Today is day 1 back at work. And unfortunately, I had a rough night. I woke up at about 1:30am with a terrible migraine headache. I don't get migraines very often. . . I actually never get them, but one decided to pay me a visit last night. Anyone who has ever had a migraine knows that there is absolutely no sleeping through one. The pain is intense. It's awful. I laid awake in bed and listened to Scarlett sleep. Then at 4am she woke up and her wonderful Baba fed her as I was not able. Then before I knew it, it was time to get in the shower and get ready for the work day. And well. . . here I am.
The goodbye was sad. . . for me of course. I take comfort in the fact that Scarlett has no idea what's going on. Scarlett gave me her big, beautiful smiles, and talked to me. (She is "talking" so much these days) I held her and cried, and then I left, thinking, this is just really not fair.
T waited at home until the nanny got there, and when he handed Scarlett to the nanny, she cried a bit. Breaks my heart. I don't know if I could be a stay at home Mom, but I do know that I wasn't ready yet to leave Scarlett. I've loved every moment with her.
17 comments:
i'm sure it's SO tough to leave your little one :-( AND to have to do it w/a migraine... geez! it's got to get easier, right?!
What an awful morning. I hope you are feeling better. I remember those first days back at work when my boys were little and how hard it was to leave them. You do what you have to do. I chose to stay home with them when they were older and work part time and I have no regrets. Financially it's not always easy, but I personally think that being home with them when they are older and more involved in things is very important. It's not for everyone, but it works for us.
Hang in there Leah. You are in my thoughts today.
Every woman must make hard choices like being a stay at home mom or a working mom. None of those choices are easy ones to make. I'm a stay at home mom, but this may make it harder for the twins when they are a little older to do sleep overs, or stay with grandmas, or vacations when I'm not with them.
No matter what decisions you make in this amazing journey through motherhood, you will feel like it's the toughest decision you ever had to make. You do know in years to come when your children are teenagers and they are making right choices for themselves that you did a pretty damn good job =) and that is something to be incredibly proud of. This is where I am today. Incredibly proud of my older children. Also proud of myself for being able to be that parent I always wanted and hoped to be.
I'm so so sorry you had a rough night. My thoughts are with you during this very hard time you are facing in your life.
Always remember, Our maker will never give us anything he didn't think we could handle.
Hi Leah, I had my son the same day as you, and today is my first day back at work too. It is tough, but I know it will get better and easier. Scarlett is in great hands, and it is a blessing that you are able to have a nanny come to your home. Scarlett will be happy, comfortable and well-cared for. Hang in there, and I'm thinking of you! Heather
Oh, that separation anxiety is awful :( So sorry that you are enduring this, as its hard. Maybe have a camera at home so that you can check in on her during the day? Tell the nanny you just need to see her, as this has been a long journey.
Much Love
I know it's hard.
:(..I know how hard it is to leave them. It just breaks my heart! You both will do fine it will take sometime to adjust!!
Just sending you love as you handle this new adjustment. I can't imagine how hard it must be. The migraine was just manifesting how you're feeling on the inside, those are awful, I've had a ton lately, and pray that you don't have any more!
I remember well how hard it was to leave my daughter when I went back to work at 12 weeks. It sucked. It does get easier though, I promise.
Hugs
Jacky
Thinking of you lots today!!!!! Migraines are the worst and for me stress is always the cause! I am sure you guys will get into a routine and things will be easier but for now it just plain stinks I'm sure. Hugs to you today!!!!
It's so hard to start back to work after you've been home with them! I completely understand not wanting to leave that precious little one, but it will get easier and easier as the days go by. I don't know if that's a good thing or a sad thing, but it does get better. Hope you are feeling better!
I'm sorry Leah. That all sounds terrible.
It WILL get better... it will.
That sounds so sad! I hope your first day back at work is SUPER though!
Leah,
I'm so sorry...I know how difficult it is to leave your children for work. It will get easier. It's never "easy", but it does get easier.
Enjoy your last few weeks of being a mom to one (in the house). I'm looking forward to reading about your journey home with your son!
Oh, I can't imagine. :( I hope it gets easier for you and I hope the migraine gets better. (((HUGS)))
This is something that has been heavy on my mind lately...maternity leave, my career, and figuring out how I'm going to swing all of this. It's funny--I never thought about any of this while going through treatments. My goal and wish was simply to get pregnant and then figure it all out later. Well, it's later...and I just don't know what to do about this whole issue of returning to work. Anyway, I can imagine that this will be a rough week indeed for you, and I'm thinking of you. Hang in there, girl.
Migraines are the worst, especially when you wake up with them. It seems like they are a million times worse than an average migraine.
I'm sorry you had to go back to work. It always seems like its too early. Why do Americans have such short maternity leaves? Its crap. Being at work will get easier. I promise.
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