I survived my first day back and work, and today was a little bit easier to say goodbye to Scarlett in the morning. I'd still rather be with her, but I now have the confidence that I can do this, and that it will all work out.
I feel like I learned so much in the past 24 hours.
1. Going to my day job is so much easier than staying home. I'd rather stay home still, but it is so difficult and stay at home parents do not get enough credit. It's work! I actually feel like when I go to my job, it's a break. And for the first time in a while, I was able to eat lunch with BOTH hands. Wow!
2. Now that I'm away from Scarlett for 9 hours every day, when I am with her, I want the time to count. I don't have the quantity I desire, so I must focus on the quality. When I got home from work yesterday, I grabbed Scarlett immediately and didn't put her down for the next 3 hours. I put her in a baby bjorn and carried her everywhere I went in the house. I just held her, and cuddled her, and talked to her, and reassured her. . . for hours. When I was home with Scarlett all day, I didn't feel so bad that I would just hold her while I watched a show. But now that I'm away from her all day, I want to make the most of the time we have together.
3. Babies Scarlett's age, well, at least Scarlett, are just happy to be well taken care of. If they are getting fed, changed, held, and played with, they are generally happy. I know all babies are different, so I'm only speaking for mine, but I don't feel like she was sad to see me go, or that happy to see me return. She knows I'm her Mom, but she hasn't developed real preference yet. Leaving her with a nanny will be much harder when she's older and vocal and yells, "DON'T GO MOMMY!" Right now though, she just seems content with whoever is with her.
4. It feels good to be able to wear makeup and heels again. I guess I could have done these things on my leave, but I never saw the point, and let me tell you, most days, I was fortunate enough to find time to shower. I like that I look good. It makes me feel good. (And looking good is relative. I look good compared to my days at home. . . ) :)
5. Being a Mom is the hardest thing I will ever do. EVER. I remember a few years ago seeing a poster that said having children is like having your heart outside your body. I now know what that means. Being a Mom is the hardest thing I will ever love.
12 comments:
I'm so glad you are feeling a bit better about being at work. I'm sure it was so hard to leave her, but so great to come home to her! I agree - being a mom is the hardest and best job I will ever have :)
:) Your such a great momma! It is kinda crazy how one day can make such a difference huh? :)
Oh wow - you're back to work already? Is it time yet? Hope you had some wonderful first few weeks with your new little one!
Ugh, I hear ya about going to work being easier then staying home, sigh. Wished more people, would realize that and not talk one down when one tells them "I'm a stay at home mom!"
"Oh yeah? Stay at home Mom, so you got all the time in the world to sit on the sofa and eat bon-bons all day long!" (seriously, people say that!!)
WHAT??
Ooh do I gladly invite these people over to spend a day with me......8 hours later they change their minds ;-)
I must have missed it, but who is taking care of Scarlett now? I remember you mentioned a Nanny come to your house, did that work out?
You must be getting close to picking up Khahil, right? I've been so out off the loop. Things have been crazy in our home, with all them kids still being on summer break. Can't wait for life to get back to normal (if it ever gets that around here), read up on peoples blogs and socialize ;-)
8 more days, 8 more days before school starts.........8 long dragging days, lol.
In a few short years I'll be able to go back to work as well.......hello make-up, morning showers, breakfast in peace and my white clothing......ahh, dream dream ;-)
Enjoy!!!
So happy you are making the transition and finding the positives :) I can only imagine what it felt like to go back to work...all the mixed emotions, but kudo's to you for remaining a professional and being a great Mommy! Scarlett is a lucky little girl, but I know you feel like you are the lucky one to have her :)
Sending you HUGS as you make the transition.
xxx
I have to say Mel said it all. stay at home mom's I promise you are not sitting on the couch all day, and if they are they don't deserve to be parents. ( lots of neglect going on)
I'm so glad your day is going better. and ohh yes the coming home to your children after a long day at work feels sooooooooo good! you do appreciate it more, in a different way.
I Miss getting dressed up for work as well. It does make you feel good. more like a "woman".
me? I clean all day, get puked up on and oh yes pee'd on, and little hands slapping the food out of their spoons all over me, so my word robe is pajamas. I change out of one into another. lol ... not so sexy.
Glad things are working out for you and your family. I'm just sorry your first day back wasn't so awesome.
The first day is always the hardest. It is great that it is behind you, and you are well on your way to being a working mom getting easier. I figured out when I returned to work that it was about making your time with your baby count when you did get to be with them too. I also discovered that I appreciate my daughter more because absence DOES make the heart grow fonder, which in turn increased my patience with her so much. How can I be upset that she is fussy when I don't get to see her as much? There are pros and cons on both sides.
Glad you're doing so well. :)
*hugs*
Great post! Glad today was a bit easier. Hope that it's easing a tiny bit of your anxiety about going to Ethiopia too. Thinking of you. Good luck with all your adventures this month!
It's got to be SO hard to go back to work. But it sounds like you were able to find some positives about the situation, and that she is in very good hands. Hang in there as you continue with the adjustment.
Glad to hear that you are feeling better and that the 2nd day was easier. Being away from Scarlett really will make you treasure every moment that you actually are with her. Just think of how great each weekend will be when you are with her all day long! Heather
Yay for a better day!! Glad you are focusing on the positives and enjoying every minute that you are with that pretty little girl!!
Totally a hard job, but SO very worth it. Yay for moms!!! And there hard parts no matter where you work, no job or job outside of the house. Kids kind of take over...in a good way!
I agree with you 10,000% that it is harder to be home! I left my high stress job negotiating contracts between pharmacutical companies to be a SAHM in April and I am so much more exhausted now! The pay is less, but I have to say the rewards and benefits are so much more than I could have imagined :-)
Glad to hear things are calming down and your first week back is going well! You will ease into a schedule before you know it!
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