Taher's Corner

I am Leah's husband Taher, and she has been asking me to do a guest post ever since she launched this blog, so here it is.

Leah and I spoke of adopting even before we were married. I always thought it was going to be the second child (and still may be). As you all know the road to get to this point seemed insurmountable at many points and how it plays out over the next few months will be interesting. I’m incredibly excited to be a father and the anticipation of meeting my daughter and son is usually what’s top of mind these days.

This current journey to create/achieve a family is in its last third now. Last year was a complete kick in the teeth with all the emotions that arise from infertility. I’ve read that infertility is the second most traumatic experience a person can go through; only second to the death of a spouse. Low self esteem, questioning any sort of irresponsible behavior from the past that could have contributed to infertility. The list goes on and when ultimately the doctors didn’t have a diagnosis for our infertility, it was MADDENING.

I’ll never forget the two worst days of 2009. The first was the day of “extraction” of Leah’s almost 20 eggs, mostly mature. Leah was under anesthesia and the doctor failed to extract an overwhelming majority of the eggs; the ones he did manage to get, were immature. I was now thinking how I was going to tell Leah the only thing she wanted to know when she came out from under the anesthesia. I was gutted. She came in and out of slumber 3 times (I managed to stall until she was completely cognizant). Finally, she asked “How many?”, and I replied “Six."

I was angry. Angry at the most knowledgeable doctor in the State of Minnesota regarding infertility. I instantly felt as if I was at a Circus Carnival where someone was selling Elixir and I happened to be the fool who bought into it. This elixir cost fifteen thousand dollars and it did not work. Days of injections after injections and trips to the pharmacy. I think I’ve seen all the porn at that doctors office over several visits.

The second worst moment of 2009 was United’s loss at the hands of the Catalans in the Champions League Final in Rome.

After moving on with our adoption, I really started to think more towards my son. All the great times ahead of us as a family. In truth, I really didn’t have time to get into dreaming about my family when the dream changed yet again. One morning I was woken from my deep slumber by a frantic Leah, telling me something and speaking a mile a minute. I thought, “Kill the bloody spider yourself!”

She told me she was pregnant. =)

As to the future, I’m going to try and raise these children by showing them the best aspects of different peoples and their cultures. Something Leah and I value to our core.