take a couple weeks (or longer) to get a court date. Well, I'm due July 7th, and this would put me well beyond the stage of traveling. . . let alone international travel.

I'm really scared that because of T and I's special circumstances, and because of the new laws for Ethiopian adoption, that our adoption could be pushed back. I mean, I just won't be able to head to Ethiopia this May or June if we get a referral. The airlines wouldn't even let me on a plane that pregnant.

As with so much in my life, this is completely out of my control. I keep telling myself that the worst case scenario is that our adoption is delayed a bit. As long as we have Khalil in the end, I will be okay. But, I'm not going to lie. . . It is still stressful.

And head over to Mandy's blog at Campbell Family Party of 3. I did a guest blog on whether adoption cures infertility. I have copied the article in full below.

Does Adoption Cure Infertility?
By: Leah


Is your infertility resolved?

That is what T and I were asked during our first homestudy visit by our social worker.
I wanted to laugh at her question and tell her how ridiculous of a question I find it. But, I also wanted to adopt a child so I gave her the response she was looking to hear.

"Yes, our infertility is resolved. We are not sad at all about it anymore."

Our social worker gave us an approving nod and moved on to the next question.

What I really wanted to tell this social worker was, that in my opinion, infertility is never resolved. To be resolved, that means that we're over it. That it is no longer a part of our lives. That it isn't something we think about on a daily basis.

But to me, infertility is like a death. Time lessens the grief, but the grief and the loss are always present. Adopting 10 children won't take away the pain of infertility. Nor would I love those 10 children any less because they were adopted. Adoption and infertility are completely separate entities in my mind.

I'll never forget meeting with a Psychologist who experienced infertility and was never able to have biological children. She told me that not being able to have biological children will always be her greatest disappointment in life. I think that is the case for most people. Their wounds will heal and their pain will lessen. They will find new joys in life, they will find new ways to parent, and they will be wonderful parents. But the loss will always be there.

There is no cure for infertility. Science has made great strides to make it possible for almost everyone to have biological children, but science still has a long ways to go.

I believe that infertility deserves the same compassion and understanding that any major disease deserves. And although I do not believe adoption cures infertility, I am so thankful that adoption is an option for so many people. Back in the day, if a couple couldn't conceive, they were forced to live their lives without children. I am thankful there are other ways to parent because some of the best parents I know are people who could not have biological children. It would be a great disappointment for these wonderful people not to have the right to parent, and it would have been even a greater disappointment if these kids never had the opportunity to have these wonderful people as their Mom and Dad.