From the moment I fell in love with you, I have been looking forward to seeing you as a father. I've imagined you holding our children and rocking them to sleep ever since our wedding day. I've dreamed about what our family would look like, and which one of us in the relationship would be the push-over parent, and which one would be the strict one.
I've often imagined the joy that being a father would bring to you.
It hasn't been an easy journey, yet here we are, two and a half weeks away from meeting our daughter, and hopefully only a short time away from meeting our son. What a difference a year makes.
I remember last Father's Day so well. I had already come to the conclusion that you and I would not be parents. Our first IVF had failed the month prior, and we were going through our second IVF. The funds for adoption didn't seem present at the time, and I felt like I had been a major let down in your life. I decided I needed to get away for the weekend, so I went to my parent's house. Father's Day Sunday, my Dad and I went to church. . . just the two of us. I was so angry. Not at you, not at God, not at anyone in particular. I was just simply angry.
It being Father's Day, I knew I couldn't get through church without the pastor mentioning it. I dreaded it being mentioned, because I so wanted you to be a father. And then it came. . . the pastor wished all the Father's in the congregation a happy Father's Day. But then he went even further, and said a prayer for all of those men longing to be fathers. I sat next to my own Dad and cried, and hoped that no one would see my pain. I also prayed for men longing to be fathers. . . I prayed for you. And for the first time in a long time, I let my heart soften, and I let the anger dissipate. It was only then that I was able to imagine another path to parenthood. Another path to making you a father.
I can't wait to see you in this role. I can't wait to see our children love, respect, and admire you as much as I do. You are going to be wonderful.
Happy 1st Father's Day.
10 comments:
That was so kind and sweet. I love you more than you could imagine. Can't wait until the family is all here. I then suggest we renew our vows so that both out little monkeys can be in the wedding. With Charlotte! If we get married again do we get presents? =)
Leah, Thank you so much for sharing this! It is beautiful I am praying for your family!
what a sweet post to your husband. I hope you have a wonderful Fathers day with him
Even though I have never met Taher I can tell that he will be a wonderful and loving father! You were so kind to write this to him! So happy for you two!!!! Sending you lots of positive thoughts as you near the end of your pregnancy!
Awwww!!! T is going to make a wonderful daddy!!!
I LOVE this! What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it. Happy first Father's Day to him!!!
such a sweet and beautiful post! i cannot wait to watch matt become a father... it's gotta be so awesome!!!!
This is beautiful. I hope you have a great Father's day!!!
This brought tears to my eyes. So beautiful. Thanks for sharing!!
Beautiful post! I can't wait to see pictures of your family all together!
I love that when we expect something that will hurt to come (the Father's Day mention at church) and God surprises us with a little something extra, like He knew we needed it!!
Happy Father's Day to Taher!
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